Chaos Emails.exe/Ultimate Enemy

Warning! This Email is a season finale AND 100+ Lines long!

Summary

Chaos, Kanjiro, Heain, Im A Bell, Cow Puncher, and their newest action member, Geoblu, fight off the Ultimate Evil....or do they?

Cast(in order of appearence): Chaos, Kanjiro, Heian, Im A Bell, Cow Puncher, Geoblu, Ammy, Issun

Places: Chaos' Basement, Boat, Time portal, Infinite Staircase, Elevator, Moon Cave, Eternia, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: BELL 2999

Date: December 10, 2007

Transcript

Part 1:"The Ultimate Enemy"

CHAOS: Why do I feel like something Bad is about to happen?

{Types "[email protected]//Email", email appears onscreen.}

Dear Chaos,

I am the Ultimat Enemy, a force more powerful than your father himself.
I challenge you and your actiony companions to a battle!
From,
The Ultimate Enemy

CHAOS: A battle, eh? Well, I'll need some help if this is true. {Blows whitsle}

KANJIRO: Chaos, what is it? I heard the action Whistle!

HEIAN: And I've been 2 rooms away, working on my novel!

{Im A Bell crashes through the roof.}

IM A BELL: I'm here too! Also, the hole you made on the night of the christmas party needs to be fixed.

CHAOS: Uhh....Great. Well, We're missing somebody....

COW PUNCHER: Not anymore! {appears in puff of smoke}

CHAOS: Now, we have a terrible situation.

COW PUNCHER: Does it involve Jibney?

CHAOS: NO!

IM A BELL: What about Candy?

CHAOS: NO!

HEIAN: Dancing to disco music?

CHAOS: NO, NO, NO!

KANJIRO: Does it involve an evil entity challenging us to a battle?

CHAOS: N-Yes, actually.

COW PUNCHER: Nuh-eeerd!

KANJIRO: I am not!

CHAOS: Anyways, we need one last member. Any guesses as to who it could be?

KANJIRO: You aren't thinking...

CHAOS: Yes I am!

KANJIRO: Anyone but....

CHAOS: It's gonna be him!

KANJIRO: You mean-

CHAOS Yes! Geoblu!

HEAIN: Geo...blu?

CHAOS: He's a friend of mine. Now, to call him! {Picks up Cell phone} Hello, Geoblu? WE NEED YA!

KANJIRO: Well?

GEOBLU: I think he's here.

KANJIRO: Geoblu! Hey! What's up?

GEOBLU: Nothing. But, why do you all need me?

CHAOS: We've been asked to a challenge!!!!

KANJIRO: Hah! I get it. Stinkoman.

GEOBLU: Well, what're we waiting for? Let's go!

Part 2: To the Moon Cave!

{Scene changes to a boat in the ocean}

GEOBLU: So, what is this "Ultimate Evil's Name?

KANJIRO: If only we knew that.

IM A BELL: One thing we do know: This enemy is residing in the past!

GEOBLU: How do you know?

CHAOS: The timestamp is over 1400 years old!

HEIAN: That's good enough proof.

COW PUNCHER: Thing is, How're we gonna go back in time?

IM A BELL: With the Time portal!

CHAOS: From there, we can head to any point of time! Forwards or back!

KANJIRO:' And the portal is where the Moon Cave once stood. So if we go back in time from there, we'll make it to the moon cave with little to no effort!

CHAOS: Question is, how should we fight this "Ultimate Enemy"?

GEOBLU: Stone them!

IM A BELL: Chime them!

KANJIRO: Reap them!

COW PUNCHER: Punch them!

CHAOS AND HEAIN: Ambush.

COW PUNCHER: Ok then...But, how much longer until we're there?

CHAOS: Not too long.

KANJIRO: We should enjoy it while we're out here. I mean, it's not everyday you have a long travel by sea.

HEIAN: And we have a chance of not returning, which means we should live it up now.

GEOBLU: So, it'll be an easy battle, do you think?

KANJIRO: Personally, I don't know what to tell you.

IM A BELL: Chaos said that there'd be nothing to worry about, But I doubt that too.

CHAOS: Well, your doubts and beliefs are about to come true!

KANJIRO: What makes you say that?

CHAOS: We're there!

Part 3:Time travel Time!

{The party makes it into the cave, which has tons of electrical objects, and has a portal in the middle.}

CHAOS: We're here.

COW PUNCHER: So, how does it work?

HEAIN: We just charge into the portal and...bam!

CHAOS: It seems too easy.

KANJIRO: Well, tell that to Geo! He and Bell ran head first into the portal!

CHAOS: Did I tell you how limitless their stupidity is?

KANJIRO: Yes. And of course, I know from experience.

CHAOS: Terrific.

COW PUNCHER: Shouldn't we go in and help them?

CHAOS: I really don't want to but, I guess we have to.

{Chaos rounds everybody else up, and they all head into the portal, Which brings them to a long, ascending Staircase.}

CHAOS: We made it. And from the looks of it, Geoblu and Bell were here.

KANJIRO: You can say that again!

CHAOS: We made it. And from the looks of it, Geoblu and Bell were here.

KANJIRO: I didn't mean that literally.

HEIAN: You 2 coming?

{Cuts to Heian and Cow Puncher, who are both starting up the staircase.}

CHAOS: Let's go!

Part 4:The (Almost)Neverending Story Staicase

{Cuts to the party, tired, only a tenth of the way up the staircase.}

CHAOS: Are we there yet?

KANIRO:Almost...

HEIAN: Are you kidding me?

COW PUNCHER: How did those idiots manage to climb this?

CHAOS: Uh, guys?

KANJIRO: What? How do they have one of-

COW PUNCHER: One of what?

{Cuts to elevator.}

CHAOS: One of those.

COW PUNCHER: How is one of those there?

CHAOS: Leave it to Geoblu and Bell.

KANJIRO: Oh, forget this. {Teleports}

CHAOS: He's got the idea! {Teleports the rest of the party into the elevator}

HEIAN: Ingenious!

CHAOS: Now, let's just press Top Floor...

{The Elevator begins to move, and makes it to the top in 10 seconds.}

COW PUNCHER: Maybe we should've looked for one of those sooner.

Part 5:To Eternia and Beyond!

{The team enter's the cave, to find Bell and Geoblu knocked out, and Kanjiro kneeling down.}

CHAOS: Kanjiro? What happened?

KANJIRO: When I got up here, Bell and Geoblu were fighting the evil, when all of a sudden, they fall over. So I go to attack this Evil and, I almost lose my life.

COW PUNCHER: He'll never beat me!

{Cow Puncher goes to punch the Evil, and is shot back and knocked out.}

CHAOS: So, what is this ultimate-{Gasps} A wolf?

ISSUN: This here is Ammy! She's the god of the sun, re-incarnated into Shirunai, a former spirit of hers. And I'm Issun, the traveling artist! We two are unstoppable!

CHAOS: I can't believe the ultimate evil is a wolf.

ISSUN: Oh, Ammy and I aren't the Ultimate Enemy!

CHAOS: EVEN MORE GOOD NEWS! Now, give me 2 reasons why I shouldn't kill you both for seriously interrupting my show?

ISSUN: We want to battle!

CHAOS: I caught that a while ago. Fine. We can fight. But not in here. And it's only me and the wolf.

ISSUN: Magical Scroll of Eternia! Go!

{The scroll unravels itself and turns the background into a part of space.}

ISSUN: Good luck!

CHAOS: I'll finish this with 2 good hits!

{Chaos and Amaterasu jump and collide. When the smoke claers, the background returns to Chaos' Basement, and Chaos is on the couch.}

ISSUN: Folks, I have terrible news. Chaos Has been put into a sleep-like spell, so we're gonna be leading the show for a while!

KANJIRO: How did he get like that?

ISSUN: Is that a trick question? I mean, how else. We beat him up.

Part 6:Meet the Gang

HEIAN: So, why don't you familiarize yourself with the people around here?

{Ammy and Issun look at each other, giving puzzled looks.}

ISSUN: There's more than just us here. We're in {Camera zooms out to show all of Free Country USA} Free Country, USA!

ISSUN: Sure.

{Scene changes to Homestar and Strong Bad in the field.}

HEIAN: This is Homestar Runner and Strong Bad. Strong Bad has an email show, too!

'ISSUN: Nice to meet ya both!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey! Look! A little guy and a white thing.

STRONG BAD: Woah! A wolf! And of the white variety!

{Ammy lifts her paw up.}

ISSUN: Aww. She wants to be your friend!

HOMESTAR & STRONG BAD: She? That's a girl?

ISSUN: What other gender could she be?

HEIAN: Well, guys. We have to go in from here. See ya later!

STRONG BAD: That wolf was creepy.

{Strong Bad is instantly covered in ink.}

STRONG BAD: AHHH! INKFACE! INKDANCE! YEEEOWW! INK EYES!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I thought today I was supposed to do the InkFace dance.

{Scene Changes to Bubs' Concession Stand, Where Bubs and Coach Z are.}

HEIAN: That's Bubs and Coach Z.

BUBS: A wolfie! With a glowing flea? That can't be good. Now, what you need is some Anti-Magic flea spray.

ISSUN: I'm not a flea!

COACH Z: The Flea's right. He's a tick.

BUBS: No, wait. A ladybug.

COACH Z: I thank he's a tick.

BUBS: LadyBug!

HEIAN: We have to get going now.

ISSUN: Is everyone around here strange like that?

HEIAN: Yeah, but, there's tons of people!

ISSUN: I think I get the idea.

HEIAN: Also, If you're gonna fill in for Chaos, you'll need your own computer.

ISSUN: Magic Scroll work?

HEIAN: I think...

{Ammy and Issun return to Chaos' Basement, where Pom-Pom, Jhonka and The Cheat are all wearing party hats.}

HEIAN: I almost forgot. These are, The Cheat, Chao-I mean, YOUR intern.

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

{Ammy goes and picks The Cheat up, while the cheat is screaming.}

ISSUN: Who are the spite Guy in the Suit and the Bubble?

HEIAN: Why, that's Jhonka, Chaos' attorney and lawyer, and Pom-Pom, Chaos' Second technical producer.

ISSUN: Second?

HEIAN: Sam The Man is the first. But he's away, tempering his own magic prowess.

ISSUN: Sounds intruiging and creepy.

{Ammy releases The Cheat and nods her head.}

ISSUN: Now. Why are they in {Zooms into party hats} party hats?

HEIAN: They're celebrating you guys leading the show!

ISSUN: Hear that, Ammy? We're being invited!

HEIAN: Well, I'm not needed anymore.

ISSUN: Well, thanks for letting us on here! We'll do a god job answering Emails!

JHONKA: Good. Let's go guys.

ISSUN: Man. Everyone who lives here is creepy!

AMMY: {howls}

ISSUN: You can say that again!

AMMY: {howls}

THE END OF SEASON 1!