Chaos Emails.exe/Jhonka

Summary

Chaos reminnisces about Jhonka, while trying to save him from being bought.

Cast(in order of appearence): Chaos, The Cheat, Jhonka, Homestar Runner

Places: Chaos' basement, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: BELL 2999

Date: September 10, 2007

Transcript

CHAOS: {inhales.} whoo. Checkin' my E-mail. Wish me luck.

{Types [email protected]//Email , Tandy-style Email appears on screen.}

Dear Strong Bad Chaos,

Do you take your wrestling mask and boxing
gloves off before you go to bed?

Sincerely,
Abdi LaRue

San Diego, CA

{Chaos pans through it, mumbling as he hits certain parts, then clears screen.}

CHAOS: Gloves? Mask? BED!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? This is obviously a cliche that everyone gets. Maybe I typed the wrong thing.....let's try again, shall we?

{types "[email protected]//Email", Email appears onscreen.}

CHAOS: here we go!

Dear Chaos,

Where is Jhonka?
Rumors say that you know where he went after PQ.
Sincerely,

Abby Milnad

CHAOS: Dear Chaos, Where is Jhonka? Rumors say that you know where he went after PQ. Sincerely, A bee in my land.

{clears screen.}

CHAOS: {while typing.} yes, I do. After PQ, he went to do a car dealership ad, followed by a 3-part block as a Russian spy on 24. I believe he bought a timeshare in the coches, next to the sect of closely guarded monks. Wonder where he is now?

{The Cheat enters, putting his jacket and hat on a coat rack.}

CHAOS: Hey, The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: {makes Cheat noises while going to the esspresso brewer.}

CHAOS: Solid.{gets up out of his chair and heads over to The Cheat.} What do ya got for me?

THE CHEAT: {Making cheat noises while handing a paper to Chaos.}

{Chaos reads the paper.}

CHAOS: {cuts to view of the paper.} Today only! One time Jhonka sale! Only at Bubs concession stand! All last year Jhonkas on sale! Get one before it's too late!?!?

CHAOS: Holy relevant to what I was just talking about over the Email! To the field!

{Chaos and The Cheat make it to the field.}

CHAOS: Here's where we suit up to fight the evils of the stand!...Um..... do we have suits to wear?

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

CHAOS: Oh. Well then.....Let's just go to the stand now

{Chaos and The Cheat make it to the stand.}

CHAOS: Look!

{Cuts to Jhonka tied up with duct tape.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Altered voice;covered by shadow.} Don't touch him!

CHAOS: Who are you?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Are you kidding me? It's Homestar Runner! From school! Hold on

{Homestar coughs repeatedly}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Normal voice.} There we go. Got a spit bubble stuck in my throat. Oh. Hold on again

{Homestar steps out of the shadows.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: How about now?

CHAOS: Oh. Well then. The Cheat. ATTACK HOMESTAR! I'll get Jhonka!

{The Cheat jumps on Homestar while Chaos un-tapes Jhonka.}

CHAOS: There. Seeya later, Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dizzy} Seeya laters, Juys! Oh! {Falls over.}

{Chaos runs back to his house with Jhonka on his shoulder.}

JHONKA: Thank you, wingy man.

{Chaos stops and Jhonka flies across the field.}

CHAOS: You can talk!?!?!?!?!?!?!

JHONKA: Me always talk. Never did much on screen in PQ. Bad grammar.

CHAOS: Four years I've known you, and you haven't said a single word.

JHONKA: Sorry.

{Chaos returns to the computer.}

CHAOS: While there it is, Bee. Guess Jhonka's gotta bunk with me for a few erm..... months. Or until Homestar forgets about what he did. Now get off my land! Shoo! Shoo! Don't make me get a swatter!

{Chaos runs out the door, then returns with a Bubs-O-Flex brand fly swatter and hits the screen with it.}

CHAOS: Take that!

THE END!