Chaos Emails.exe/Internet

Summary

Chaos explains all the things he does on the Internet

Cast(In order of appearence): Chaos, The Cheat, Homestar(mentioned), Bubs(mentioned), Strong Bad(voice only)

Places: Chaos' Basement

Computer: BELL 2999

Date: October 24, 2007

Transcript

CHAOS: {To the tune of "Y-M-C-A"} EEEEEEE-mail! This show is all about Eeeee-he-mai-hail!

{types "[email protected]//Email", Email appears onscreen.}

Hi Chaos!,

Do you like online gaming,
or is your father one of those strict types
that doesn't let you do that stuff...
If you do (and can...) tell me about it,
like what kinds of games you like and stuff.
From,
Ori Jnak

{clears screen}

CHAOS: {While typing} Well, Ori, My dad could....really care less what I do on here. So I play EVERYTHING, MAN!!

CHAOS: I mainly play RPGs, like AdventureQuest, MechQuest, Dragonfable, Fallensword, Sryth, RuneScape, 2Moons, World of Warcraft, tons of them! And on more than half of them, my username is Chaosvii7! But I don't just tussle, I hussle!

{Clears screen}

CHAOS: {while typing} I also go on social networking/virtual life websites. Like Powerpets and Neopets, Even Xevoz! Now, for those of you who don't know any of the games I'm talking about, they're all fun! You get to make a character, play in a big, wide world, spend money on upgrades, it's the bee's knees!

{Clears screen}

CHAOS: {while typing} If there's a game with a midevial buildup, expect me there! Im always the unstoppable, multiweapon warrior the can crush anyone with doubles, triples, final shots, arcane shots.

{clears screen}

CHAOS: {While typing} but, I can split a little into other classes. Like, I'm also a Dragonlord, a pirate, a ninja, a guardian, a priest, a paladin, a scholar, a dragonslayer, a dracomancer, a NECROmancer, a barbarian, a mech pilot, a hunter, a mercenary, a war god, and a druid.

CHAOS: But I also mingle on these sites. I can get girls EASY on these things. I could be like, "Hey, you look fine." And they'd be all "cast a magic paladin spell", and I'd kill the nearest thing with a beam of powers. And in the event I didn't accidentally didn't kill the girl I'm wooing, I get her username!

{clears screen}

CHAOS: {While typing} In fact, I'm playing a few now while you all aren't looking! Though I hate to be rude, I just can't stop playing them.

{Clears screen}

CHAOS: {While typing} I know that when you think about it, it sounds a little...geeky. But I can't help it. It was how I was raised! Like how some kid needs to be tucked in to fall asleep. Or how people need to clean every second of their life.

{Clears screen}

CHAOS: {While Typing} But I check the other things on the internet, like people who want to be my part-time assistant! But I already have The Cheat, and he's all the help I need. And I wouldn't have found his resume, if not for monster!

{Types "Open_Re-zhoom, The Cheat's resume opens up.}

BAXTER-BIRNEY, THE CHEAT

*Fluent in 6,995 Languages! (That's all of them!)
*Home Maker, 1984-1985
*Home Wrecker, 1985-2000
*Strong Bad's "Lackey", 2000-present
*Strong Mad's friend, 2000-present
*Cheat, 1961-present
*Kick target, 2002-present
*Junior Executive Of Not Having To Go On Pointless Business Trips, present
*Scandinavian miner, 1961-present

CHAOS: In fact.... { gets out cell phone and dials numbers} The Cheat, wanna help out over here?

{Cheat noises coming out of his phone}

CHAOS: Whaddya mean, turn around? I-- {Turns around to see The Cheat} Oh. You're here. {throws cellphone offscreen} Well, do you play RPGs online?

THE CHEAT: {Agreeing Cheat noises}

CHAOS: Really? You wanna show me what you play?

THE CHEAT: { heading into the chair while making excited Cheat noises}

{The Cheat types in RuneScape.com and enters his username as "Cheatachu42"}

CHAOS: Wow! You play RuneScape, too?

THE CHEAT: {greeing Cheat noises}

{A black armored character named "Homestar_Killa43561" appears on}

CHAOS: Whoa! Homestar plays these kind of games, too?

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

{The Cheat closes out of that, and heads on to Fallensword, logging in with the same name as his RuneScape name and going into the mailbox to find a Message from "sbuB966041"}

CHAOS: Don't tell me..... Bubs plays these kinds of games, too?

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

CHAOS: Never knew that like, everyone around here played these kinds of games. Show me another!

{The Cheat closes out of fallensword and opens up WoW, logging in as CheatSpeakMage0101}

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

{The Cheat dons a headset and starts talking to Strong Bad}

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises simailar to "Sup, my Doge?"}

STRONG BAD: {Warbly ans scratchy} Hey, The Cheat! Wanna go do an instance together?

THE CHEAT: {Sigh, followed by disagreeing Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Okay, then. Seeyas!

'{The Cheat logs off, and hops off the chair while panning offscreen}

CHAOS: Wow.....I didn't know that there was a lot of people here that did those kinds of things. Maybe I should find a few. {sits back in his chair and clears the screen}

CHAOS: {While typing} See, Ori? I'm not the only person around here who does these things. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to find out who plays what. {gets up from chair and puts on a hat}

CHAOS: Away! {runs offscreen}

THE END!