(even if you aren't vegan)
Chaos Emails.exe/Flatts
Summary
Chaos and The Cheat go on a quest to slay the one named "Flatts."
Cast (In order of appearance): Chaos, Ms. Puff, The Cheat, Virtual Flatts, Virtual Chaos
Places: Chaos' Basement, Ms. Puff's classroom
Computer: BELL 2999
Date: October 6, 2007
Transcript
CHAOS: 2...3...4...{A la barbershop quartet} You've got to come see, my new philosophy........EEEEEEEMAAAIIILLLL!!!
{types "[email protected]//Email", Email appears onscreen.}
Dear Ms. Puff,
Flatts is gonna kick my butt!
From,
Sponge Bob
{Clears screen}
CHAOS: WHAT!!! I'll alert her right away!
{Chaos goes to Ms. Puffs classroom}
CHAOS: MS. PUFF! FLATTS IS GONNA KICK SPONGEBOB'S BUTT!
{Ms. Puff gasps, puffs up, then faints}
CHAOS: Wow, didn't mean to shock you there... Well, it looks as though only I can solve this. Back to the basement!
{Chaos returns to the basement}
CHAOS: Now I shall sound The Cheat siren! {Chaos picks up a slide whistle shaped like The Cheat and plays it}
{The Cheat instantly teleports to Chaos' Basement with a chef's hat and oven mitts}
CHAOS: The Cheat! Assume quest-bearing mode!
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
{The Cheat presses a big, blue button, and Him and Chaos get backpacks and weapons}
CHAOS: AWAY!!! {Chaos sprouts wings and a tail and flies away}
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises similar to "Away!!!"}
{The Cheat holds up his arms and activates his jet-pack, and tails after Chaos}
{Chaos and The Cheat land back in Chaos' Basement}
CHAOS: What the? Why didn't we go anywhere? What about Flatts? C'mon! Stupid fourth wall! {Sigh} Maybe I can Virtually find and slay Flatts. {Chaos tears off his disguise and head to the BELL}
CHAOS: Now, to go to the web...here it is! welcome to {Types in URL} virtualflattslayer.com!!!
{Enter button appears onscreen, and Chaos clicks it}
{Chaos is brought to a character selection screen and makes himself what appears to be a warrior with black armor}
{Chaos clicks "To The World!!!" button and enters a cave with a computer-generated Flatts}
CHAOS:' And now you die!!! {Clicks spacebar and hurls a black fireball at Flatts, slaying him}
{EXP screen appears, and Chaos gets 300 EXP for slaying flats, which hardly raises the exp bar}
{Clears screen
CHAOS: {While typing} Now, how do I celebrate this? Huh. Maybe I should just {Holds up cell phone} TELL EVERYONE I KNOW!!! {Opens up cell phone and dials} Hello? Bubs? I just slayed Flatts! Hello......
{A screen that reads 80 phone calls later appears, then fades back to Chaos still at the BELL with the words from before still on the screen}
{clears screen}
CHAOS: {while typing} Now, that that's out of place, I guess I should.....Gee. I dunno. How about another one-person barbershop quartet? Eh?
{Chaos runs offscreen and returns dressed like a member of a barbershop quartet}
CHAOS: We were sailing along, on Moonlight Bay {Baritone} on Moonlight Baaaaay. We were...
{Screen turns black, then returns to show The Cheat throwing a bouqet of roses and crying}
CHAOS: Thank you! Thank you! I do it all for the fans! After all, you're all the stars!!!
{Chaos returns to and clears the screen}
CHAOS: {While typing} There you have it, Robert. Bob? Bobert? Billiam? William? Kewpie Dan? Hey, The Cheat?
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
CHAOS: Look for a sponge named...Kewpie Dan...
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
CHAOS: I'm gonna make a samm'ich while he's at work. Peace, all my E-fans!
THE END!
Fun Facts
- This is the first instance of Chaos having an email song.
- Flatts, Ms.Puff, and Spongebob, are all Characters in the Nickelodeon kids Television series Spongebob Squarepants.
- Kewpie Dan was a target on Strong Bads "People I gotta egg" list.