(even if you aren't vegan)
Assistant's Blog/all
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20. Bored. - 12.22.08
Ugh... there's nothing to do around here. Number Two's been holed up, working on some new invention he says "will revolutionize villainy as we know it", or whatever. I never really got a good look at it, but whatever. Not like I care.
*sigh* It's like villainy's not all it used to be.
Wait, are we still villains?Mood: bored
Tunes: Emerge - Fischerspooner (look it up, good song)
19. !!! - 12.21.08
Kitty was outside my window today... I think he came back to see me! 
I hope he comes back tomorrow... That's be great.
Mood: omg
Tunes: None
18. *sighs* - 12.21.08
It turns out Kitty belongs to somebody. 
A nice woman came over today, saying her pet kitty got lost while changing collars... I guess that's who Kitty belonged to. I had to give him back, but I told him I'd always miss him... he was so good to me. He was as good a friend as anybody could be...
Mood: heartbroken
Tunes: The credits song from The Hulk
17. About Kitty - 12.21.08
I suppose I should tell you a little bit about Kitty. He's pretty tiny, and he's got beautiful black and white fur. He really seems to like me--maybe it's the matching outfits! Number Two doesn't like him, though. Kitty keeps staring him down... I don't think Kitty likes robots. Maybe it's like how cats hate the vacuum cleaner? I don't know.
Right now he's eating some kitty food. He's such a cute kitty!
Mood: overjoyed
Tunes: Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
16. KITTY! - 12.21.08
So yesterday, I'm going outside to get the paper, and guess what? There's a little kitty sitting on my doorstep! He was so cute, I just had to take him in! He's sitting right on my lap right now, and I named him Kitty.
I never said I was good with names.
Mood: serendipitous(?)
Tunes: Goody Two-Shoes - Adam Ant
15. Well... - 12.19.08
Maybe if you didn't insist on eating at the same time as inventing this would happen. I'll go get the shamois. Shammy. Whatever.
Mood: what is a shamois
Tunes: Jingle Bells
14. Come on! - 12.19.08
You know, writing down your password in plain sight doesn't help. Assistant. Now come here and help me build. I got peanut butter in the disk drives again and I can't get it out!
Mood: aggro 
Tunes: Still Chuck Rock. Dang, that's catchy!
13. Wait a mo' - 12.19.08
How did Number Two get back on my computer? I swear I passworded that thing a day ago... He couldn't have guessed the password, could he?
Mood: confuzzled
Tunes: Superfreak - Rick James
12. Chrimmas - 12.19.08
So Christmas is coming all up ons. It's my favorite time of year, to be honest--the one holiday where I get to just relax and wash all my worries away. It's great... But still, I've gotta keep villain...ing... so I need to be vigilant. Who knows when Skullbuggy will come along and ruin my plans? God, that guy's a jerk.
On another note, I got this custom blog template. Neat, huh? Now you know when I'm posting!
Mood: pugilistic
Tunes: Chuck Rock title screen music
11. The joy of cooking - 12.18.08
Cooking is my favorite thing to do. I'm not going to lie--it makes me feel so much better. See, to me, cooking is like art--edible art. It's a fleeting masterpiece, when put in the right hands; luckily, I've got a master's in culinary arts, so I can call myself experienced. Right now, I'm practicing my newest dish--a vegetable medley in a cheese sauce. So far, my cheese sauce is all thick and gluey... but I'm getting there!
Speaking of cooking, what's your favorite dish? Mine, of course, is the souffle--light, fluffy, and oh-so-fragile.
Mood: at ease
Tunes: If I Could Fly - Joe Satriani
10. Whoops - 12.18.08
Woah, I missed a day! That's not right, now is it? Sorry, I'll try updating more often.
Anyway, I was out yesterday thanks to Christmas shopping. I had to get some presents for Number Two and the Cohens--they're so nice to me, I figured I should return the favor. I'd tell you what they were, but that's a secret!
Mood: cooking
Tunes: Fire-Eyed Boy - Broken Social Scene
9. Damnit. - 12.16.08
Sorry, guys. Number Two found my blog and I'm not sure how to delete posts. But whatever. I'm just going to be diligent in keeping him away from my computer. 
I really need to set a password on my computer.
Mood: disheveled
Tunes: Maple Treeway - Mario Kart Wii
8. User names - 12.16.08
I find it a little weird that, of all names, Assistant wasn't taken. Isn't that we
Ahahaha! I can't believe that dope left his blog open! Now I get to write what I want! Finally, my chance to shine! ... Though you're all probably wondering who I am. I'm Number Two, Assistant's master and soon to be the ruler of the world the country the suburb! I guess I'll be using this blog every once in a while, on the down low.
Mood: lucky me
Tunes: Nobody Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
7. Ketchup = blood? - 12.16.08
Some of you might not know this, but I do enjoy playing a trick on Number Two every once in a while. So I got to thinking--"what would freak him out the most?" The answer, of course, being anal bleeding.
So I stuck a couple ketchup packets underneath the bumps on the toilet seat--which he uses, by the by... Not sure how. But anyway, he sat right down, and pop! Now his legs were covered in ketchup and he was screaming for dear life! I had to stifle my laughter--I nearly died!
Mood: entertained
Tunes: Vicinity of Insanity - System of a Down
6. Quick post - 12.15.08
All of you need to play Trilby: Art of Theft. Like, right now.
Mood: playful
Tunes: Christmas music on the radio
5. Leftovers - 12.15.08
Dinner last night was pretty good--conversation all around, a tasty turkey and stuffing... good stuff. Man, I wish I took back some leftovers. But everything here has to be inspected by Number Two first--he says its some sort of precaution. For what?
Oh, whatever. I guess I just don't understand him. What a moron.
Mood: hungry
Tunes: Octopus' Garden - The Beatles
4. Going to dinner - 12.14.08
I just can't stop posting today... that's a nasty habit, huh? But seriously, some news from the homefront.
So my nextdoor neighbor, Casey, invited me over for dinner today! I wonder how it's going to go... hopefully it'll end up well. Despite, you know, being mortal enemies with her dog robot roommate, Skullbuggy. Then again, we're not so much mortal enemies, but... well, we're not even enemies anymore.
How existential.Mood: contemplating
Tunes: Reptilia - The Strokes
3. Christmas thinking - 12.14.08
Just a little tidbit... I've been wondering about what I want for Christmas this year. I was thinking of getting one of those Nintendo Wii things, but I'm still not sure. If you want, you can tell me in the comments... I should get back to you. Maybe one of you can get me something... *winks*
Mood: festive
Tunes: Have a Holly Jolly Christmas - That Snowman from Rudolph
2. Errands and such - 12.14.08
I figured I should probably write a real entry today, rather than just an introduction. It seems a bit amateur not to. Plus, I've gotta get some writing practice in, am I right?
Anyhow, today Number Two had me go out and buy some parts for a new weapon he's building... some sort of death ray I think. We all know how those never work, though, so I just spent all my money on stuff for me and told him they were out of particle generators He's such a dope. ... It's probably not a good idea to talk about him behind his back, especially on the World Wide Web, but I just can't resist!
So I got some nice things today--mostly CDs and stuff. Given that he gave me hundreds of dollars, I naturally splurged on some expensive things--like a new iTouch. It's so cool--you touch it to control it! ... Of course, that's kinda obvious, but still! I also bought some music to put on there, and I'm listening to it right now.
Mood: shopping spree!
Tunes: Monsters - Matchbook Romance
1. New blog - 12.14.08
Well, I got a blog. My boss has been really stressing me out lately, what with all the villainous work I've got to do, so I figured the best place to vent would be a blog. I hope you all like it... I mean, it's just been made, but I still think it looks good. I like the colors, at least. Peace.
Mood: stressed out
Tunes: Burning Down the House - The Talking Heads
