1-Up Emails/recap

Recap

This is a recap of the original 1-Up Emails show, for anyone who wants to attempt to make sense of it.

Season 1: Tampo's Future World

During this season, the 1-Up/Tampo Emails Crossover occured.

This season of 1-Up Emails are considered "the lost emails" and cover emails 1-50. During the original purge of the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki, these emails were removed as they were not labeled properly.

In the original 1-Up Emails, 1-Up was just casually answering emails from fans in a similar style to most email shows, sometimes in Stinkoman HQ, but mostly at his own house where he lived with Homestar Runner, his creator. In his first ever email, 1-Up (then known as "Kidstar", prior to the reveal of his name in Stinkoman 20X6) gets Strong Bad's old Lappy 486 when Stinkoman gives it to 1-Up. 1-Up recieves a "membership coupon" to enter the "fine society of morons and in fact become president". In this nonsensical email (normal for the time), 1-Up takes the coupon and uses it to enter the "moron's convention" where the 20X6 version of Strong Mad, Steel Man, is holding "morons" in a cage. 1-Up kicks a giant red button to free them, and then enjoys his day at the con as if nothing ever happened. There is a remake of these events in email 81, "extraman".

In the 20th email, "pudding factory", he invented a new holiday called "Pudding Day" and then proceeded to get a mansion from the mayor because of it. 1-Up's mansion had two swimming pools, servants and an in-built McDonalds.

Then, prompted by an email he'd been sent four episodes later, he stole Marzichan's wand (20X6 Marzipan/his sister) and was warped into the future year of 30X2 where Tampo, Stlunko and Brody were the leaders of the known world, Planet K (a plot point created by Tampo Emails). 1-Up met Ben and Ken, two Jaro twins that were built by Homestar Runner. However, Ben was with the rebellion and Ken was working under Tampo (the big floaty brain thing).

1-Up spends his time in 30X2, training with the 30X2 versions of Pan Pan (who can speak English), Stinkoman Marzichan, and Ben, who act as the rebellion against Tampo on their spaceship. However, 30X2 1-Up is evidentally missing while 1-Up is there, and when questioned about it, everyone just goes quiet. After a few more emails set in the future, 1-Up returns home to 20X6 with the intention of saving the future. He doesn't trust Tampo in the present. Especially after he gets captured by Tampo and thrown into a jail cell with the express intention of trying to turn him to their side (but later decide he is too annoying and stupid) 1-Up soon concludes that he should forgive Tampo.

I do not recall how this season concluded as those emails are missing. However, Sticklyman ended up being the big bad and in the end, 1-Up defeated him. At this point, Marzichan's wand is passed down to 1-Up for permanant safety. At some point during this season, after the 30X2 stuff but before the Sticklyman story arc, 1-Up was required to collect the seven talismans of power which had the symbols of classic Homestar Runner characters on them, and represented those specific characters belonging to their 20X6 self. The 20X6 characters then got together to combine their respective talismans and save the world... or something, I guess.

Season 2: Marzichan's Wand

Part 1 - 1-Up's Parents Death

During this season, the 1-Up/Gunhaver Emails Crossover occured. Also, during the start of this season, what was happening in Stinkoman Emails at the time was considered canon, so Stinkoman was locked away in another dimension.

1-Up and Homestar Runner lose their home and most of their money and are rendered homeless somehow. After a fight with Sticklyman and Sticklyman Jr., they talk about the supposed "X Gang" which consisted of a trio, Champion Z (The Shadowy Figure from the 20X6 game), Master Sticklyman and Master X. They stay at Stinkoman HQ where Strong Bad is when they find out Stinkoman has been kidnapped. 1-Up also learns of a being known as "The Dark Elf" who previously owned Marzichan's amazing wand of amazingness. 1-Up also has to defeat the "five greatest challengers of 20X6" named Orano, Alpha, Delta, Yuta and Omega... as well as Beta.

Meanwhile, in the present, Sticklyman Jr. makes himself known as tries to take 1-Up down with a mechanical suit, briefly killing him and sending him to the after-life, but he soon comes back. In the present, the Ben and Ken robots that helped/tortured him in the future are built by Homestar as the future versions of them said they would. 1-Up and Marzichan's parents (Homestar Runner and Marzipan) also die at the hands of a mysterious guy named "Orano", who looks like a silver Enker from the Mega Man games and has the ability to control the dead (zombies). He is also a zombie himself (the hell?). This is also when 1-Up is first referred to as "the chosen one". In a battle with 1-Up, he wastes four powerful "insta-kill" lightning rods on 1-Up (by throwing them and missing him both times). He is quoted as saying "there are only four in the world and I wasted one on Stinkoman and one of Tampo". He is also said to be "the weakest of the five best fighters of 20X6, but still pretty strong".

This next bit may start to sound like an anime, but... oh, who am I kidding? It's all anime! So, Strong Bad and 1-Up get into a friendly wrestling match in an arena, when suddenly Orano, the demon king, jumps in and attacks with a sword. 1-Up dodges gracefully and then commands pudding to come flying from the sky, which sure enough, it does. Orano dodges all the pudding coming at him, as it essentially rains pudding and he rips 1-Up's red shirt with his sword, cutting him ever so slightly. 1-Up says such great one-liners as "I have fate on my side!" and "I am going to risk using this attack, but it could kill me", meanwhile shooting "energy blasts" at this Orano character. After declaring that "it is a risk he is willing to take", he loudly shouts "HA-DO-KEN". Everything lights up like a Christmas tree, as there is a huge explosion. Once the smoke clears from the huge anime explosion, 1-Up finds that he has trapped himself in The Negative Zone, with Orano nowhere to be seen. However, he assumes he has trapped Orano in the Negative Zone as well.

"By the power of the Dark Elf, I banish you to the shadows forever!" -1-Up

Part 2 - Gunhaver Email Crossover

1-Up is now in the Negative Zone. A few emails later, Ekerbsy (from Stinkoman 20X6's glitch level), the fridge monster abomination, infects 1-Up's mind and sends him back in time to Gunhaver Emails' time period (2005). This leads into the Gunhaver/1-Up crossover, in which 1-Up was registered as a Cheat Commando. Gunhaver attempts to kill 1-Up, when an email he is sent asks him to do so and then 1-Up tries to do the same to Gunhaver. 1-Up also attempted some missions with the Cheat Commandos and failed for the most part. Ben, who was stowed away in 1-Up's back-pack when he went back in times, delivers a holographic recorded message from 1-Up's parents, in which Marzipan refers to him as "the chosen one" again. Homestar sings about bread in said message.

1-Up and Gunhaver comes to the conclusion that they can indeed rescue 1-Up's parents from being killed, because they are in the year 2005. 1-Up decides to go the past Homestar and Marzipan and tell them about what is going to happen, but they do not listen.

Dark Stinkoman, the Stinkoman clone that 1-Up first created in the afterlife (what?), gets back to Earth (via, elevator... yes) and then uses 30X2 Pan Pan's time machine to find 1-Up back in 2005, in order to seek revenge. Dark Stinkoman then kidnaps 1-Up and forces him to travel forward in time to the year 20X6 to go to the Lunar Warehouse (the dwelling of Tampo, Stlunko and Brody by this point of the story), steal Stlunko's fists and use them to destroy Tampo. He fails... obviously. Why would you trust someone as incompetant as 1-Up? 1-Up then goes back to the Cheat Commandos HQ where Dark Stinkoman states "I shall let him claim victory over the 'Five 20X6 Fighting Elite'. When he becomes the best, I'll strike. But for now, I'll just wait in the year 20X6." Obviously, followed by maniacal laughter.

By email 72, people are just randomly time traveling for the sake of it. 30X2 Ken shows up and tells 1-Up in 2005, "I'm here to kill you for mentioning our leader's name" (Tampo) and 1-Up just respondes with a "it's 2005, that law doesn't exist yet". Ken just squints his eyes like, "okay, you win this round" and leaves! Oh my gosh. I can't stop laughing.

Gunhaver and Reynold go to Prance on a mission to defeat The Fire "Demon Cheat", who is one of the seven demon "The Cheats" created by an ancient The Cheat. Then he confronts another "demon Cheat" over the "gem of the gruzzles" and that is how he finds out he can use Marzichan's wand to retrieve his lost powers (or something). In a flashback, it is revealed that 1-Up lost most of his powers after the Stinkoman 20X6 game due to amnesia (and he also temporarily thought his name was Kidstar, because when he awoke, Stinkoman called him "just a kid").

There is also an orb called "the time paradox orb" that holds all of time and space within it and appareantly shatters if their is too much pressure from a potential paradox. Blue Laser and Dark Stinkoman are after this orb at the same time, as Blue Laser wants to own the world, whereas Dark Stinkoman wishes to destroy it. Steve, in the present, gives it to 1-Up to take back to the future with him. Through much calculation, Reynold is able to open a portal back to 1-Up's time, but they are attacked by "Dark Stinkoman" at the last second who is an evil version of Stinkoman (like Shadow to Sonic or Dark Link), later revealed to have been built by an alternate future version of 1-Up when the real Stinkoman went missing. Reynold, Gunhaver and the Cheat Commandos have opened up the portal back to the future. It is a race against the clock, but 1-Up manages to defeat Dark Stinkoman, says his final goodbyes to the Cheat Commandos and heads back to the future with only a few moments to spare before the portal closes once and for all.

During "Extraman", an email that takes place back in 20X6 while 1-Up is still with the Cheat Commandos, Stinkoman answers one of 1-Up's emails, leading to a flashback that recreates the events of the first ever 1-Up email and then connecting those events to 1-Up's amnesia and think his name is "Kidstar", as well as attempting to loosely tie it to the events of the Stinkoman 20X6 game.

Part 3 - Back To The Future

Upon returning, 1-Up has to defeat Ekersby, the one who sent him into the past in the first place. After fighting off against a "noob" named Bob and a bunch of mutant cabbages, he deuces Ekersby in the fridge while his door is open and defeats him. Ekersby repairs itself slowly as the "Shadowy Figure" (from the Stinkoman 20X6 game) tells Ekersby that he wants to get "the dark elf" and that he needs Ekersby's help to do so. "You don't want to end up like Yuta, do you?" is his ominous and vague threat. Upon defeating Ekersby, he is able to return back to his home. Still no sign of Orano. Assumed dead.

1-Up returns to his old mansion, which has evidentally been repiared in the time he was away. From his back-pack, he takes out a robot version of Sherlock from the show "Sweet Cuppin' Cakes" called Sherlock 3000 and proceeds to tell him to start a new version of Sweet Cuppin' Cakes for 20X6 audiences set in the mansion. Sherlock 3000 also takes the "time paradox orb" with him (assumably for protection)... which would probably explain why the mansion turns into the warped world of Sweet Cuppin' Cakes, if the orb has time and space altering properties. 1-Up then goes to Stinkoman HQ where he meets up with Stinkoman and Marzichan, where Marzichan officially passes on her wand to 1-Up once and for all, explaining it's mystical powers and that it came from The Dark Elf. Stinkoman lets Marzichan and 1-Up live in Stinkoman HQ for the time being, and Stinkoman officially "fires" his brother, Steelman (20X6 Strong Mad) as his "challenge partner".

1-Up then recieves an email telling him that it is "fun to swim in lava" and 1-Up agrees to go do so, meeting Nebulon (the sender of the email) in the Lava Zone. Nebulon reveals that his name "NEB-1", as an "evil spirit" called PEB-1 merged with an aging Nebulon's original form and they combined to form NEB-1, in order to keep Nebulon alive. NEB-1 also has "glass eyes" since his and 1-Up's last fight on the moon, so 1-Up can't destroy them as easily (wouldn't that make them easier to shatter?)

In a nearby graveyard, a portal opens which Orano emerges from, beaten up after his an 1-Up's "epic" battle from earlier in the season. He has suffered the Negative Zone's torture for long enough, and finds that being there has effected his ability to call on and control the dead, so the zombies of the night turn against him. However, Dark Stinkoman comes out of nowhere and saves Orano, cutting him a deal. Dark Stinkoman essentially says that he could kill Orano now, or they could work together to defeat 1-Up and reclaim Orano's position as the fifth strongest fighter of 20X6. 1-Up then recieves an email that prompts him to get what they call "pudding armor", which doesn't actually exist in 20X6, but will be invented by 1-Up in 20X9. 30X2 Pan Pan comes back in time and gives 1-Up the "pudding armor" to inspire him to make it. It allows him to fire flaming pudding at his enemies, which he has to do when an army of zombies, shadow creatures and wizards begin approaching Stinkoman HQ. It should be noted Stinkoman stands there and does nothing to help while this is going on.

In email 88, "top secret", Dark Stinkoman tracks down Sticklyman who explains how he came back to life after being killed off at the end of email 50. Appareantly, Orano brought Sticklyman back to life as a zombie and now Orano is asking Sticklyman to return to favour as Orano doesn't have a body. Orano is currently holographic virtual representation of his soul, rather than the real thing. Dark Stinkoman demands a body for Orano from Sticklyman, and the three also agree to steal "Project Ken" from 1-Up, the yet-to-be-activated robot twin to 1-Up's pal, Ben. Ken is a villian in 30x2, in case you forgot. The trio also want to get Marzichan's wand (renamed "The Dark Elf Wand").

The next email comes and Sticklyman crashes into Stinkoman HQ demanding "Project Ben 2.5" (also known as, Ken). 1-Up prepares for battle with the "Ben Support Unit" as Ben runs toward 1-Up and latches on to him like a type of body armor, helping increase his speed and fighting ability. Then after a flashback to 1-Up's time in 30X2, he remembers 30X2 Pan Pan telling him that the future version of him was hung for refusing the give over Ken. 1-Up relunctantly lets Sticklyman take it, to avoid a grim future. After this, Dark Stinkoman goes to a local graveyard to get a new body for Orano. 1-Up finds out about this and attempts to stop him, however, he finds that Dark Stinkoman is still a lot stronger than he is and easily knocks out 1-Up.

Delta is introduced and he infects 1-Up's computer with a virus in the email, "digital infection". This virus is called the "Alpha Virus" and is a sentient virus that can develop and learn. The Alpha Virus had previously appeared in the email "virus" during 1-Up Email's first season. The Alpha Virus eventually takes on a physical form and zaps 1-Up into the year 30X2 where he sees Ken again. In the year 30X2, Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are no longer the leaders, so 1-Up concludes that something must have changed in the past. The robots are still equally confused and angered by 1-Up's presence in that time though. A figure in the shadows tells 1-Up to be careful of someone named "Bubusuke", who is established the first season as owning a shopping mall in 20X6. "He is a powerful force". 1-Up is also given "the last pudding of 30X2" and is told to protect it with his life. He then returns to 20X6, via a jetpack time machine that the dark mysterious figure gives him and he attempts toe stop The Alpha Virus, by smashing a hammer into the infected computer. The Alpha Virus stops him by convincing him that all of Planet K is now infected with the virus, and by destroying the computer, he'll destroy Planet K. 1-Up then wakes up in bed and finds out that the entire virus email was just a dream. But, he finds the pudding that the mysterious figure from 30X2 gave him lying next to him... so, was it really a dream?

Part 4 - Project Ken

This part covers the events of 1-Up Email 100, "project ken".

So, Sticklyman, Dark Stinkoman and Orano (who is now in a new body) are all standing around and talking about how Ken is going to be "the perfect robot". Sticklyman retrieves data files from Tampo about 1-Up, as he now knows that 1-Up was once studied by the brain, the bird and the bot (back during the Tampo Emails crossover) and it becomes very helpful information to Sticklyman and Dark Stinkoman. Dark Stinkoman then arrives at Stinkoman HQ, and demands the Dark Elf Wand that is in 1-Up's possession. Of course, 1-Up does not give it to Dark Stinkoman and a fight ensues. The orb attached to the Dark Elf Wand flies off and Dark Stinkoman takes it with his telepathy. Tampo grows suspicious of Sticklyman's association with Dark Stinkoman and decides to go to 1-Up, where he makes good on that deal they made in Season 1. "I wouldn't normally go to such a low-level idiot as yourself for help, but I'm afraid Sticklyman is unknowingly being forced to destroy all his minions." Tampo, Brody and Stlunko take 1-Up to the training room to unlock his "true power" where 1-Up comes face to face with Ultra Cyber Shadow, a black robot created to help Sticklyman kill Homestar Runner. Enraged, 1-Up starts glowing in black fames. His eyes glow red and he starts to blow up stuff just by looking at it. The whole room blows up and so does the Ultra Cyber Shadow, much to Tampo's pleasure as 1-Up is embracing his "dark side".

1-Up's shirt turns a purple colour and his star emblem turns into a skull. It is revealed that 1-Up's body has been taken over by Orano's spirit and 1-Up soon goes after Stinkoman and Pan Pan. 1-Up/Orano fights Stinkoman and Pan Pan for a while, and as the battle grows more intense, they conclude they cannot defeat 1-Up, so they just have to play to his stupidity. 1-Up has a flashback of himself and Stinkoman building a snowman, and "the power of friendship" and such is what snaps him out of it. Stinkoman still gets a few hits in, despite the fact 1-Up is back to normal at this point. 1-Up has a deep and meaningful talk with Tampo about why he is going against his master, and Tampo explains that Sticklyman is only doing it out of a favour to Orano, but also fear. Suddenly, a giant mutant chicken with red eyes and a cape who calls himself "Nightmare" comes out of a portal and explains that he is the forger of and original protector of the Dark Elf Wand, and demanded an explanation from 1-Up as to why he wasn't protecting it. Nightmare also states that he is very old. "I am half immortal. I cannot age. But, I can be killed."

Nightmare then challenges 1-Up to a battle to see if he is truly worthy of protecting the Dark Elf Wand in his name. After a battle, which Tampo was not supposed to help with, but does anyway, Nightmare reveals that he was not always a mutant bird and that he was the original owner of Brody's egg that he sold to Stinkoman. Meanwhile, Sticklyman is calling on the Stinkoman 20X6 bosses to seek and destroy 1-Up. It is revealed that Orano has taken over Sticklyman's body (since leaving 1-Up's body), and is now commanding his minions against his will, much to Sticklyman's anger. The Liekand and The Ice Machine go up against Tampo, Brody and Stlunko and 1-Up goes ahead, as not to be slowed down. It is revealed atop the mountain that Orano (in Sticklyman's body still) was just after the Dark Elf Sword. 1-Up and Sticklyman (possessed by Orano) go head-to-head as Sticklyman uses his shovel to fend off and then push 1-Up out of the way so he can grab the sword. Appareantly, that was 1-Up's plan though, as the two guardians protecting the sword soon rise up and obliterate Orano/Sticklyman, and the other chases after 1-Up, when 1-Up took his chance to grab the sword and run off with it. (The guardians of the Dark Elf Sword are described as giant shadowy creatures).

When the guardian tells 1-Up that the chosen one prophecy was a lie and that he is too stupid to be worthy of the sword, 1-Up slices the guardian in half with the sword yelling at him to "shut up". The world underneath him then starts to shake and crumble. His reponse? "Uh oh. I think that my stupidity is bringing the end of the world".

Dark Stinkoman, Sticklyman and Orano come back, teleporting into what is dubbed "Dark Stinkoman HQ". Sticklyman explains that he didn't really die on the mountaintop, and that his Lunar Warehouse has become a mechanised utopia. Dark Stinkoman reveals that he is the real Stinkoman and that it is actually Stinkoman who is the copy. Stinkoman is obviously skeptical as Dark Stinkoman was initially a clone created by 1-Up from the original Stinkoman, but it turns out to be the opposite way around. After meeting up with Pan Pan, he and 1-Up soon find the lair where they are holding hostages, only to be approached by Sticklyman who has kidnapped Ben, and uses Ben's Support Unit capability to create his own armor. The description is: "Sticklyman grows a tiny bit bigger and he puts Ben on his back. Ben transforms into two giant spike-shaped wings. A jetpack and some gun grow on the wings and Sticklyman's hand morphs into a blaster. Sticklyman and Ben say the same thing and both their voices echoes when they talk. Their transformation is finished".

It is revealed that Orano still has control over Sticklyman's body and this is where Orano goes on a speech about how and why the "Dark Stinkoman being the original Stinkoman" works. So, appareantly, back in the original email where 1-Up got an instantly made Stinkoman clone in early-second season, that was actually the first version of Stinkoman ever created by Strong Bad who was activated and then deactivated back in 2009, because he couldn't make human-like emotions, unlike the second version of Stinkoman which is the one we would come to know and love. He also reveals that Ben is a trivial step in the goal of galactic conquest and that really it is Ken that is the pinaccle of achievement that they require. Ken is unlike any other robot ever built, and his destiny supposedly outweighs anything 1-Up has had to deal with thus far.

After another fight scene, 1-Up is rescued by Guntoshi and then he proceeds to find three robots under Orano's control, who are robots 1-Up had faces previously in email 16 named Quickbot, Metalfreak and Geminikid, based on their respective robot masters from the Mega Man games. (I do not remember writing that email, so I doubt I could elaborate any further.)

Sticklyman somehow breaks free from Orano's grasp and tries to destroy 1-Up himself. However, 1-Up convinces Sticklyman that he should be going after Orano for toying with his mind so casually. So, Sticklyman and 1-Up put their fight on hold. 1-Up meets up with Stinkoman again where Stinkoman explains that he knew all along that he had a prototype that ran away before Strong Bad built him. The "original" Stinkoman, as it were. He is just saddened by the harsh reality and feels he no longer deserves the title of "the guy".

Thinking it is all over, 1-Up sighs with relief -- but does not get a break. As Orano comes back, yet a third time, in the body of Homestar Runner with red glowing eyes. 1-Up refuses to fight Homestar and disrespect the memory of his father. Orano finally revealed to 1-Up something he was too stupid to realise. That Homestar Runner was not 1-Up's real father, and that 1-Up was a robot. Marzipan then comes in, defeats Orano with a straight-up kick, expelling Orano's spirit from Homestar's body. She gives one final inspirational speech to 1-Up and then carries off Homestar's body, saying they may never see each other again.

1-Up finally gets to the fortress and Dark Stinkoman unleashes his Jaro sidekick on 1-Up. 1-Up fights off the oddly overpowered Jaro and then defeats him. This leads to 1-Up chasing Dark Stinkoman out into the fields of the city, as it starts raining with the night sky in the background. Suddenly it is all dramatic. Ben reuinites with 1-Up and Ken activates for the first time. Dark Stinkoman activates the Ken Support Unit as 1-Up activates his Ben Support Unit and once both battle armors are readied, they begin the most epic of epicest battles that has ever graced glorified fan-fiction on the Internet. The make fatal hits at each other in slow motion and fire laser blasts and double deuces and the like. When 1-Up is beaten and looks like he is about to lose, Dark Stinkoman calls 1-Up "Kidstar", which enrages 1-Up to the point of retaliating with a foot to Dark Stinkoman's face. (1-Up hating the name "Kidstar" is a recurring gag now). He puts all his power into the Dark Elf Wand and blows it up to cause Dark Stinkoman massive damage. This defeats Dark Stinkoman and ends the final battle of 1-Up Emails' second season.

After all this, 1-Up and Stinkoman talk about what's next. 1-Up says it is better that the wand is destroyed for now as it was doing more harm than good and declares a fresh start for his email show with no more confusing storylines. 1-Up then decides to go to the Lava Zone to jump in a lava pit and end his powers for good. Stinkoman, knowing this to be a dumb idea, stops him at every turn in increasingly humorous ways. He hits his head on a platform and reverts back to his dumb self.

Delta, Alpha, Omega, Beta and Yuta (the ones who are considered to be the "powers that be" or the "puppeteers pulling the strings" of this series) are all at a long table in a dark room, having a meeting. They declare that big things are coming and they now have complete control over The Dark Elf. This is, of course, followed by maniacal laughter.

I need a drink after all that...

Season 3: Apocalypse Now

Part 1 - The Powers That Be

During this season, the 1-Up/The Unguraits Email Crossover occured.

Delta, Alpha, Omega, Beta and Yuta (yes, I really do list them all by name) spend the next few emails conversing over what the best way is to torture 1-Up and his email show. They also constantly break the fourth wall, referring to other wiki users and also have the power to send 1-Up to other universes at any time that they please. 1-Up spends a good majority of this time crying over losing his "chosen one" powers in email 100.

The Unguraits, as well as The Unguraits Pharoah, are working for the "powers that be" (that's just what I'm gonna call "Delta, Alpha, Omega, Beta and Yuta" from this point on). The powers that be send 1-Up to an alternate universe to torture him, but do not get the expected result. Funnily enough, the alternate universe characters in this email are written by Joshua. The implication being that 1-Up landed in the Tampo Emails universe. It is actually hilarious. It is email 102 and it is called "dimensional". Definitely check it out.

Part 2 - Story-Time

There is a remake of one of my favorite emails, email 24 "marzichan's wand" in the final episode of the third seasdon, email 130.

Man! Email 130, "story-time" is way too long to just recap in one sitting. I'm gonna have to read through this crazy crap another time.