(even if you aren't vegan)
1-Up Emails/email136
1-Up Email #136: "wikipedia"
Summary: 1-Up somehow has the idea planted in his head that not having a Wikipedia article means he doesn't exist. His friends try to calm him down.
Cast (in order of appearance): 1-Up, Stinkoman, Pan Pan, Mr. Extradude
Places: Stinkoman Headquarters Kitchen, Living Room, Mr. Extradude's Basement
Length: 168 Lines
Date: June 01, 2015
Transcript
{Cut to 1-Up eating pudding in his kitchen, as per usual. Stinkoman is eating a bucket of chicken.}
1-UP: So, what things have changed in the past five years?
STINKOMAN: Well, let's see-- a lot of challenges happened. A lot of fighting also.
1-UP: Ha-ha-ha. Yeah. I know you do that everyday. What big events have happened in the past half a decade that I don't know about?
STINKOMAN: Uuuhm, I don't know. Marzichan dated the Cheatball for a while, but that didn't really work out.
1-UP: Oh, okay. What else?
STINKOMAN: Well, Marzichan dated Steel Man for about a day or two. But that didn't last very long, as you probably could've guessed. Ha-ha!
1-UP: Man, my sister has been up to a lot lately. Well, what else has been happening?
STINKOMAN: Well, Marzichan--
1-UP: Not with my sister! Sheesh!
STINKOMAN: Oh. Umm... {long pause} Challenges and fighting?
1-UP: Ha-ha-ha. You're silly, Stinkoman. I'm gonna go check my email. {leaves}
STINKOMAN: Okay! If you need me, I'll be here with this bucket of chicken for a few hours! {shoves face into the bucket} Omnomonomnom!
{1-Up is sitting on a couch in Stinkoman HQ, with his mobile phone out.}
1-UP: {singing} Gonna chickity-chickity check my email!
{1-Up accesses his email app, and an email pops up on the screen.}
1up, Make a Wikipedia article on yourself. Like NOW! --From a lazy Xbox One fanboy (with a bag of Doritos and Mountain Dew) P.S. Smoke weed everyday!
{1-Up reads through the whole email.}
1-UP: Wikipedia? What on Planet K is a Wikipedia?
{Stinkoman seeps in from the right side of the screen, as if on cue.}
STINKOMAN: Weeeell, Wikipedia is a product of the 21st century's need to archive and store tons of crap like... information and stuff.
1-UP: Waha! Oh, okay. So, why do I need a Werkerperdia article of myself on the 21st century archives?
STINKOMAN: Well, back then, there was like this-- preconcieved notion of sorts that if you had a Wikipedia article, you were somehow noteworthy.
1-UP: So, what you're saying is, if I don't have a Wikipedia article, I essentially don't exist?
STINKOMAN: Err, yeah. Something like that.
1-UP: Holy pudding! I need to get myself one of those Werkerperdia articles before I fade from existence! {kneels down and starts crying, as over-exaggerated anime tear drops come from his eyes}
STINKOMAN: Umm, I don't think that it's quite like that.
1-UP: No, no. You're the one who said it Stinkoman! If I don't get a Wikimedia article, I'm going to die!
{1-Up gets up and runs out screaming. There is a crash/bang sound and the camera pans over slightly to the right to reveal that 1-Up just smashed through the wall leaving a 1-Up shaped hole.}
STINKOMAN: {face palms and groans} Uuuurrgghh.
{Screen wipe. 1-Up is now in the field with the city buildings in the background. Pan Pan is standing next to a giant tree.}
1-UP: {runs up to Pan Pan} Waaaaaah! Pan Pan, it's terrible. I don't have a Wikipedia article! {jumps around the screen, into the foreground} What am I going to do? The good times are really over now!
PAN PAN: {making usual "badalang" sounds, with words subtitled} What are you talking about?
1-UP: I got an email from a lazy Xbox One fanboy, whatever that means, saying that if I need to make a Wookipoodia auort'icle aboig't myself! It sounded really urgent! He was all like-- NOW! You have to do it NOW, 1-Up!
PAN PAN: 1-Up. I haven't seen you in five years. Where have you been?
1-UP: You're right, Pan Pan! It isn't too late. I need to find a computer!
PAN PAN: Can't you read my subtitles?
1-UP: Haha! I can't read! {runs offscreen}
PAN PAN: You just did! Wait!
{Cut to a messy basement, with a seemingly fat and bearded version of 1-Up wearing a fedora and a brown coat with a green shirt underneath, sitting in a bean bag chair, playing Xbox and drinking Dorito flavored Mountain Dew while wearing a headset. 1-Up crashes in through the window, spin-kicking all the way.}
1-UP: Uncle Extradude! I need you computer! It's urgent!
MR. EXTRADUDE: What's up, nephew?
1-UP: I need to get myself a Wikipedia article. Can you do that?
MR. EXTRADUDE: Yeah, whatever. Easy as.
1-UP: Sweet.
{Mr. Extradude keeps tapping away at his Xbox controller, taking another long sip from his Mountain Dew bottle and not doing anything.}
1-UP: ...Well?
MR. EXTRADUDE: Sorry, little dude. I wasn't really... um... I wasn't really listenin-- {starts yelling into headset} HEY! F**KFACE! QUIT CAMPING! I'M GONNA TEAR OFF YOUR HEAD!
1-UP: Oh, nevermind. {starts to walk out} And take a shower. You smell awful!
MR. EXTRADUDE: Hold on, little dude. Wait! Hold it. I was kidding. I can help you. {takes off headset} So, you want a Wikipedia article? Why?
1-UP: {tearing up} Because if I don't! I'm going to die!
MR. EXTRADUDE: Why would you die?
1-UP: Because if I don't have a Wakipadia article, I don't exist!
{Mr. Extradude punches 1-Up in the back.}
1-UP: Ow! What the? What was that for?
MR. EXTRADUDE: You seem pretty real to me. Now, listen-- just because you are not noteworthy enough to archived in some online encyclopedia, it doesn't mean that you are worthless, little dude. It certainly doesn't mean that you don't exist, because as I have just shown you, you are clearly physically here! I mean, honestly, it seems like you've got no brain sometimes!
1-UP: {glowy eyes} Wow. That was really inspirational, Uncle Jeffrey.
MR. EXTRADUDE: That's not my name, and I wasn't trying to be inspiring.
1-UP: Well, thank you! I will go home now and found out the best way to become noteworthy-- maybe by becoming the guy too!
MR. EXTRADUDE: Oh brother...
1-UP: I'm not your brother! I'm your nephew!
MR. EXTRADUDE: It's a figure of speech!
1-UP: Okay, bye-bye. {1-Up goes to leave again}
MR. EXTRADUDE: Wait. Hold up... 1-Up. Does your sister have any like... cute friends?
1-UP: Ooooookaaaaay, leaving now!
{1-Up smashes through another window to leave, via spin-kick.}
MR. EXTRADUDE: Oh my god! I have a door you know! {long pause} And where have you been for the last five years?
{The Paper comes down from the top of the screen. It says: "To email 1-Up, click here."}
MR. EXTRADUDE: Who the heck are you?
Not So Fun Facts
Trivia
- Marzichan is the name given to 20X6 Marzipan who, in the original 1-Up Emails canon, was believed to be 1-Up's sister, as they were considered the children of Homestar Runner and Marzipan.
- The Cheatball is the 20X6 version of The Cheat, who has appeared in some Homestar Runner cartoons.
- Steel Man is the supposed 20X6 version of Strong Mad from the original 1-Up Emails.
- Wikipedia is a free-access, free content Internet encyclopedia on the Internet.
- Planet K is the name that was coined for the planet that Stinkoman 20X6 takes place on.
- Mountain Dew and Doritos have become brands associated with Microsoft's Xbox as an Internet meme due to an advertising campaign in 2012.
- Mr. Extradude is mildly inspired off of Mr. Cardgage, however with a strong influence on online male geek stereotypes.
