The RemolayRemadin Projects/Eyeless

Hey guys! I just talked to the writer and I'M GONNA BE IN THIS EPISODE! You remember me, right? What do you mean who am I? Can't you read my nameta- Where's my nametag?

Transcript

{Open on remolay gathering his things from the night before, Remadin and the Marks brothers are having a conversation off screen}

TRI: That's ridiculous, If you killed the Demon Retconnicus he shouldn't have had time to change you!

REMADIN: We were in the middle of conversation. He didn't notice until Remolay said something.

{Remolay picks realizes something is slightly off and puts his hands at his hips. Cut to Remadin, Tri, and Elipses}

ELIPSES: Well that makes as much sense as a demon with the power to change the entire world at their whi-

{Remolay screams}

REMADIN: Oh for the love of- What's wrong now!

{Remolay storms out swords in hand, they are now Scimitars)

REMOLAY: Look at what he did to my babies! Changing ME was bad enough, but my babies? We have to kill him again.

REMADIN: Oh sweet Valkyre we're never going to hear the end of this.

ELIPSES: What's the problem? Your scimitars look normal to me.

{Remolay gets up in Elipses face, Camera umps closer with each word.}

REMOLAY: They. Were. Fucking. KATANAS!

{cut to tri just sitting as he already was.}

TRI: Yeah okay shut up.

{Remolay looks at Tri and growls}

TRI: Just listen to me for a second. While you were fighting the Demon Retconnicus I was talking to our higher ups about your destiny. Mostly because we were only supposed to send you off on it, we actually have never had any idea what your quest was supposed to be

REMOLAY: Fucking knew it.

TRI: Yeah... Anyway, we haven't been getting anywere, so I've requested knowledge of your quest so that I can actually tell you what to do.

REMADIN: And their answer?

TRI: They said no and hung up. Did you know you can feel someone hanging up on your brain? Because it's happened to me twice now and neither one was pleasant.

REMOLAY: Hey, that "call" wasn't pleasant for me in the first place. Do you know what it's like to be suddenly put into a tr-

{Smash cut to a black screen, text appears saying "Remolay? Remadin? It's Valkyre..."}

REMADIN: Wha... Are you the "Higher Ups" Tri was talking about?

{Text changes to "Yes"}

REMOLAY: Wait, Tri and Elipses had a direct line to our motherfucking Goddess and never told us?

{Text changes to "They weren't allowed to, Remolay. But they screwed up everything else so I thought I'd save them the trouble"}

REMOLAY: Does that mean I can ditch those assholes?

{Text changes to "No, shut up and let me speak"}

REMOLAY: Sorry ma'am.

{cut to the real world, Tri and Elipses are watching Remolay and Remadin in a trance}

ELIPSES: So I take it she didn't tell you she'd contact them directly?

TRI: When does she tell us anything useful!?

ELIPSES: When do we listen?

TRI: ... Shut up!

{Cut back to the black screen. The text now says "You have been wandering aimlessly and made almost zero progress. I was hoping you'd get Retconnicus to fix the problem to save time but you screwed that up too"}

REMADIN: What if killing Retconnicus was part of our destiny.

{Text changes to "Then you'd still be elves. Remadin, has it occurred to you that your village WASN'T supposed to be destroyed and you were supposed to stay there?"}

REMADIN: More often than you'd think, Goddess. I'm just too far caught up in this now to turn back.

{Text changes to "Indeed. Now all of your destinies are intertwined due to Elipses' fuck up. You all need to travel to defeat "The Eyeless"}

REMADIN: You can't mean S-

{Text abruptly changes to "NEVER SPEAK HIS NAME"}

REMOLAY: Valkyre, you cannot send me on this quest. S-... The Eyeless even scares me... Where are his eyes!? WHERE ARE HIS LEGS!?

REMADIN: He was banished long ago. Did someone summon him?'

{Text changes to "Yeah... about that... Your banishing magic wasn't very strong back then"}

REMADIN: I always questioned using kids to banish him.

{Text begins to change. Get's to "The adults we" before Remolay interupts}

REMOLAY: I'm getting tired of reading, can we do this face to face?

{Remolay and Remadin appear in a replica of Remolay's old home in the village, across a table from a tall beautiful elven woman}

VALKYRE: If we must. As I was saying... The adults were even more terrified of The Eyeless. Sending the children was stupid. Irrational. Dangerous. but they were stupid, irrational, and dangerous.

REMADIN: Yeah, that explains a lot.

REMOLAY: Shut up, brother.

{Valkyre summons an image of a snow white man with no eyes, a constant smile, and no legs floating through a mystical tunnel}

REMOLAY: Oh holy shit!

REMADIN: He hasn't escaped?

VALKYRE: Not quite yet, my child. He has broken his cage, but the mind dungeon can hold him for a bit longer. This tunnel is the path to his escape, and once he does the world will be in grave danger. You must prevent him from-

REMOLAY: Escaping, yeah I get it. How did you expect me to get to him on my own?

VALKYRE: I didn't. I was going to say wreaking havoc on the world. destroying everything in his path. You can't prevent him from escaping.

REMADIN: One question. At some point Tri and Elipses directed us towards a village that Remolay destroyed. Where does that play into this?

VALKYRE: Ah yes, The Greeter. He was a powerful warlock. Killing him delayed The Eyeless' return to our realm.

REMOLAY: And the rest of the village?

VALKYRE: Innocent Bystanders. It's you, Remolay. It can't be helped sometimes.

REMOLAY: And now I have to kill Sombaf.

VALKYRE: REMO- dammit.

{The image of the eyeless turns towards Remolay and smiles}

SOMBAF: Oh hey, It's been a long time! You ready to be part of my world? It's gonna be great!

{Remolay and Remadin start screaming. smash cut to them in front of Tri and Elipses, their trance breaking and them screaming. Tri and Elipses freak out}

ELIPSES: Guys! Guys! Calm down! What did she show you!

REMOLAY: The.. The eyeless... I spoke it's name... It looked at me...

REMADIN: It spoke of it's return in that horrifyingly gleeful voice.

TRI: We have to kill The Eyeless? Oh hell no.

MORE CONTINUATION LATER. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT THE MOMENT