(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "The Choom Gang Riffs Noxigar's Riffs of The Choom Gang's Riffs/mft3kmain/Bell Quest"
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Latest revision as of 22:19, 6 February 2011
NOXIGAR: Prepare for...wait, if you hate it so much, why are you advertising the original?
SKUB: Well, if you must know, we always have a link to the original if you want to, for some horrible reason, read the original without our witty commentary. Sort of like watching Manos without the MST3K guys? I guess?
Host Segment 1
{Open up to the concession and tickets room. Chwoka walks in from the side, then jumps and turns.}
CHWOKA: Oh, hey, the camera's finally working. Just in time, too!
BLUEBRY: So, Chwoka, mind explaining to everyone what we're going to do?
CHWOKA: I honestly have no idea, but it apparently has something to do with fried brains...and movie theaters.
NOXIGAR: Your plan is to make similar moves to the geniuses that were in Mystery Science Theatre 3000, but instead of finding legitimately awful movies you just distort other people's fanstuffs to your own whims.SKUB: Did you even read Bell Quest? Really?
BLUEBRY: well if you're trying to be like rifftrax, which often riffs critically acclaimed hollywood movies, then thank you
{Pan: left. Behind the concession camper, pops up Dr. Brainfreeze}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes, this is a bit of a....{eyes dart the room. Hands are put together and rubbed} psycology experiment {chuckles}
NOXIGAR: {imitating Dr. Brainfreeze} Dr. Forrester would have sued us if we spelled psychology correctly, so we removed the "h" due to lack of understanding phonetics.SKUB: Chwoka's just shitty at typing. There is literally no ulterior motive.
CHWOKA: oyou SHUTT UP[
CHWOKA: Wait a minute, you're Dr. Brainfreeze! {pause} I thought ice was your-
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Hey, I'm a doctor also!
NOXIGAR: Oh, yeah? Where's your Ph.D, "doctor"?
BLUEBRY: Righto, can we start this ho or what?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: You actually want to?
CHWOKA: {uncaring of what Bluebry is saying} Wait, where's Skullbuggy?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Frozen.
BLUEBRY: He's a dumpface, let's start this now so I can vomit and go home.
NOXIGAR: Nope, Skullbuggy is a decent Wiki user who probably had better things to do at the time.SKUB: Skullbuggy is a huge dork and if I meet him in real life I'm kicking his ass.
DR. BRAINFREEZE: You're not going home.
BLUEBRY: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
NOXIGAR: {laughing} Even I know spelling "what" incorrectly isn't worth it for humour. Or stretching it out. You could at least capitalize it, or make it bold.
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Well, if I let you go, you could recuperate. Plus, I wouldn't be able to monitor you.
CHWOKA: ...frozen?
{Bluebry turns blue}
NOXIGAR: I WAS FROZEN TODAY!
CHWOKA: You monster! You made Bluebry sad!
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {turns to the audience} We'll be right back.
CHWOKA: Oh, we're on TV too!?
{end segment}
{fade in. Chwoka patting a very cold SkullB, who has a hot cocoa and a blanket.}
CHWOKA: There we go, buddy.
SKULLB: So it turns out I wasn't able to do the Polar Plunge. The damndest thing, right? ... Oh, wait. No. That's not right, is it?
NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY!SKUB: Oh ho ho ho I was such a funny piece of shit.
CHWOKA: No. You were shoved in a minifridge. That is not the polar plunge.
{Dr Brainfreeze enters, scribbling down on a notepad.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {muttering} Polar Plunge, must remember that.. {puts the notepad away and enters a military stance.}
NOXIGAR: {imitating Dr. Brainfreeze} I just love stealing ideas from my test subjects. It's better than stealing ideas from a good television show!SKUB: You should tell yourself, it's just a parody you should really just relax
I suppose you...three? Where's Bluebry? He needs to hear this.
CHWOKA: In the bathroom.
{Bluebry returns}
BLUEBRY: They have foam soap and it is magnificent.
NOXIGAR: Specifics are important.SKUB: As you've made us so painfully aware of in the past.
NACHOMAN: IN VIRIDIAN FOREST THE CATCH RATE FOR WEEDLE IS I CHECK YOU CHECK
SKULLB: Really? I love that stuff! ... So who's this old person again?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: How do you not know me? I'm Dr. Brainfreeze - famous supervillian!
BLUEBRY: Where did you receive your M.D.?
NOXIGAR: Ph.D! Ph.D!SKUB: He's an M.D. Medical doctor. He probably went to Dartmouth Hitchcock or something.
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Once I discovered the cure for aging, I went to every college in the United States and a couple across the pond. Would you like to read my- Why am I making small talk with my lab rats!?
NOXIGAR: Because that's what Dr. Forrester does.SKUB: Well to be fair, we did just copy MST3K wholesale which is why the character of Skullbuggy is a golden spider monkey.
CHWOKA: Your laboratory is a very smelly theater?
SKULLB: Speaking of, do you have any popcorn? Like, with the yellow goop that smells like butter?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Ah, movie popcorn. Which brings me to my next point - movies. Our experiment is about the worst fanfics on the HRFwiki community.
CHWOKA: But that doesn't make much se-
DR. BRAINFREEZE: It's also about isolation. Today's experiment is called "Bell Quest", a fanstuff full of in-jokes and bad composition.
CHWOKA: Are they searching for a bell?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes, and that bell is also a cat.
SKULLB: What would you call a furry bell? A bellie?
NOXIGAR: Ba dum tish.
CHWOKA: Oh god, furries.
DR. BRAINFREEZE: You know what's worse than furries?
NOXIGAR: Movies you could be riffing instead, such as (500) Days of Summer, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Valentine's Day, incredulously stupid shit that does not justify its own existence.SKUB: Like Bell Quest.
CHWOKA: What?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Get into the theater.
NOXIGAR: DO IT NOW.
SKULLB: Oh, alright. Be that way.
{end segment}
MOVIE
{Chwoka walks in, carrying SkullB. He sets him down to his left.}
CHWOKA: Everything's better with poop!
SKULLB: Here's a tip for all you aspiring comedians--add exclamation points! They're funny!!!!
BLUEBRY: Except cyanide capsules, the output is still the same. Speaking of which, where did I put them...
Welcome to Bell Quest. No, it ain't a interactive game.
CHWOKA: And ain't ain't a word.
NOXIGAR: If Raiku can find "ain't" in a dictionary it's already impressively asserted.SKUB: Oh I do hope I'm not the only one who was completely lost by this sentence.
BLUEBRY: the pronoun "it" is not referring to anything so thats why skub
It's just a fanfic by belstrnnmmvnmn & Badstar
BLUEBRY: I'd rather it be an interactive.
SKULLB: {imitating Bell} Eeeeeh, it's just a fanfiiiiic.
SKULLB: AAH WHAT IS THAT
NOXIGAR: A .PNG file. What did you think it was?SKUB: The Mouth of Hell. Give me some credit, here!
Chappies
- Chapter 1: Idiots To The Rescue
- Chapter 2: On The Road
- Chapter 3: Anti-Bling Attacks!
- Chapter 4: Alone
NOXIGAR: OH SHIT NOT THE FRIEND ZONE. I ALREADY HAD TO RIFF IT LAST TIME.
NOXIGAR: Foreveralone.jpgSKUB: HAHAHANA WHAT IS AIR!!!!!!!!
Host Segment 2
NOXIGAR: I swear if it's just Im a bell yelling, "I'm a whiny little peach" I will go all the way to the end and- Oh wait. This isn't Chwoka's originally. I don't have to worry about that.
NOXIGAR: Now's not the time...to rhyme.SKUB: All your rhymes are federal crimes.
Host Segment 3
DVD Version
- All of Bell Quest. Except the outside of movie parts.
- Outtakes
NOXIGAR: Mystery Science Theatre 3000 did not have outtakes. They riffed things in the form of improv.NACHOMAN: WELL THEY ACTUALLY HAD A SCRIPT
NOXIGAR: A commentary within a commentary! That's- Oh wait, I'm going that.
Host Segment 4
{Noxigar adds a {/blockquote} before anyone notices}SKUB: Thanks for that! Have a blessed day in Christ :^)
