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Latest revision as of 21:20, 10 August 2016

Summary

Kirbychu empties his inbox. The Omega dies.

Cast (in order of appearance): Kirbychu, X On Fire

Places: Kirbychu's Lab

Date: June 29, 2008

Transcript

{Cut to Kirbychu sitting at his broken laptop. He is in his lab.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Since my house is being rebuilt, I'm stuck in my lab.

LIGHTNING GUY: Cool! I'll just sit here not caring, then. Continue.

Time to clean my inbox! {opens Outlook Express}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: No. DELETE! {deletes email}

LIGHTNING GUY: Now that I think of it, he actually does.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: My copy's fine.

LIGHTNING GUY: IT JUST IS
NOXIGAR: I think if it had any known defects, a spambot would be the last thing Kirbychu trusted.

DELETE! {deletes email}

LIGHTNING GUY: This is officially the greatest email I've ever seen.
NOXIGAR: I think exactly the opposite when I see that same statement. I would imagine Homsar would not write as he would talk.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: ...No. DELETE! {deletes email} This is fun!

LIGHTNING GUY: You psychopathic monster.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I didn't order a thunder stone. DELETE!

LIGHTNING GUY: You're terrible at this.
NOXIGAR: I don't see how. He's answering bad e-mails, giving it a once over, and then deleting them. That's basically what a "spring cleaning" translates to.

{Kirbychu deletes email.

LIGHTNING GUY: You can't delete email. Email will be with us forever. {menacing} Foreverrr.

The screen sparks and goes black. Blue goop comes out of some cracks.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: That's not a good sign. To the lab! Wait, I'm already here...

{Kirbychu opens up the computer, revealing that the wires connecting the screen to the main system are charred and broken. There are also many other broken parts.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: That's gonna be hard to fix. {attempts to work on the computer, gets zapped} OW! {the screen turns on} Okay... how did I do that? On second thought, I don't care as long as the computer stays working until at least email number 10.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's when he planned to send himself a virus
NOXIGAR: This would have been clever if a 10th email actually existed.

and keep the audience of the edge of their friggin' seats.

NOXIGAR: If Kirbychu's 10th e-mail episode had been planned to involve a virus at any point, I'd just roll my eyes.

{works on computer with plastic tools and tape} That should hold it for now.

{The DS comes down.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Why are you coming down? This email's not over yet!

LIGHTNING GUY: How nice to know.

{The DS goes back up.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Good.

COMPUTER: {robotic voice} Kirbychu. I don't feel so good. I'm burnt, and sparky. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

LIGHTNING GUY: That doesn't mean anything. Computers can't think.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: NO! Don't die! It's only email 7!

LIGHTNING GUY: YOU WILL GET THAT VIRUS!

COMPUTER: I would need some serious repair just to have a chance to live.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I can fix you!

LIGHTNING GUY: I can fix you nine times!

COMPUTER: You don't have the technology to fix me.

LIGHTNING GUY: So suck on that, you fat yellow lard.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Are you sure you won't live?

COMPUTER: Good bye Kirbychu...{powers down}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: NOOOOOOOOO!!! {cries}

LIGHTNING GUY: It's alright. You'd have never even gotten me close to the edge
NAMINE: Is there anything that would get Lightning Guy close to the edge?
NOXIGAR: No. I'm under the impression that Lightning Guy's Tea Party-ness will forever keep him repulsive to anyone. I'm pretty sure even other extremist Republicans would find him to be trash.
of my seat, anyway.

{X On Fire walks in.}

X ON FIRE: What's going on?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: The Omega died...

LIGHTNING GUY: Then I suffered five rounds of epileptic shock.

X ON FIRE: That's to bad,

LIGHTNING GUY: As you can see, That took a wrong turn.

but it was just a computer.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: It was more than a computer! I loved it!

LIGHTNING GUY: It was my illegitimate son!

X ON FIRE: So put it in a special place, them beat up Homestar for causing the explosion.

LIGHTNING GUY: Them a rusty group of folk.

That should help.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Good idea.

{Kirbychu puts the Windows Omega in a cryogenic room.

LIGHTNING GUY: Last I heard, freezing a computer would just make it colder.

He then walks up to Homestar and beats him up.}

LIGHTNING GUY: It's completely his fault you have terrible cooking equipment.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I feel much better now! Now I just need a favor. Can I borrow your computer?

X ON FIRE: I would say yes, but the charger's broken and the battery's dead.

LIGHTNING GUY: I also don't like you very much.

You're an inventor, why don't you just build a new computer?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Good idea!

{The scene fades to show a silhouette of Kirbychu standing at a desk using a screwdriver on an unknown object.

LIGHTNING GUY: {whispering} It's his female parts.
NOXIGAR: Something in me wants to yell at him for a joke in awful taste.

NAMINE: Wouldn't it be a joke if it were possible to laugh at a transparently transphobic statement?
NOXIGAR: I can't really call it anything, then, since what was said wasn't a joke.
NAMINE: I feel like Lightning Guy's also been trying too hard with making fun of email shows, in general.

NOXIGAR: I concur.

The DS comes down.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Nice timing.

Trivia

  • This reveals that the Omega can talk.
  • This is the first email that the Omega was actually referred to by it's name.
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