Difference between revisions of "RiffText/BQ/4"

Latest revision as of 07:46, 6 December 2015

{Everybody is now on a path}

ANTI-BLING: Well, this is the path to the extremely spooky cliff.

BELLSON: Uhh... Guys? A diamondhead snake just bit my head and I feel kinda funny.

NAMINE: Diamondback snake, you mean?

VEGEROT: You'll be fine!

<--the setup!-->

NAMINE: Setup to what?

{Bellson starts foaming at the mouth. His eyes turn red.}

IM A BELL: Oh. F-

{Bellson bites Im a bell's neck. Im a bell falls over}

IM A BELL: Worst. Cousin. Ever. Badstar, take this-cough-Parsley Fruit... to my son.

NAMINE: You will eventually. His name'll be Tracy.

BADSTAR: You don't have a son!

IM A BELL:{angry} Well, take it to Bling! oh, and, get the Exploding Nose elexir

NAMINE: Exploding Nose elixir? Is that another Shonen Jump reference going over my head?

to bring me back to li-{dies}

BELLSON: W-wha hoppen? Uhh... cuz? Oh, I see you're busy being dead. Carry on. Wait a minute... DEAD!?!?! AUGGGHHHHH! {Runs around and crashes into a tree. The tree falls on him and kills him. Vegerot's eyes widen}

VEGEROT: Uhh... What. The. Crap. Say, Pter, Kyubii, you guys haven't talked much in this fic. How come?

PTER: No idea.

NAMINE: How come Kyubii doesn't get a line?

{cut to Ll e bami & H44WP's base}

H44WP: Oh. Holy. Crap. Boss, Im a bell's dead!

LL E BAMI: Yes. I sensed that. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now my plan can really get in motion. Invert Bling will you?

{H44WP takes out invert ray. He hits Bling. Bling transforms into Professional Patch}

LL E BAMI: Excellent. Patch! Fuse!

{P.Patch fuses with one million Kopatches and Ll. They become an optimus prime with P. Patch's head (Watashi Wa Patchi)}

NAMINE: I am Patchi? "Watashi wa" just means "I am"

WATASHI WA PATCHI: Hm... excellent. Homsar44, make me some tea. This may take a while.

{Cut back to the path}

ANTI-BLING: Whuh-oh. We better hurry. Ll's already fused with Bling. Oh, by the way... did I tell you Ll's plan?

KYUBII: No, what?

ANTI-BLING: Did Im a bell ever tell you about his ultimate form, Pure Watashi?

NAMINE: Pure "I." {starts laughing} That has got to be the funniest name for an ultimate form ever.

VEGEROT: The name seems familiar...

ANTI-BLING: You see, Im a bell's ultimate form can only be reached with Bling. Im a bell inverts into Ll and Bling inverts into Professional Patch. Patch fuses with one million Kopatches to create Sugoi patchi,

NAMINE: Sugoi, of course, meaning Amazing. So, Amazing Patchi. This actually held some promise.

which then fuses with Ll. Is this too confusing for you guys?

BADSTAR: Oh yeah.

ANTI-BLING: Look, to um it up, Ll needs Bling to transform into his ultimate form, Demon Bell, which can only be rekeased by fusing with Bling and pushing it until he's Pure Watashi

NAMINE: I'm going to assume Keith was trying to say "Pure Self," which in retrospect is an awesome name.

which, if the form is stayed in long enough, will transform into Demon Bell.

NAMINE: Now this stops making sense. How is Bell's 'pure self' a daemon?

BADSTAR: And I have to do all of this by myself?

ANTI-BLING: What? Look, first, you gotta journey to the Amazon for the Exploding Nose Elixir to bring Im a bell back to life.

BADSTAR: WHAT!?

ANTI-BLING: Jeez-DIDN'T YOU READ IM A BELL'S LAST LINE?!!! Look, I'l take you to the amazon, but I'm takin' everyone to Ll & H44's base, okay?

{30 MINUTES LATER...}

{Badstar is in the amazon}

NAMINE: The Amazon Kingdom? Amazon River? Amazon Witch Doctor? Where would this Elixir be?

BADSTAR:W00T! I have the elixir!

{a primitive human with a giant nose appears}

PRIMITIVE HUMAN: Ku-ra?!! C riii!!! Criii!!! Ka-ko-ru Criii!!!

{The human (Ju-ra) runs away. Anti-Bling voips in}

ANTI-BLING: Uhh... did you just see that?!!

BADSTAR: Just voip me out of here.

{100 of those primitive umans run to Badstar. they bow to him}

BADSTAR: What the?

ANTI-BLING: I think it has something to do with that!

{Anti-Bling points to a giant stone statue that looks suspiciously like Badstar}

BADSTAR: Wow, i'm a ruler! Big noses, get me a prawn shake.

NAMINE: Why wouldn't you just ask them to help you take down the bad guys?

JU-RA: J'ra krru, Criii!!!

{Ju-ra runs away}

ANTI-BLING: Hm... "Criii"... have they been calling you "Criii" a lot?

BADSTAR: Yeah, they have. What does it mean?

ANTI-BLING: they don't think of you just as their leader. "Criii" in Native Amazonian <--yes, I made this language up-->

NAMINE: Artistic license at its finest.

means, well, "Christ". they think you're their god! Oh, and "J'ra krru" means "right away".

BADSTAR: Where is that prawn shake?

ANTI-BLING: Right behind you!

{pan out to show a gigantic prawn shake behind Badstar}

BADSTAR: Yay!

{Ju-Ra runs torward Badstar screaming. He points to the sky. A big space rock is heading for the amazon.}

ANTI-BLING: It's okay! Its only a-SPACE ROCK?!!!!! Uhh... okay, calm down. Badstar, use your god powers. Oh, wait, you don't hsve any. CURSED POWERS DEEEUUUUUUUCE!!!!!!!

{Anti-Bling gives Badstar godly powers. LEVEL+1!}

NAMINE: I kind of imagine the Level +1 might have set Noxigar on an anger frenzy.

{Badstar destroys the space rock}

JU-RA: Criii! Chi-ti-de Criii!

ANTI-BLING: He said "Christ! Thank you, Christ!"

<--only one of them is named Ju-ra, not all of them-->

NAMINE: Thanks for clearing up the confusion.

BADSTAR: Well, lets go!

JU-RA: Criii? Ltu! Chjaragh! Kenei, Chjaragh!

ANTI-BLING: I think he wants to come with us. He said, "Christ? No! Don't go! Please, don't go!"

BADSTAR: People, I am sorry. But a time comes when you must manage on your own. Ju-ra, until I return you shall be the new christ! Goodbye, big noses. I will be back someday.

JU-RA: Ju-ra... CRIII?!!!! Chi-ti-de Criii!

{Anti-Bling and Badstar voip away}

{Cut to everybody hiding in the bushes in front of the base.}

ANTI-BLING: Oh Jebus. They've already reached Watashi Wa Patchi mode. They just need to reach Semi-Pure Watashi, Almost-Pure Watashi, Pure Watashi, then it's just a matter of time to Demon Bell.

NAMINE: Sounds like they can still stop the bad guys' plans dead in their tracks!

You got the elixir Badstar?

BADSTAR: YUP! Now all we have do is bring Im a bell and Bellson back to life!

{Badstar pours the elixer into Im a bell and Bellson's mouths. Bellson lives, but Im a bell explodes and regenerates}

IM A BELL: Oh lord. Uhh... Anti-Bling? W-what level is Ll at?

ANTI-BLING: Watashi Wa Pa-Crap. He's at Semi-Pure Watashi.

IM A BELL: Hmm... do you got any Parsley Fruit?

BADSTAR: CRAP! I knew I forgot something. Oh well, lets just go in there and fight!

NAMINE: Wait, why are you fighting?

{Cut back to H44WP and Semi-Pure Watashi staring at the monitor.}

H44WP: Well, this sucks. Hey, didn't we have a pit of giant mutant rats installed yesterday?

SEMI-PURE WATASHI: Yeah, I think your weird pet ate them all.

H44WP: That explains why it has five arms.

SEMI-PURE: Look, I just need two more transformations and then I just wait until I'm Demon Bell. You go stall them. Hmm... Okay, I'm Almost-Pure... I mean now!

H44WP: No need to! I re-installed the pit.

{They run away.}

{Everybody enters the base.}

BADSTAR: Where are they?

END OF CHAPTER 4!

NAMINE: Y'know, for something Noxigar claimed was really good, I'm not seeing why. On the other hand, I know at least the Chooms and Briar dislike Bell Quest; I don't really see why they hate it so much either.