RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/15

Summary

Bell and Bling battle eachother

BLUEBRY: This is like the fifth time I've had to say each other.

, soul reaper style.

Cast: Im a bell, Tracy, Doctor Octopus, Mature Bling, Sarah, Don Skull

Places: Bling's Kitchen, Rental Battlefield

Episode Information: 303-No Matter How Many Times You Deny It, His Power Level Is Always Over 9000

SKULLB: Ugh.

Insult: whiny parents

Credit Joke: The Brothers Chaps

Transcript

{open to Bling's kitchen. Bell is sitting there. Tracy walks in}

TRACY: Hey, dad? There was always something I wanted to ask you.

BLUEBRY: This feels so awkward.

IM A BELL: What?

TRACY: What was my mother like?

SKULLB: In bed

IM A BELL: In bed? Not as good as you'd think.

BLUEBRY: {retching} Oh god i knew it
SKULLB: FFFFF

NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY! YOU ASKED FOR IT!

TRACY: No, I mean what did she look like?

IM A BELL:{embarrased}

BLUEBRY: embarrassed

Oh! Uh, hehe. Ignore what I just said. Anyway, she had blue skin, blue hair, and green eyes.

SKULLB: Ah of course perfectly normal!!

TRACY: Huh. That explains my hair. I know none of your family had blue hair. Most had none at all. Any other abnormal features?

BLUEBRY: she had an extra leg

IM A BELL: Uhh... No, I don't think so.

TRACY: ...What kind of cold opening is THIS?

BLUEBRY: it's awful, so i say it represents the show fairly

IM A BELL: Dunno.

{pause five seconds. Doctor Octopus flies in}

DOC OCK: DOCTOR OCTOGONAPUS BLAAAAH! {fires his lazer}

SKULLB: AND YOU NEVER FAIL TO SURPRISE ME MR. BELLSTROM

NOXIGAR: I EXPECT YOU TO DIE MR. BELLSTROM

{cue theme song. cut back to Bling's kitchen. there is now a smoking hole in the floor.

BLUEBRY: I remember our old smoking hole from freshman year. We'd all go buy some cheap cigarettes from one of the juniors and smoke up in the smoking hole out back. That is, 'til my friend's parents got their septic tank fixed and they filled it in.

Everybody is there now. Doc Ock is gone}

IM A BELL: So, um...

MATURE BLING: Hey, Bell?

IM A BELL: What?

MATURE BLING: I challenge you to a fight. Soul reaper versus soul reaper.

SKULLB: Oh you asshole

NOXIGAR: Come on, baby. Don't fear the reaper!

IM A BELL: I accept your challenge. {transforms into soul reaper bell} You sure you don't wanna change your mind?

BLUEBRY: "Well, maybe tomorrow."

MATURE BLING: I'm sure.

SOUL REAPER BELL: Okay, then.

{cut to a battlefield not unlike the Tenkaichi Budokai battlefield}

SKULLB: Ah, the same battlefield I am so very familiar with

MATURE BLING: How'd you get this?

SOUL REAPER BELL: Rented it.

BLUEBRY: In Japan you can rent anything.

MATURE BLING: Ah.

SOUL REAPER BELL: Now then. {pulls out the golden zanpakuto} Freeze. ZURUI KIN!

BLUEBRY: "SUSSUDIO!"
SKULLB: ZA PIPES AAH BUROOO-KEN

NOXIGAR: THE PIPES ARE BAROQUE-HEN

{the golden sword breaks into blah, blah, blah. You've read it before.

BLUEBRY: Yep. It's all the same.

NOXIGAR: SPOOK CLIFF

When the statue splits in half, Bling is unharmed}

SOUL REAPER BELL: What? How'd you-

{Bling reveals the hole on his chest. He promptly transforms into Full Hollow Bling}

SOUL REAPER BELL: Oh. Right. Forgot about that. Well, since you'll be a hollow, then so will I. {breaks into back of head, pulls out own skull, and smashes it onto face. His skin turns white. His bell transforms into a skull. tentacles extend out from under it. Bell's clothes shed away, revealing a white Cthulhu-like body with a hole on his chest}

SKULLB: ARE WE DONE

NOXIGAR: NO. Otherwise this would be after a short.

FULL HOLLOW BLING: Eh? {in Hollow Language; "What the?"}

BLUEBRY: i don't speak hollow do you know spanish

HOLLOW BELL: Grrrrrrahehe! {"This is my hollow form!"}

SKULLB: I FRIGGIN HATE THIS {"This could use some work!"}

{from now on, it will be completely translated}

BLUEBRY: okay

FULL HOLLOW BLING: <Huh. Well, are we still going to fight?>

HOLLOW BELL: <But of course!>

BLUEBRY: Now imagine that line being spoken by a French chef.
SKULLB: Except he's been lobotomized with the same knife he uses to prepare steak.

NOXIGAR: Does this same chef also consume bottles of tranquilizers before his suicide mission?

FULL HOLLOW BLING: <Good.> {lunges at HB}

HOLLOW BELL:{dodges, forces arm through FHB's stomach}

FULL HOLLOW BLING: <AACK. GRRRR...> {picks up FB, flings him into the bleachers}

HOLLOW BELL: <RRRRRR... WITNESS! MY TRUE HOLLOW FORM!>

SKULLB: I want to smack you in the mouth

NOXIGAR: YOU FOOL! HOLLOWS DON'T HAVE MOUTHS... NOR DO THEY DIGEST THEIR FOOD

{body transforms into Ichigo's Bankai soul reaper uniform, but inverted and with a hole in the chest. the face-tentacles form shoulder armor} True Hollow Bell complete.

FULL HOLLOW BLING: <Oh gee. Um, I'll just do this then.> {transforms into Hollow Bling} There.

TRUE HOLLOW BELL: Hehehe. You just decreased your power.

HOLLOW BLING: No. I suppressed it. HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! {a red aura forms around him. he charges at THB}

{NOTE: The real Skully B. was so distraught at the completely batsh** madness going on that his brain decided on its own volition to spare him the insanity. He is now recovering.}

{Noxigar leaves to go get some tea.}

TRUE HOLLOW BELL: Whoa! {dodges, stabs hollow bling in the stomach}

HOLLOW BLING: AACK. Hmph. {pulls out zanpakuto} Control. SHUJIN! {the zanpakuto transforms into the two-sided Tensa Zangetsu. Hollow Bling starts spinning it, and slices THB in half}

TRUE HOLLOW BELL: AARGHHHH!!! {falls to the ground, transforms back into Bell, body reforms, stands back up} Hmph. You've won.

HOLLOW BLING: Good. {transforms back into Mature Bling}

IM A BELL: Umm... {looks at camera} This episode's over. G-go away.

BLUEBRY: Gladly.

{cue credits}