Conshow/56

Summary

Conchris and co. go
on an adventure to
stop this madness! Hah!

CAST (Not the final list): Writer, Conchris, Cruroar Goodwin, Cieeia Goldilin, Clark "Sirhcnoc", Greg the Yffulf, "Lord of Poems"

'isode in haiku.
Can't read it? Well, too bad mate!
Changing affects plot.

Transcript

{Open to the writer's room, the writer walks in and sits down on his desk, he sighs}

WRITER: Great, I can't wait to write for the Conshow for the year 2009 or something. {sighs} I just wish I had a good idea that wasn't touched on...

VOICE: {echo} Why don't you try something original with the lines?

WRITER: What? And not get it accepted on Wiki User TV? Those tightwads hate originality.

VOICE: {echo} No, you idiot. I mean, something like poems or something.

WRITER: Oh sure! I'm going to write about how Chrionroar goes to a poetry store and gets stuck in a verses contest.

{Pause for about two seconds}

WRITER: You know, that's not a bad idea. But what would make it more interesting?

VOICE: {echo, to itself} An idiot writes. / I just can't believe it now. / Why did I haunt him?

WRITER: That's it! An episode made almost completely out of haikus! Thanks voice in my head!

{Cut to Conchris' House - Living Room, Conchris and Cruroar are on the couch watching TV, Cruroar suddenly shudders}

CONCHRIS: Dude! What's wrong with you?

CRUROAR: I think... I think... {close-up} The writer just got a horrible idea...

{A bolt of lightening strikes Cruroar, turning him into a pile of ash}

CONCHRIS: Ha ha! You died!

{Another bolt of lightening strikes Conchris, turning HIM into a pile of ash}

CONCHRIS: Ouch.

{Cue intro}

{Open to the basement of Conchris' House, Conchris is fiddling with a machine with his wrench. He turns a few cranks around it and checks to see if it is okay. Whilst doing so, he accidentally turns the machine on, the machine starts whirring and clicking before humming quietly to himself. Conchris, realising what he has done, suddenly jumps away from the table, with the wrench still in his hand}

CONCHRIS: Oh no! This is bad! / I'd better warn the others! / Post-haste I say! Gah!

{Conchris chucks the wrench over his shoulder and runs up the stairs to the living room}

{Cut to the living room, Cruroar and Cieeia are watching TV. Conchris bursts in through the basement door and starts breathing heavily as if he just ran a marathon}

CRUROAR: {grins as he says the third line} What's wrong with you, man? / Did anything break on you? / Like a toaster?

{Cieeia giggles as Conchris looks up at Cruroar to give him an evil glare, Conchris slowly walks up to Cruroar}

CONCHRIS: NO! It is not, dude! / It's a poetic machine! / It's activated!

CIEEIA: Why not "It's been?", Con? / Wait, what on earth? This is / rather strange... huh.

CONCHRIS: Don't you see now, guys? / We can only talk like this! / Ahh... what a day... gee.

CRUROAR: It's like a curse, but / it probably isn't. Why, / Conches, why torture?

CONCHRIS: The machine won't stop. / It's really annoying. There's / only one way out.

CIEEIA: And that is?

{Conchris and Cruroar looks at Cieeia}

CIEEIA: Oops, sorry! I am / not very good at this, not / at all. No way. Eep!

CONCHRIS: This is getting bad. / I wonder if the others / were affected. Bye!

{Conchris runs out the door in the main hall, Cruroar and Cieeia go back to watching TV}

{Cut to Sirhcnoc's planning room in Sirhcnoc's Lair on a hill, Sirhcnoc is at a computer examining a blueprint. A door bell rings from a distance away, Sirhcnoc turns around on his swivel chair to face Greg, who was busy contemplating his life whilst reading a book with the title "How to deal with Insane People"}

SIRHCNOC: Greg! Get that door please! / Post-haste, I say! Post-haste man! / {turns around to face a rather strange looking robot} What the hell is this?

GREG: {sighs} Fine, I'll get that door. / Grumble, mumble, grr... mumble. / Stupid lazy Clark...

{Greg gets off from the bean bag he was sitting on and walks down the stairs to the front door, he hits a button near the bottom right-side of the door only for it to open up to reveal Conchris}

CONCHRIS: I suppose you guys / were affected too. Oh no. / This bites, you know!

GREG: {sighs} Yes, we are, thank you. / How about the other guys? / Were they struck too?

CONCHRIS: Unfortunately, / yes, we were. This is rather / annoying, you know.

GREG: An epic journey / is needed before we die! / To the Lord of Poems!

{Cut to the streets, Cruroar and Cieeia are standing outside, Cieeia seems to be in an argument with Aria because of their incoherent speaking. Conchris and Greg walks in}

CONCHRIS: Guys! I have idea! / We meet with the Lord of Poems. / But where would he be?

CIEEIA: Lord of Poems? / I've seen him before. Moron. / I hated him much.

CRUROAR: Well, where is he then? / Could we just search for him now? / This episode sucks.

CONCHRIS: Shut up! I have plan. / We search city far and wide. / I don't make no sense.

GREG: {sighs} Let's get this over with. / So I can go, and sleep. / Just hurry up, guys.

{Montage:}

• {Cut to Wikity Park, Cruroar and Cieeia casually walk along, looking around to find the lord of poems, Chrionroar is seen in the background, chasing after a robotic stop sign}
• {Cut to Wikity Mall, Conchris shoots everything in sight with a freeze ray. Finding nothing, he walks off, only to slip on a patch of ice that he created into a rubbish bin, he pulls himself out of it with a banana peel on top of his head, he then shakes himself down before running, and then sliding, off}
• {Cut to Wikity City Hall, Greg is asking Spyden for some books, whom politely hands them to him, Greg reads through the books at a desk and pulls out a book with the title "Lord of Poems", he reads it for a bit before it starts to glow.}

{End montage}

{Cut to Wikity City Hall, again, Greg steps away from the desk to marvel at the glow. Spyden ogles the glow with curiousity. Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia run in and stop to look at it. The glow slowly begins to fade to make way for a humanoid figure that has a book for a head.}

LORD OF POEMS: I am Lord of Poems. / Master of rhymes and rhythm! / Who summoned me here?!

{Conchris points at Greg, who looks at him in-between angry eyes. Greg suddenly turns around when the Lord of Poems begins to speak again}

LORD OF POEMS: Looks like something's wrong / Who screwed the flow of words? WHO?! / I ask of you, WHO?!

{Conchris is pushed forward by Cruroar and Cieeia, he looks back at them angrily and then looks at the Lord of Poems with a face of regret}

CONCHRIS: I admit it, "sire". / It was all me, can't you see? / What you gonna do?

{The Lord of Poems looks at Conchris and shakes his head before floating closer to him, Conchris takes a step back and his face is filled with fear as the Lord of Poems glares at him}

LORD OF POEMS: A challenge for you. / Beat me in a haiku comp. / If you win, you're free.

CONCHRIS: What if I don't win? / What stakes are you taking, dude? / Money? Prizes? Stuff?

LORD OF POEMS: Silence, you fool! Now... / We'll compete with haikus, now. / You first, my dear friend.

CONCHRIS: {clears throat} This is a haiku. / I think it is very good. / Maybe it is not?

{The Lord of Poems laughs at the pathetic haiku he has heard and then pulls out a scroll and picks one from a list}

LORD OF POEMS: In Water Temple, / it laughs at your attempts. / Worst temple ever.

CONCHRIS: What on earth was that? / I could hardly see a haiku! / That was terrible.

LORD OF POEMS: No, my dear friend, YOUR / haiku was terrible and for / that, you lose. Good day!

{A disembodied applause is heard as the Lord of Poems takes a bow. Conchris glares at him before suddenly snapping at him}

CONCHRIS: I had quite enough! / Your haiku was a mess, man! / Enough is enough!

{Conchris pulls out his laser blade and starts attacking the Lord of Poems, but the attacks go right through him}

LORD OF POEMS: Don't you see, my friend? / I am invincible, HAH! / Try hard as you might!

CONCHRIS: I had quite enough with your terrible game! In fact, I felt that it was horribly lame!

{A disembodied audience gasps as the Lord of Poems is taken aback by the notion}

LORD OF POEMS: How dare you?! You fool! / The flow of words is ruined! / How could you say that?!

CONCHRIS: Great, now my poem style just changed. You guys may have thought I was simply deranged!

{The Lord of Poems is taken aback whilst a disembodied audience plays unfitting music gasps}

LORD OF POEMS: Please! No more! I beg! / Please stop this! You win! You win! / Stop rhyming please, PLEASE!

CONCHRIS: And you want to know one more thing? I'll make you disappear with a sound like PING!

{The Lord of Poems lands onto the ground and starts to breathe heavily, he looks up at Conchris}

LORD OF POEMS: You win, my dear friend. / Feel free to destroy the / language... you win... argh...

CONCHRIS: I was hoping you'd help me with my machine, before it explodes and says "Shaheen!"

LORD OF POEMS: Alright, you have me. / Now, help me up. I have work. / To fix this "machine".

{Cut to the basement in Conchris' house, the Lord of Poems is inspecting the softly humming machine, he mumbles something to himself before shrouding the machine in a veil, turning it into a book. The Lord of Poems slowly disappears into thin air without as much of a goodbye, Conchris walks over to the book and tosses it into the rubbish bin. He then walks towards Cruroar, Cieeia and Greg}

CONCHRIS: Well, that was anti-climatic.

CRUROAR: Yeah, that was truly drastic.

CIEEIA: Let's never do another episode like this again.

CONCHRIS: Yeah, maybe I should bring back the magical locator... pen.

CRUROAR: I wonder what would happen if we kept the machine on.

CONCHRIS: That future's too dark to ponder upon.

{Fade to black}

{Open to a darkened Wikity, a man in a trenchcoat walks up to one of the citizens}

MAN: Excuse me, but where's the hotel?

CITIZEN: Hotel? What hotel? / There's nothing else here to do. / Everybody left.

{Cue credits}

{Cut to the writer's room, the writer picks up the sheet of paper and looks at it}

VOICE: {echoed} That episode is just horrible.

WRITER: No, it's not! It's sheer brilliance!

VOICE: {echoed} The pacing... the plot... You're going to end up re-writing it soon!

WRITER: Shut up! You're just a voice! I, on the other hand, have a body, UNLIKE YOU! Those guys at Wiki User TV will love it!

VOICE: {echoed} Nobody's going to like it, way to ruin their reputation man!

{Cut to a black screen with the word "END" on it}