RiffText/The Aura Chronicles/1

{Cut to the outside of Pleasantview High, a school bell rings}

{Cut to the Halls of PVH, The 6 main characters are walking through the halls}

LEMON: How the hell did that cut somewhere while cutting somewhere else? Is this episode about magic?

LUCAS: So...what's everyone got now?

ELYSSA: Well, me and Tom have history. That reminds me...Tom, how'd you get into college if you're only 17?

TOM: Because...I'm just so smart.

LEMON: HAY LOOK MOAR OF TOMMY'S MARY SUENESS

ARUSEUS: But wait, then why did you bribe the principal with one million bucks?

FOXX: {robotic voice} Where'd you even get one million dollars?

TOM: Well...I-

LUCAS: Nevermind that. Garzel and I have double biology. And you know what today is... {elbows Garzel lightly}

GARZEL: Oh, joy. The day we cut open frogs.

TOM: Garzel, please. I've dissected starfish.

ARUSEUS: Frogs? Give me a break! I had to dissect a pig!

ELYSSA: I dissected a human once.

{Tom faints}

LEMON: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFaint.

ELYSSA: Uh...I'll just carry him to the classroom.

FOXX: Aruseus, shouldn't we be on our way to computer science?

ARUSEUS: Yep! I'll see you guys at lunch!

GARZEL: Jeez...I feel sick already.

LUCAS: I dissected frogs back in high school! Wait...no....I did not cut because my parter tied the knot in his apron too tight...crap. I guess we're both screwed.

GARZEL: Don't you at least know what the inside of a frog looks like?

LUCAS: Thankfully, yes. Un-thankfully, I almost puked.

LEMON: I almost puked when this was made.

GARZEL: Dear God no...

{Cut to computer science class}

FOXX: Are you even programming?

ARUSEUS: Programming's for chumps and chumpettes. I'm kicking some serious rump at 4 Second Frenzy.

FOXX: {sigh} How the {censored} did I get stuck with you?

LEMON: Hell is not a swear, Einstein.

ARUSEUS: Blame the writing staff!

{Cut to history}

ELYSSA: {slapping Tom, who sits behind her} Wake up! Wake up! Wake-

TEACHER: Elyssa! Quit that disruption!

ELYSSA: Sorry, Mrs. Fergeson. I made him faint by talking about dissection ventures.

MRS. FERGESON: Well, you can wake him up, but take it outside. And if the period ends, I'll give you the homework.

ELYSSA: Ok. {Takes Tom outside}

{Cut to Elyssa's locker area, she double-takes, and quietly stuffs Tom in her locker, and runs back to class}

{Cut to biology}

LEMON: Now, I really think this episode is about magic.

LUCAS: {swinging around the scalpel} How does this work?

GARZEL: Woah! Careful with that! You'll kill someone with that!

LUCAS: Oh, come on. It's no sharper than a butter knife-

{Lucas swings and cuts off Garzel's arm}

LEMON: OH HEY HE DID SOMETHING ALMOST IMPOSIBLE

GARZEL: OW! Lucas, you son of a-

LUCAS: Ok, I know what to do. I'll just tape it back on.

{Lucas turns around to get the tape behind him, but accidentally slices Garzel in half with the scalpel}

GARZEL: EYAAH! Lucas...

LUCAS: Tape, Garzel. Tape.

{Cut to lunch, everyone of the main characters except Tom is there. Garzel has his arm taped back on, but only his upper half is on the chair}

GARZEL: Damn it,

LEMON: Damn it, Garzel, it's spelled damnit

Lucas, why do you have to be an idiot?

LUCAS and ARUSEUS: {simultaneously} Blame the writing staff!

GARZEL: Never mind that. Lucas, you go find masking tape and get the rest of my body out of my locker. Elyssa, buy me a cheeseburger.

ELYSSA: Ok. Anything for an injured friend.

ARUSEUS: Stupid teacher gave me detention for not programming.

LEMON: You can deprogram Foxx for all I care that idiot.

FOXX: What'd I tell you?

{Elyssa arrives back}

ELYSSA: Here's your burger.

GARZEL: Feed it to me.

ELYSSA: You bumbling fool! You have arms and hands! Well...spike hands.

{Lucas comes back with masking tape}

LUCAS: I got the tape.

GARZEL: And?

LUCAS: Oh. And here's your whatever. {drops Garzel's lower half on the floor}

"I'm...going to kill you."

{Tom walks in}

TOM: I'm...going to kill you.

ELYSSA: Wha?

TOM: Why'd you stick me in your locker? It smelt like perfume in there!

EVERYONE ELSE: Blame the writing staff!

LEMON: You mean blame Ryan for THINKING UP THIS IDIOTIC THING

TOM: Whatever.

{The End!}