(even if you aren't vegan)
Conshow/38
Summary
The Sanity Shifter slowly takes effect as Chrionroar becomes more sane, at the cost of other's sanities. Meanwhile, Conchris and company go on an uninspired adventure of sorts
Transcript
{Open to the Spaceship's deck, Conchris is surrounded by ninjas as fight music starts playing. Conchris jumps up into the air and a record scratching sound is played}
CRUROAR: Oh hell no! We're not having another episode with fighting!
CONCHRIS: {suspended} Yeah, you're right. These ninjas can go back to cry to their MOMS! {fires a laser in a random direction, causing the ninjas to vanish, he then falls onto the floor}
CRUROAR: The writer's been getting writer's block. We need ideas to survive.
{Conchris holds up a picture of Chrionroar with puppy dog eyes}
CONCHRIS: This is the writer when he is out of ideas. Look at him, aww... with a W$100 a week, we can restore his creativity and stop him from procrastinating.
CRUROAR: Yeah! We're definitely not going to send it to the space terrorists!
{A number suddenly flashes onto the screen reading "000-000-000-FAKE"}
CONCHRIS: Call now!
{Cue introduction}
{Open to Wikity, zoom in on the streets}
{Cut to the streets, the streets are barren and bare as the camera pans to the left, the camera then focuses on the ruins of Conchris' house}
{Cut to the ruins of Conchris' house - Basement, Chrionroar, Aria, Mr. Person and Old Man are huddled around a table}
MR. PERSON: So, we need suggestions on how to find the others.
ARIA: Even though I'm going to regret doing this, yeah. Maybe we could build a catapult that can send us into space!
OLD MAN: How about a transporter made out of... STICKS! {jumps onto the table and starts running around the scene whilst ranting about sticks}
MR. PERSON: Something tells me that the sanity of this city is worsening.
ARIA: You think?! There's a crazy guy wearing a traffic cone on his head calling himself the "Emperor of Wikity"
{Cut to the city hall, the hall is also a mess with paper and furniture strewn everywhere, the mayor is tied up and gagged as a crazy looking guy with a traffic cone sits on a throne made of paper}
TRAFFIC CONE GUY: Where's my damn cola?!
{Cut back to the basement}
ARIA: If we don't find them quick, Wikity might fall into the great crisis of '96 all over again!
MR. PERSON: You've been studying your history, haven't you?
ARIA: Well, I do what I can...
MR. PERSON: So, we have no new ideas? Anyone? Writer?
WRITER: {voice} Look man, I'm suffering from writer's block okay?
MR. PERSON: Oh sorry! I didn't know you were Mister High and Mighty! Okay, fine! I'll ask Chrionroar. {looks over to Chrionroar} Any good ideas, sir?
{Chrionroar is staring into space}
MR. PERSON: Erm... Chrionroar? Hello? {waves hand in front of Chrionroar's eyes} Anyone there?
{Chrionroar suddenly snaps out of his trance}
CHRIONROAR: Spaceship.
MR. PERSON: What?
CHRIONROAR: Spaceship. We build now.
MR. PERSON: Hulliba wha?
CHRIONROAR: I find blueprint under sign pile. {pulls out a blueprint with Conchris' name on it} This spaceship.
MR. PERSON: Are you suggesting that they went into space?!
CHRIONROAR: Yes.
ARIA: Well, it sounds stupid but it kind of makes sense.
MR. PERSON: All in favor?
{Aria and Mr. Person raise their hands}
MR. PERSON: Good. Now I say we should let the idiot out to find materials.
CHRIONROAR: No.
MR. PERSON: Why the hell not?!
CHRIONROAR: I build spaceship here. I know where tool are.
ARIA: Are you suggesting that WE find the materials?!
CHRIONROAR: Yes.
MR. PERSON: {sighs} Fine, we'll go find the materials. Make sure nobody gets in, okay?
CHRIONROAR: Okay.
{Mr. Person and Aria walk out of the basement, Old Man is still ranting about sticks until he hits a wall, Chrionroar picks up Old Man and throws him off-screen}
CHRIONROAR: No rant about sticks, no more! Now to build!
{Cut to the "Spac-chip" - Conchris' room, Conchris is working on a robot as Cruroar opens the door, he suddenly covers it with a cloth when he notices Cruroar coming in}
CRUROAR: Mind if I ask what you were doing?
CONCHRIS: Another toaster!
CRUROAR: Yeah, like that little human-shaped bump on the table is a toaster.
CONCHRIS: No, he's going to have a toaster for a head and he will wake us up every morning with toast coming out of his head. And we will be plagued by bread crumbs in our beds.
CRUROAR: That sounds very stupid-sounding. What about Forest? Are you neglecting her upgrades?
CONCHRIS: No, she's deactivated. She can't do a thing about it when I forcibly turn her into a tank. I mean, why don't you ask Rush? I mean, he's probably turned into a spring or jet about a dozen times!
CRUROAR: Okay, keep working...
{Conchris pulls the cloth off and restarts working on the robot as Cruroar turns for the door. Cruroar turns around and takes a glance at the robot. Conchris notices, pulls out a shotgun and turns around so that the shotgun is pointing at Cruroar's chest}
CONCHRIS: No sneak previews I'm afraid!
CRUROAR: Can't we just solve it without violence?
CONCHRIS: No! Everyone loves random acts of violence! {fires the shotgun, sending Cruroar out of the room}
{Cut to the control room, Nydara is busy tending to the buttons and levers as Cruroar flies in and smashes into the big red button, he then slumps to the floor}
NYDARA: {gasps as Cruroar slumps to the floor and then relaxes as nothing happens} Oh, I thought that the ship was going to crash...
{Suddenly, the ship starts to hurtle down as the planet in the window gets bigger}
NYDARA: DUCK FOR COVER!
{Cut to the planet's surface, the ship suddenly stops falling about an inch from the ground. Cut to the inside of the ship, Nydara opens her eyes}
NYDARA: That's funny, I thought we would...
{The ship hurtles forwards and explodes, sending Conchris and Nydara out of the ship. Conchris lands in a tree as Nydara lands in the water, Nydara swims up and back to the shore as Conchris hops down the tree}
CONCHRIS: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
NYDARA: We weren't in Kansas to begin with, idiot!
CONCHRIS: I was just making a reference.
NYDARA: Well, we somehow survived.
CONCHRIS: Let's be a duo that beats everyone up!
NYDARA: Sounds like a plan!
{Cue introduction, again}
{Open to a clearing, Conchris and Nydara walk into the clearing and are suddenly set upon by small people}
CONCHRIS: AHHH!
{The small people tie up Conchris and Nydara and carry them off}
NYDARA: Well, we're screwed.
CONCHRIS: Yes. Yes, we're screwed.
{Conchris and Nydara are suddenly thrown to the ground as one of the small people pulls out a notice board with the letter P beside a golden flask}
CONCHRIS: What? A P-Flask? What the hell?
{The small person slaps Conchris}
CONCHRIS: OW! Parking? We didn't park! We... crashed. Yeah, that's it!
SMALL PERSON: Correct.
CONCHRIS: I thought you couldn't talk!
SMALL PERSON: I can now! Throw them into the pit of despair to start their journey!
{The small people picks up Conchris and Nydara and throws them into the pit of despair}
SMALL PERSON #2: Shouldn't we tell them where to go?
SMALL PERSON: Nah, we need a jerk reputation to uphold.
{Cut to the bottom of the pit, Conchris crashes in along with Nydara, Conchris pulls his head out of the dirt, spitting it out in the process, and looks around}
CONCHRIS: We died didn't we?
NYDARA: No. What made you think that?
CONCHRIS: They threw us into the freaking pit of despair! We don't even know what to do or even go to!
{Montage music starts playing (Audio Aid: Adventure sounding or use Cheetamen 2's music (found on Youtube) for the lulz)}
CONCHRIS: Oh god no...
{Montage: Conchris runs across the plains to see several armed animals, he throws the laser blade at them, making them disappear. He then drags Nydara across the plains quickly.}
{Montage: Cut to the caves, Conchris slowly walks along with Nydara, careful not to wake any bats until they were set upon by a giant bat. It is then revealed that it was a giant plastic bat and they move on}
{Montage: Cut to the entrance to the mountain, Conchris and Nydara climb up onto the platform with the entrance. The montage stops as Conchris reads the sign}
CONCHRIS: Mountain of Certain Peril. Sounds like a nice place to take a holiday at.
NYDARA: I sure hope that was sarcasm!
CONCHRIS: Who said it wasn't?
NYDARA: AUGH! Let's just find their stupid flask and get out of here!
{Nydara and Conchris walk into the mountain caves, cut to the corridor of certain peril, Conchris walks in}
CONCHRIS: Well, this isn't too bad.
NYDARA: Why don't you test the corridor? I'm sure there's no traps!
CONCHRIS: Great idea!
{Conchris walks through the corridor and starts screaming as he gets incinerated, arrow'd, sliced, shot at, squashed and then beheaded by the traps. His upper body lands on the other side where Nydara is waiting}
CONCHRIS: Well, fortunately, I somehow survived that whole ordeal.
NYDARA: How are you still living?
CONCHRIS: Oh right. {does a dead pose and slides off the screen}
NYDARA: Finally, I have the episode all to myself!
CONCHRIS: {suddenly appears behind Nydara} It's your mom's episode.
{Nydara turns around with a surprised look}
NYDARA: HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!
CONCHRIS: Do what? {pauses} Oh right! That was one of my clones.
NYDARA: Please don't tell me you have a dozen more clones.
CONCHRIS: Ha ha ha! I'm fooling you! The regenerator brings me back to life if I die. I get earlier respawn times than others because I'm the maintenance man, and the maintenance man gets upper priority!
NYDARA: Whatever, let's keep going...
{Cut to a screen with text that reads "WRITER'S BLOCK" for a few seconds, then cut to the white void}
CIEEIA: Wait a second! I never got a line this episode and I'm already dead?!
CRUROAR: Yep. Sucks to be you.
CIEEIA: Aww....
FOREST: Be glad that you weren't deactivated because seeing nothing but fire isn't very amusing to me.
CRUROAR: You see fire in your sleep?
FOREST: Yes. The fires of hell. It burns me... and my soul.
CRUROAR: I thought robots don't have souls.
FOREST: Quiet you! {blasts Cruroar and Cieeia off the screen with a laser} Now I have to wait next episode.
{Conchris suddenly appears}
CONCHRIS: Hi there! {a ding sound is heard} Bye there! {disappears}
FOREST: I hate him even more now.
{Cut to the treasure room, Conchris has a corpse lying at the entrance to the room as several monkeys surround Nydara, Conchris reappears}
CONCHRIS: Okay, this plan isn't working.
NYDARA: Well, you can respawn quickly.
CONCHRIS: Hey! I'm not very expendable! Besides, these guys somehow know my weakness.
NYDARA: Stairs?
CONCHRIS: Gutman's Ass.
{Nydara hits Conchris over the head with a hammer, knocking him out}
NYDARA: CLEANSE THE HATE! {notices that she knocked out Conchris} Oh, crap. Time to fight!
{Nydara steals Conchris' laser blade and turns it on, she jumps up into the air and lands on a pillar, she jumps at a group of monkeys and takes them out with one swipe, she turns around and is set upon by several other monkeys. She throws them off and throws the laser blade like a boomerang, it disintegrates half of the group and flies back to Nydara, whom catches it. She grabs the flask and runs off with it. The monkeys look at the escaping Nydara and the unconscious Conchris}
MONKEY #1: What should we do with it?
MONKEY #2: Eat it?
MONKEY #5: No! We should throw it away!
{The monkeys pick up Conchris and throws him down a vent. Cut to the outside of the mountain, Conchris slips out of the vent and hits a tree, Nydara runs on-screen}
CONCHRIS: Ow! My head!
NYDARA: Well, we got it.
CONCHRIS: The flask?!
NYDARA: Yeah, come on. Let's go pay that damn parking fee.
{Cut to The Streets on Earth, Chrionroar is looking at the plans}
CHRIONROAR: Finally! It complete! {pulls the plans out of view to reveal a shoddily down spaceship} If I follow instruction more clearly.
MR. PERSON: Why is the oil leaking?
CHRIONROAR: It normal. It called Totally Original!
ARIA: Wait, wait, wait. Totally Original? Didn't other secondary characters go into space to find the main characters befo-
CHRIONROAR: ORIGINAL!
{Cut to space inside the Totally Original, Chrionroar, Mr. Person, Old Man and Aria are huddled together}
MR. PERSON: Are you sure we have enough food? Or even have any?
CHRIONROAR: No need for food. We in cartoon, we survive anyway.
{Time card: Several days later}
{Cut to space inside the Totally Original, Mr. Person is a skeleton, Old Man is hanging upside down, Chrionroar has a beard and Aria is incredibly thin. Aria reaches out for Chrionroar's leg and grabs it}
ARIA: I'm going to eat your leg, do you mind?
CHRIONROAR: I do not mind.
{Aria takes a bite into the leg and keels over}
ARIA: Bleurgh! It's rotten!
{Cue credits}
