Con email.wue/103

Summary

Conchris goes to the planet Poopularia, where people shovel whatsit all day.

Cast in order of appearance:

Page Title: lol 103

Transcript

CONCHRIS: I better get a good one, or I'll explode, not really.

Dear Conchris,
Are your legs made of tape?
If not, are you interested in poop shoveling?
The poopsmith says it does wonders for your tolerance for pain.
Space Admiral Strong Sader OBE

CONCHRIS: No, my legs are not made of tape, what made you think that? And I'm not really interested in poop shoveling, I mean, you have to stand a horrible smell all day and with low pay too. Thank goodness there isn't a planet with poop shoveling as an attraction...

SHIP'S COMPY: Now going to a planet with poop shoveling as an attraction.

CONCHRIS: Me and my big mouth...

SHIP'S COMPY: Ha ha. You and your big mouth.

CONCHRIS: Do you always have to listen to me and copy me all the time?

SHIP'S COMPY: Activating "land.exe".

CONCHRIS: Hah! Wait, land? CANCEL! CANCEL!

SHIP'S COMPY: "land.exe" activated, we have landed on a planet. Planet name unknown.

CONCHRIS: I suppose I have to manually enter the planet's name do I?

SHIP'S COMPY: Activating "yes.exe". "yes.exe" activated. Yes. You do.

CONCHRIS: Do you always have to activate a program everytime you speak?

SHIP'S COMPY: Activating "brag.exe". "brag.exe" activated. Yeah, I activate a program everytime I speak, and I never run out of memory, NOW FRE... Activating "continuethesentenceyoumoron.exe". "continuethesentenceyoumoron.exe" activated. ...AKING GIVE THE PLANET A NAME ALREADY!

CONCHRIS: Alright! Alright! Jeez, you don't have to complete the sentence!

SHIP'S COMPY: Naming unknown planet to "Jeez, you don't have to complete the sentence!"

CONCHRIS: W-w-wait! I meant, Whatsitia.

SHIP'S COMPY: Unknown command name. Please type it in again.

CONCHRIS: Fine, Poopularia!

SHIP'S COMPY: Done, congratulations you received the worst named planet award!

CONCHRIS: You receive the "I'll punch you in the face if you continue to prepare for landing" award in a minute!

SHIP'S COMPY: Too late! We're here! And you're on your own too. The others are still asleep!

CONCHRIS: CURSES!

{Cut to outside the ship, then start panning right, there are several Poopsmiths digging Whatsit, after a while of panning, Cut back to Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Woah, even for a planet that's supposed to smell bad, this has got to be the most messed up planet EVER!

POOPSMITH: {holds up a sign saying: O RLY?}

CONCHRIS: Wow, they can't even spell...

POOPSMITH: {holds up a sign saying: Actually, we can spell, dumbo...}

CONCHRIS: OY! CUT THAT OUT!

POOPSMITH: {holds up a sign saying: Fellow Poopsmiths, ATTACK!}

{The Poopsmiths from far and wide charge at Conchris, flailing their shovels into the air}

CONCHRIS: I thought ONE The Poopsmith were enough. But 5 million? That's crazy! Eugh... And the stench is very strong... Silent but deadly... AHH! RUN! {Starts running}

{Cut to an overview of the planet's land, Conchris is running away, the screen starts to slow down (lag) as the Poopsmiths run on screen}

CONCHRIS: SOMEBODY GET THESE FREAKING POOPSMITHS AWAY FROM ME!

SHIP'S COMPY: {voiceover} Glady... {robotic voice} Activating killerrobot.exe.....

{Cut to the charging Poopsmiths, they stop and start running away EXCEPT FOR ONE as the shadow overshadows them}

SHIP'S COMPY: "killerrobot.exe" activated. Target acquired, Poopsmith. Prepare for pain!

{The giant robot throws the remaining Poopsmith into the building, it then shovels a pile of land with the Poopsmith on it, and then it smushes The Poopsmith under its feet. It lifts up its feet}

SHIP'S COMPY: EW! I got Poopsmith on my foot! {peels off the Poopsmith and he magically becomes normal} Oh dear, looks like his tolerance for pain's through the roof, that's not like the others, they all ran away.

CONCHRIS: That's because he IS The Poopsmith.

SHIP'S COMPY: What's he doing here?

CONCHRIS: Dunno, perhaps for stuff...

{The screen gets sketchy, credits roll}

Conchris Email 103
By Conchris

Animation producer:
Some Guy

Writer:
Conchris

The many Poopsmiths:
The forgotten characters in suits

The Poopsmith:
Himself

Conchris:
Himself

Director:
Not Strong Bad

Co-Director:
Strong Sad

Random Visitor:
Stinkoman

{Cut to the T.V}

TV/NARRATOR: What will happen next? Will The Poopsmith be chucked back to Free Country USA, where the whatsit is left unshoveled? Will I start asking good questions? Why is our only viewer Homestar? Find out next on Dragon Ball... Oh wait... Con_email.exe! {some kind of theme song plays}

HOMESTAR: This is the best show I have ever seen!

HOMSCHOOL WINNER: HOMESTAR! WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING IN CONCHRIS' HOUSE?! DID YOU EVER SEE THE SIGN?! It says: Wanted. Everyone I hate. Enquire within. And you're not hated by him. GET OUT!

HOMESTAR: Fine! I'm going! One day, the Homestarmy will...

HOMSCHOOL WINNER: GET OUT!

{Homestar disappears}

{The paper comes down, with the words "Click here to email Conchris, NAO!"}

Author's Comment

3/5 - Actually a bit better than my past ones.