Con email.wue/114

Summary

A giant Jelly Beast attacks the city, Conchris runs in to help.

Transcript

CONCHRIS: Generic Email thing.

Subject: Jelly

Dear Conchris,
An enormous Jelly Beast is attacking the city!
Strong Sader

CONCHRIS: A jelly beast?

{A small figure pops up on the screen, which looks like Cruriroar}

CRURIROAR: Jelly. Beast. Check it on the news or something. {opens up a window with the news in it} That should do, I'm going to just watch your reaction.

{Conchris reads the news, close-up of the screen, it says:}

JELLY BEAST ATTACKING TEH CITY!

A jelly beast is attacking the city today. The Cheat Commandos are already
out fighting at the time of writing. "I think it is the work of Blue Laser!"
says Gunhaver, "They're probably trying to engulf the city in delicious yet evil jelly!"
A witness, Strong Sader, emailled a random person for help.
Also, for no reason at all, Homsar is inside the jelly, screaming random crap.

{Zoom out to normal view}

CONCHRIS: Oh crap! CRUROAR! Fetch me my freeze ray, we have a jelly beast to hunt!

{Conchris runs off-screen, a door opening and closing sound is heard, a pause}

CRURIROAR: I'll just sit right here then... {sits on one of the icons}

{Cut to the City, a Jelly Beast roars and flails his jelly arms about, cut to the ground}

GREEN HELMET #25: Sir! Our weapons are useless against this beast! It's unstoppable.

{Pan left to reveal Gunhaver}

GUNHAVER: I don't care what you say! Just keep firing it at! It'll die down.

GREEN HELMET #25: But sir, we're running out of ammo!

{Conraver jumps in}

CONRAVER: I tried to Non-Canon Cannon it but it is too big to fit in the cannon!

GUNHAVER: That's it! Send in Reinforcements!

{Reinforcements walks in}

REINFORCEMENTS: Hey guys.

{Cut to a random rooftop, Conchris bursts through a door}

CONCHRIS: Man, I'm never climbing all those stairs again...

{Pan right to reveal Cruroar}

CONCHRIS: How'd you get up here?

CRUROAR: Teleporter.

{Cut to the Teleporter Room in Conchris' House, Homestar walks in}

HOMESTAR: Hello? Is anybody in here? {looks at the monitor beside the teleporter for a while} BORING! {walks off}

{Cut back to the rooftop}

CONCHRIS: {mumbling} I should've taken it too... {talking} Alright, now here's the plan, you distract the Jelly Beast while I charge up the freeze ray, don't let it near me. I heard that some Cheat Commandos are around too, try to get them to help too.

CRUROAR: Umm... okay... I guess...

{Cruroar somehow jumps onto another rooftop}

CRUROAR: HEY! SLIMY!

{The Jelly Beast turns around to attack Cruroar, Cruroar jumps off, cut back to the ground}

GREEN HELMET #40: Sir! We're out of missile ammo!

GUNHAVER: Then get some more at the market! Those missiles have to be fired!

GREEN HELMET #40: But sir...

{Cruroar crashes into Green Helmet #40}

CRUROAR: Ow...

GUNHAVER: I don't know who you are and how you did it but you definitely helped me shut that green helmet up!

{Cruroar gets up}

CRUROAR: You're Gunhaver, right?

GUNHAVER: Of course! What other Gunhaver would exist?

CRUROAR: Good, uhh... can you help me distract the Jelly Beast?

GUNHAVER: I think we're already doing a good enough job at distracting it.

{Cut to several places, Green Helmets get knocked down but the Jelly Beast's arms, cut back}

GUNHAVER: Okay fine!

{Cruroar pokes at the Jelly Beast, causing it to turn around, cut back to Conchris}

CONCHRIS: It should be about ready... Ready...

{Cut to Cruroar}

CRUROAR: {shouting} ANYTIME NOW CONCHRIS?

{Cut to Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Aim... and FIRE!

{A laser comes out of the Freeze Ray, the Jelly Beast roars as it is shot and freezes up, it then shatters, cut to a rooftop, Homsar lands perfectly safe}

HOMSAR: DAaAaAaAaAaAaA! I'm one with the forks!

{Cut to Conchris' Computer Room, and a close-up of the computer screen}

CRURIROAR: Well, since he isn't back yet, I think it is my job as an assistant to finish the email off. {words appear as he speaks} Well, Strong Sader, I guess that Conchris has destroyed the Jelly Beast. The Cheat Commandos are busy partying at the fact that they won and I think that Mr. Person did it. {words no longer appear as he speaks} Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be back in my own universe! {disappears}

{The Paper comes down saying, "Click here to email Conchris, there isn't no easter eggs, is there?"}

Easter Eggs

• Clicking on Easter Eggs on The Paper brings up a picture of yet another plan from Mr. Person.
• Clicking on Cheat Commandos will play a scene in Blue Laser's HQ

Easter Egg Transcript

{Cut to Blue Laser's HQ}

BLUE LASER MINION #1: Bad news boss, the Jelly Beast that we ordered from Mr. Person has a sploded.

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I HATE THOSE CHEAT COMMANDOS SO MUCH!

{Cut back to the Computer Room}

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Author Comment

4.7 out of 5 - DECIMAL'D! Am I glad to use characters I never seem to have used before.