Con email.wue/128

Summary

Read the description on the main page, I couldn't be bothered

Transcript

{Fade out to Conchris' Computer Room, the Jaws theme plays, Chrionroar lurks around for a while until the climax, he then comes up from the bottom of the screen to eat the computer before he is stopped by the lights flickering on, he disappears quickly as Cieeia walks on-screen}

CIEEIA: I want to bypass the email client stuff. Let's just skip ahead to the email.

Hello, Cieeia!

How do you manage to stay sane
in a house full of crazies?

Stay the course,
Skully B.

CIEEIA: Oh! Hello! How do I manage to stay sane in this house? Umm...

{Cruroar jumps in}

CRUROAR: But I'm not a crazie...

CIEEIA: Err... to be honest, you sort of are....

CRUROAR: I KNEW IT! {runs across the screen before he falls down the hole} Crap...

CIEEIA: You know, I have absolutely no idea how I stay sane in this house.

{Forest climbs into the room via the hole}'

FOREST: It's because you are the only source of sanity in this house, everyone else is just plain insane.

CRUROAR: Please tell me that's not true...

FOREST: It is... now shut up.

{Cruroar starts crying}

CIEEIA: But is there really any way how I could stay sane?

FOREST: Well, for starters, you have the sanity tolerance of a god.

{Chrionroar bursts in with a sledgehammer, screaming}

CHRIONROAR: I LIKE CHICKEN WINGS! {swings the sledgehammer at Cieeia, Cieeia dodges the sledgehammer and it creates a bigger hole in the floor}

FOREST: {starts to spark} ERROR 3234. SLEDGEHAMMER DOES NOT COMPUTE! {grabs Chrionroar and throws him out the window} STARTING BACKUP DRIVE! {voice starts to sound like Microsoft Sam} You have selected Microsoft Sam as the robot's back up voice... Oh great, now I sound like a man.

CIEEIA: He he...

FOREST: If you laugh at me again I will tear you to shreds!

CIEEIA: Ahem... So... I guess I'll be going to the living room. {jumps down the hole}

{Cut to Conchris' Living room, Cieeia falls down and lands on Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Ow.

CIEEIA: Sorry. {gets off Conchris, Conchris gets up} Do you know how I stay sane in this house?

CONCHRIS: Well... uh... You don't even think about it.

CIEEIA: Oh...

FOREST: I think you tell your problems to the secondary characters off-screen.

{Cieeia grabs Forest by the collar}

CIEEIA: WHO TOLD YOU?!

FOREST: A wizard told me.

{Pan left, Cieeia eyes the wizard angrily}

WIZARD: AH MAN! I've been ratted out! {disappears}

CIEEIA: Yeah, I guess I kinda do.

{Cut to the streets, Aria is standing there listening to Cieeia}

CIEEIA: I just don't know what to do.

ARIA: Did you check the back of the box?

CIEEIA: Well, how was I supposed to know that?

ARIA: Wizard told you.

CIEEIA: Oh oops.

ARIA: What?

CIEEIA: I burnt the box.

ARIA: You know, this is the furthest I have ever gotten without getting injured. Sweet! New personal record! {A car runs over Aria, she lifts her hand up, and talks weakly} I stand... corrected...

{Cut back to Conchris' Living Room, Conchris is wearing mountain gear}

CIEEIA: Did you just dress it mountain gear during that cutaway?

CONCHRIS: Yes. I'm going to scale the tallest mountain in Wikity!

CIEEIA: Have fun... {Conchris walks out} Wait, WHAT?!

{Cut to the Tallest Mountain, there is a booth outside, Conchris walks up to it}

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: What do you want?

CONCHRIS: I want to scale the tallest mountain in Wikity. Is this it?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Yes... Go right ahead... I hope you die...

CONCHRIS: Okay. SWEET! {takes out a grappling hook and flies off-screen}

{After a while, Cieeia runs on-screen}

CIEEIA: Did you see a guy with blue hair?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Yes. He went off with a grappling hook a while ago.

CIEEIA: I must warn him before it's too late! {runs off}

{Clark looks to the left and right before facepalming}

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: DARN! Almost had them!

{Cut to a cliff on the Tallest Mountain, Conchris is hanging from a rope, climbing up to the top}

CONCHRIS: Climbing mountains is hard work!

{Zoom out to reveal Greg trying to use scissors to cut the rope}

GREG: STUPID ROPE! WHY. WON'T YOU. {Conchris gets to the top and climbs over} Snap...?

CONCHRIS: Hello.

GREG: Err... hi... Human... I'm not trying to kill you... nope... {throws scissors away}

CIEEIA: STOP! {runs on-screen}

CONCHRIS: Cieeia? How'd you get here so fast?

CIEEIA: Now's not the time! We must get off this mountain quickly!

CONCHRIS: Why?

CIEEIA: {zoom out to reveal that the mountain is, in fact, a volcano} IT'S A VOLCANO!

CONCHRIS: GASP! Really?

CIEEIA: YES!

{The volcano explodes, lava starts seeping onto the screen}

CONCHRIS: This is a volcano?

{A koopaling comes on-screen}

KOOPALING: THIS IS A VOLCANO!

{Pause}

CIEEIA: No, go die in the lava. {throws Koopaling into the lava} We must think of a way, quickly!

CONCHRIS: I have an idea! With this... hoverboard that I conveniently had on me, we can escape!

GREG: Is there room for two?

CONCHRIS: NO! FIND YOUR OWN WAY DOWN! {flies away on the hoverboard, leaving Cieeia and Greg behind}

CIEEIA: Well, I'm not about to burn in a fire so... {brings out a watch and pushes a button on it} bye... {teleports away}

{The lava comes closer}

GREG: Well this sucks...

{Cut back to Conchris' Computer Room}

CONCHRIS: And another short adventure has ended, thanks to Cieeia.

CIEEIA: Yep...

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: Where's Cruroar?

CIEEIA: Um...

{Cruroar bursts in}

CRUROAR: Cieeia... please... am I insane?

CIEEIA: No... I just like you the way you are.

CRUROAR: Really?

CIEEIA: Yes.

CRUROAR: Thanks. {sniffs}

CONCHRIS: Can I have my email show back?

CIEEIA: NO!

{The Paper comes down reading, "Click here to 'email' Cieeia!}