Con email.wue/124

Summary

Conchris tries to answer two emails but Sirhcnoc cuts the power to the city, causing the city to go into a major blackout... at night too.

Transcript

{Fade out to a power generator, a cloaked man walks in and reveals himself to be Sirhcnoc, a strange small furry creature walks in}

FURRY CREATURE: Boss. Are you sure we have to do this?

SIRHCNOC: Yes, or else, HE would have the upper hand on me. I need to do this to advance my evil plan.

FURRY CREATURE: Why did you hire us as your minions anyway?

SIRHCNOC: I need someone to boss around and your race is perfect.

FURRY CREATURE: You do know that we're not inheritably evil you know?

SIRHCNOC: Whatever, let me pull this switch... {pulls the switch and the entire screen goes black}

FURRY CREATURE: {angry look} So... HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF HERE?!

SIRHCNOC: Quiet Greg. I have Nightvision, finding the way out is as easy as 1, 2 and 3!

{Sirhcnoc walks offscreen before hitting the generator face on}

SIRHCNOC: Ow... This could take a while...

{Cut to Conchris' house, outside, there are words at the bottom that reads, "Earlier...", they fade in within five seconds, cut into the Computer room, the hole from Email 123 is still there but smaller than it was, Conchris bursts in from the right side of the screen, a crashing sound was heard.}

CONCHRIS: Okay, that's the last time I use the catapult to get in when I don't have the keys. {clicking on Con_email.exe} Let's see what's up.

Greetings Conchris! You have two new messages!

CONCHRIS: Bring them up then.

I love you,

You're sexy. You are a sexy ninja in tights.

Your secret love

CONCHRIS: HA HA HA HA HA! {falls off of his seat} HA HA HA HA HA! No. Deleted.

NICE TRY!

CONCHRIS: {gets up} What?! But I told you to delete that email!

I said, NICE. TRY.

CONCHRIS: Whatever, next email...

Hey, Conchy!

What would YOU do if the power went
out? What would you do for fun?

- Skully B.

CONCHRIS: That opening line seems so familiar somehow... Nah, must be my imagination. {picks a piece of glass out of his head} and this piece of glass. {throws his fist up in the air and looks at the ceiling} CURSE YOU GLASS MAKING MAN! {the screen suddenly blacks out} Uh... what happened?

CIEEIA: {faint, offscreen} AHHHHH!

CONCHRIS: Gosh, what was that?

{Conchris feels his way out of the computer room to the upstairs hallway}

CONCHRIS: I sure hope that girly scream wasn't yours, Chrionroar. That was ear piercing.

CIEEIA: I'm not Chrionroar! But uh... I can't see!

CONCHRIS: {sighs} Blackout, typical.

CIEEIA: {clutches onto Conchris} Hold me...

CONCHRIS: {shakes Cieeia off and throws her onto the ground, Cieeia whimpers} No. I'm going downstairs, I'm sure Chrionroar is behind this, as always...

{Conchris feels his way to the stairs, he then trips and falls down before landing on someone}

CRUROAR: OW!

CONCHRIS: Oh, sorry. Cruroar? What are you doing down here?!

CRUROAR: A glass of water?! Well, you spilt it now. Thanks.

CONCHRIS: {gets up and brushes himself off} Whatever, where's Chrionroar. {red eyes appear in the background} I'm sure he's around here somewhere...

RED EYES: I'm sure you won't be seeing sunlight ever again! WA HA HA HA HA!

CONCHRIS: That's a stupid laugh, it should be more like this. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

RED EYES: Oh sorry. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so evil.

CONCHRIS: I know that voice! SIRHCNOC!

SIRHCNOC: DARN! There goes my awesome entrance.

CONCHRIS: To be honest, red glowing eyes isn't the most awesome entrance in the world.

SIRHCNOC: Yes it is! And I will now kill you with this gun perhaps! {pulls out a gun and points it at Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Uh, you do know that deaths aren't permanent in this email show, right?

SIRHCNOC: Wow, I never really thought of that... TO THE-

CONCHRIS: {pulls Sirhcnoc and holds him by the collar} WE ARE NOT DOING AN EMAIL 105 AGAIN!

SIRHCNOC: Fine! Then we shall duel, in the moonlight!

{Cut to the street, Conchris is standing on the left side and Sirhcnoc on the opposite, Cruroar is standing there with Cieeia attached to his arm}

CRUROAR: Gee, Cieeia. Why are you afraid of the dark?

CIEEIA: Childhood.

CRUROAR: Oh... That's a very blunt answer. I wish all my answers were blunt.

CONCHRIS: Silence! We're trying to duel here! So what's the rules, Sirhcnoc?

SIRHCNOC: No Items. {throws away the gun he had} Fox Only. {Sirhcnoc turns into a black fox} Final Destination. {Cut to Final Destination, all characters retain their original poses}

CONCHRIS: No, that's a horrible idea. What are you, a tourneytard?

SIRHCNOC: Yes...

CONCHRIS: Look, how about we settle this with a no holds barred duel?

{The scene and characters switch back to the normal setting, Sirhcnoc's gun suddenly flies back into his hand}

SIRHCNOC: That's acceptable! You're on!

CONCHRIS: Music man!

MUSIC MAN: {suddenly appears in a puff of smoke} WHY YES?!

CONCHRIS: Play some epic fight music, any will do.

MUSIC MAN: {fight music starts playing} OKAYZ! {flies off screen}

CONCHRIS: Let's do this!

{Conchris brings out a small device and switches it on, a flash of light resembling a blade pops out, Sirhcnoc holds his ground}

SIRHCNOC: You know what they say, never bring a knife to a gun fight. {fires off a few shots at Conchris}

{Slow-mo, Conchris dodges the bullets whilst running, he then jumps up and prepares to stab Sirhcnoc, Sirhcnoc dodges out of the way before the blade hits the ground, Conchris turns his head towards Sirhcnoc and starts running at him again}

SIRHCNOC: {whilst firing at Conchris, who is dodging most of his shots} Darn! Your fighting's gotten better since the previous time you fought!

CONCHRIS: That's because I train offscreen! HI YAH! {jabs the laser blade into Sirhcnoc's arm, Sirhcnoc gives off a yelp and a scream of pain}

SIRHCNOC: WHY YOU LITTLE... {fires off a charged gun shot, Conchris gets hit by it and is sent flying, Conchris then flies into the ruins of the Soda Factory}

CONCHRIS: {climbs out of the wreckage, bruised and beaten} Ow... That hurt. I need some kind of cheap way to win...

{The screen pans left, revealing a reflector}

CONCHRIS: Just what I need!

{Sirhcnoc dodges backwards before aiming his gun at Conchris again, Conchris jumps into the scene}

SIRHCNOC: Any last words?

CONCHRIS: All toasters toast toast!

SIRHCNOC: Say goodbye! {fires another charged shot, Conchris activates the reflector, sending it back to Sirhcnoc, sending him flying into the sky} THAT'S TOO CHEAP! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME! {disappears into the clouds, the fight music stops}

CONCHRIS: Phew... wait... {zoom out, the city is in blazes} The fight took me halfway across the city?! AWESOME!

{Cut back to Conchris' house, Cruroar is staring at the blaze in awe with Cieeia}

CRUROAR: I don't know what to say...

CIEEIA: Me neither...

{The lights in the background suddenly turn back on}

CRUROAR: Oh good, the power's back on...

CIEEIA: Thank goodness!

CRUROAR: Meh, I need my sleep. Good night.

{Cruroar and Cieeia walk into Conchris' house, Conchris flies through the broken window into the computer room, cut to the computer room, Conchris flies in and lands in the chair suddenly}

CONCHRIS: So, SkullB, what I do when the power's out? Read a book, play some board games or something like that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go find Chrionroar, he hasn't appeared once in this email. {walks off}

{The Paper comes down reading, "Click here to email Conchris!"}

{A faint screaming is heard and then Chrionroar crashes in through the ceiling, he gets up, somehow unharmed}

CHRIONROAR: Mr. Person's invention to fling idiots is awesome! I give it five ducks out of five! {Chrionroar brings out a stop sign and gobbles it} Oh hey there, Paper thing! Did yous get an exciting adventure?

{The Paper prints out more words reading, "No."}

CHRIONROAR: That's awesome. I was flung across the entire city! It was awesome!

{Chrionroar puts on a happy expression before walking offscreen}

Fun Facts

• Sirhcnoc stating the rejected rules of the duel is a minor reference to the Smash Bros. series, basically the way that most casual players poke fun at the competitive for repetitively choosing the same levels and characters over and over again, in this case Fox and Final Destination.
• There are a few fourth wall breakings in the email.