Con email.wue/122

Summary

Conchris creates a soda brand and fails on advertising it. Mr. Person's soda brand was successful but Sirhcnoc wants to say otherwise

Transcript

{Fade out to a now furnished computer room, the Owndy 777 sits on top of the desk in the middle, Conchris walks in and turns it on}

CONCHRIS: Email raps are so old now. Why do I even bother?

Soda -
Dear pros and cons,
If you were given the option to make a soda brand, what would it be??
Zoo977 {thats my name, im not a zoo with 977 people or animals, ok?}

{Conchris stares at the name for a while before saying:}

CONCHRIS: Wow... Did I just get emailed by the 977th Zoo? And I thought being emailed by the 9254th Zoo was enough. Ha ha! Only kidding! {typing} So, Mr. Zoo977, if I was given an option to make a soda brand it would be...

{Cut to a white screen, a cola can sits in the middle unbranded}

CONCHRIS: Some fruity... kind of soda. And uh... it would be called Fruity McDudey!

{Cut back to the computer room, Mr. Person is standing there}

MR. PERSON: That's an awful idea.

{Conchris turns to shout at Mr. Person}

CONCHRIS: WELL I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANYTHING BETTER!

MR. PERSON: OH I WILL! {runs off}

CONCHRIS: Stupid Mr. Person... Why did they have to rescue him anyway?

{Cut to the living room, Chrionroar walks in with a stop sign and places it somewhere offscreen, he then walks out, the same routine repeats itself even when Chrionroar is talking. Mr. Person walks in}

MR. PERSON: You there! Uh... Do you have any ideas for a name of a kind of soda?

CHRIONROAR: What? {bites off the top of a Stop Sign}

MR. PERSON: Name. Soda. Give me.

CHRIONROAR: Stop Soda!

MR. PERSON: Why... That's a great name! Thanks strange man!

{Mr. Person runs off, Chrionroar drops the sign he was carrying}

CHRIONROAR: Stop Soda?! MUST HAVE! {throws himself off-screen, a crashing sound is heard}

{Cut to the kitchen, Conchris is standing near the counter with the blender on it}

CONCHRIS: Alright! Let's get to work!

{Cut to a black screen with the words "5 hours later", the words fade out to the kitchen again after five seconds. Conchris is standing there with the blender broken and he is now splattered with fruit, a glass of fizzy fruity soda stands beside the now-broken blender, Cruroar comes in}

CRUROAR: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!

CONCHRIS: Making the most awesome soda of all time!

CRUROAR: Whatever, I think you should clean up first. I hear the inspectors come in about two weeks.

CONCHRIS: Who cares when I have an awesome soda brand?

CRUROAR: Gosh... I'm out of here... {walks offscreen}

CONCHRIS: Now I must clone this and sell it to the masses! {grabs the glass and runs off with it}

{Cut to another black screen with the words "A day later...", the words fade out to a stall with Mr. Person in it on the street, the sign up top says "Stop Soda!"}

MR. PERSON: Come get your Stop Soda here! I promise that the world will stop and gasp at you in amazement!

{Pan over to another stall with Conchris in it, the sign says "Fruit Mcdudey"}

CONCHRIS: This soda brand is so awesome even your grandchildren will want it!

{Pan back over to Mr. Person's stall, several people have lined up}

MR. PERSON: Yes, sir. Here you go. {hands the man a can of Stop Soda}

{Pan back to Conchris' stall, Conchris is beginning to look impatient}

CONCHRIS: AW COME ON! What does he have that I don't?!

{A man walks onscreen}

MAN: Dude... fruity sodas are so last season you know?

CONCHRIS: I got it! I'll sabotage the competition! Thanks random man from the street! {runs offscreen}

{Pan back over to Mr. Person's stall, the line from before has gotten shorter, Conchris runs onscreen, places a moustache on himself and walks up to Mr. Person}

CONCHRIS: {in a posh gentleman's accent} I say! I'd like to have some of that soda you have there!

MR. PERSON: Why sure, go right ahead. {hands Conchris a can of Stop Soda}

CONCHRIS: {to himself} Hmm... I've always wondered what this tastes like. {takes a swig of Stop Soda and then spits it out} Oh my goodness! This tastes just like my drink! {shouting} Mr. Person! You thief!

MR. PERSON: What?!

CONCHRIS: You stole my recipe and used it for your own! I'm suing you right here, right now!

MR. PERSON: But I would never do such a thing!

{Cut to a courtroom, the judge bangs his gavel}

JUDGE: Guilty!

MR. PERSON: Dang it!

JUDGE: As a result of being found guilty you, Mr. Person, must apologize to Conchris this instant!

MR. PERSON: Sorry...

JUDGE: Case dismissed! {bangs gavel}

{Cut to outside the courthouse, a cloaked person walks up to Conchris and Mr. Person}

CLOAKED PERSON: {in a creaky voice} Excuse me sir... but can you give me a can of Stop Soda?

MR. PERSON: Sure! {hands the cloaked person a can of Stop Soda, the cloaked person drinks it and he pulls down the cloak}

SIRHCNOC: HAH! I have fooled you! By touching this soda, I have made it infamous! HA HA HA!

CONCHRIS: Oh no! It's Sirhcnoc! My number 3 worst enemy!

SIRHCNOC: Number three? What the heck?

CONCHRIS: How could you made a soda brand infamous by DRINKING it?!

SIRHCNOC: Because I'm evil! Also I stole your soda as well...

CONCHRIS: Huh?

SIRHCNOC: Yes... with this soda, my Soda-Mech will be complete and everyone will be forced to drink vegetable juice for the rest of their lives! Bye! {a beam comes down and picks up Sirhcnoc, pan up, it reveals a giant robot with the words Soda-Mech on it}

SODA-MECH: DESTROY ALL HUMANS! {shoots a laser, cut to a soda factory, the laser hits the factory and it explodes}

{Cut back to the outside of the courthouse}

CONCHRIS: We got to do something before we all turn vegetarian!

MR. PERSON: Umm... How about the rice pudding catapult?

CONCHRIS: That's stupid enough to work!

{Cut to outside Conchris' house, Conchris and Mr. Person is standing beside a catapult loaded with rice pudding}

CONCHRIS: Now if I'm right, Sirhcnoc will come by any minute now... {Stomping from the soda-mech is heard}

{The Soda-Mech comes on screen, it turns to face the rice pudding catapult}

SODA-MECH: Opposing food item found! Firing mah lasers! {fires a laser at the rice pudding catapult and it explodes, the rice pudding flies up onto the soda-mech and it short-circuits} Food! Food! Ah! Get it off me! Daisy. Daisy. Why are you such a jerk?! ARGH! {The soda mech explodes, leaving behind a puddle of soda, Sirhcnoc splashes into it, injured}

CONCHRIS: Your villainry has ended Sirhcnoc! Now come with us and... {notices Sirhcnoc has disappeared} darn it.

{Cut to the sky, Sirhcnoc is slowly flying away}

SIRHCNOC: I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET! Wait... CONCHRIS! NEXT TIME!

CONCHRIS: YEAH SURE!

{Cut to the soda puddle, Chrionroar is licking it up}

CONCHRIS: Everything worked out after all!

{Mr. Person and Conchris starts laughing as the Paper comes down reading, "Click here to email Conchris!"}

CHRIONROAR: Road Soda! My favourite!

CONCHRIS: Please stop creeping me out, Chrionroar...