(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Wikihood1/Ep 4
Synopsis
The Anti-Episode.
NOXIGAR: I don't get the concept of an Anti-Episode. Is it just an Episode not taken as seriously as other episodes, that's done on purpose? That seems to be how most people see an Anti-Episode being. If that's the case, then I consider about 75% of South Park to be Anti-Episodes.
Transcript
COUNT X: Some title. Non-existant DOS Prompt. More like pop-up-a-mainia.
NOXIGAR: I think both of those are equally pretentious, so I won't argue which one has a catchier ring to it.
{A Pop-up for Strong Bad emails pops up.}
COUNT X: No way. More like...
{Count X snaps his fingers and the pop-up changes to X-Mail.eXe, then... Eric appears onscreen}
NOXIGAR: Wasn't Eric dead an episode ago? So much for continuity.
ERIC: Hey guys.
THE CODE: AAAH! IT'S A ZOMBIE!!
ERIC: What? I never was dead.
{Eric's corpse on the background sparkles}
ERIC: That was a robot. And how is X-Mail.exe running if it's just a blank space? It's not a DOS prompt. The terminal is screwed up.
NOXIGAR: What terminal?
Screwed up good.
COUNT X: I'll say. {pause} HEY! What's that black wall doing here?
{Pan over to a black wall neverending, reading "4th Wall".}
COUNT X: I'm going to break it.
NOXIGAR: I'M GONNA WRECK IT!
ERIC: NOOOOO!!!!! We're all going to be sucked into a black hole!!!!!!
NOXIGAR: Isn't there a better way to express emotion outside of abusing the exclamation point? I'm at a loss, clearly.
THE 386: Calm down! We won't be. Right, The Code?
{Both The Code and Eric are running around and screaming}
NOXIGAR: {Both The Code and Eric are running around and screaming like complete imbeciles, when instead they could be tying Count X up and lighting him on fire for his heresy.}
THE 386: QUIET! Jeez.
{intro, this time the song is TPIR94}
COUNT X: I'm still going to break it.
{Count X punches the 4th Wall and breaks it.}
{Everyone gets sucked on the black vortex. They appear on FCUSA.}
ERIC: Whoa.
{Homestar walks onscreen.}
HOMESTAR: Lookie, another 4th Wall.
NOXIGAR: Wait, why is Homestar noticing 4th walls?
{A cracking is heard, and a option box appears reading the following:}
Which admin should cameo?
- Joshua
- Ekul
- Markie
- The 386
NOXIGAR: How about none of the above? I really don't want to see any HRFWiki admin cameos in anything ever, since the time for them to be awkwardly shoehorned into things and be funny has long passed. You'll notice how even I, being late to the punchline like always, stopped doing that shit in 2009.
THE 386: I'm up for Markie.
ERIC: Tampo. I mean, Joshua.
{a Yoshi stands ahead, looking at Eric and The Code}
ERIC: What!
{the Yoshi gets closer, revealing that he is Markie}
NOXIGAR: {And the Yoshis were no longer capable of growing happier, because Eric sucked 'em dry of life.}
ERIC: AAAAH!! RUUNNN!!!! {Eric and The Code run in a cartoon-ish style}
{in an instant, The 386 brandishes his energy sword, Evil falls on op of him.}
EVIL: Ow… alright, who broke the fourth wall? {Evil gets up to reaveal himself having an underbite and no arms} What?
THE 386: The rest of you, don't... say... a... word. GET OFFA ME!
ERIC: G- gasp.
THE 386: Oof. Lemme reveal that he is... {pulls off evil's mask} Homestar?!
HOMESTAR: {in Evil's voice} What? I'm still wearing that mask? {takes the Homestar head off}
RICK: It's me, Rick, Rick Dynamite. Heh, heh. Just kidding. {takes off that face}
NOXIGAR: Hi, forgettable character from a piece of shit!
GRATE: Ha! Ha! It is me, Grate, who, now will take off his cloak to reaveal, that there was never a Grate! {takes off cloak to reveal that he is Techno}
BUBSTY: Random filler!
NOXIGAR: Read: Wikihoods 1 and 2 in a nutshell. Just remember, Lex. For every time you badmouthed about Wikihood Redux being terrible, those two Wikihood incarnations will trump anything at being terrible.
'Sup Techno. Ok, you may now resume to this scheduled bunch o' nonsense, already in progress.
{scene from Star Trek: The Next Generation materializes, then dark energy zaps it.}
NOXIGAR: Is it okay that the only thing I like about anything Star Trek is Spock, and therefore I can't feel pain from seeing it butchered to hell?
COUNT X: FINISH'D!
{Cut to white. Small sillouettes of Bubsty, Count X, Homestar, Techno, The 386, PieinBubsFace, Aussie Evil, Evil, Eric, Bassium, The Code and Markie, and two big fat men are standing above them.}
BFG No.1: {simutainiously} We're big fat men! BFG No.2: {simutainiously} We're big fat men!
{Count X's sillouette slides to the right, offscreen, and the big fat men body slam on Techno, The 386, PieinBubsFace, Aussie Evil, Evil, Eric, Bassium, The Code and Markie. Count X's sillouette sticks from the right.}
NOXIGAR: Hm. That takes care of every important Wikihood character, period.
COUNT X: Let me use this mirror.
NOXIGAR: Take a damn good look in that mirror, and realize what you've become.
{Cut to a bathroom. Count X is looking at himself at a mirror.}
COUNT X: Wow. I am so handsome!
NOXIGAR: Eh. At least Count X gets better as the episodes go by.
{Cut to black, where "To be Continued" appears on screen, with a "thoom" sound. Cut to a field.}
COW: Moo.
{Cut to black, where "To be Continued" appears on screen, with a "thoom" sound. Cut to Shadowy Figure's lair.}
SHADOWY FIGURE: Wha- Where'd the camera's come from?
{The camera's fizzle and cut to black, where "To be Continued" appears on screen, with a "thoom" sound. The latest Bonus Stage credits play, with Wikihood people replacing the BS people.}
END
NOXIGAR: Welp. This episode blows. I figured, since it was considered an Anti-Episode, that it'd manage to be good as opposed to bad. I guess it wasn't enough of an Anti-Episode after all.
NOTE: When the line is drawn, no going further, unless otherwise said.
{Noxigar goes further, simply because he felt like it.}
Talk
NOXIGAR: I'll just go back to Wikihood Redux, aka the Superior Wikihood.
