RiffText/AruseusEmails/spring

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Megan, Cody, Fiona

Places: Room 232

Computer: SkyPod

Date: February 8th, 2009

Transcript

{Cut to Aruseus' Dorm}

ARUSEUS: Aruseus went down to Georgia he was looking to check his mail...

NOXIGAR: You don't have to go to Georgia to check e-mails.

subject: okay

Dear Aruseus,
Since Spring Break is coming,
are you gonna party and meet some
girls?

-A Fan maned, Joe Ward of New Jersey

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Joe, spring break is only a month or so away here. I really have no idea! Maybe I'll take a vacation. Who knows?

TOM: Why not throw a party?

ARUSEUS: Nah, that's old.

NAMINE: OLD AS BALLS

TOM: Really? I was hoping for it.

ARUSEUS: Well, I guess we just kill time our entire break with muzak and vidja games!

NAMINE: Music and video games do not ever need to be spelt differently for comedic effect.

TOM: We do that EVERY year.

ARUSEUS: Well...well my plan was better!

TOM: Wait, look at the end of the email. Meeting girls?

ARUSEUS: Yeah...

NAMINE: As long as you don't do the stupid "use a dating site" tactic you should be fine.

TOM: Dude...it's been twenty years of your life and you still haven't got a girl! {bursts out laughing}

ARUSEUS: Hey! You're single too!

TOM: Me? Hell no! Jess is my girl!

ARUSEUS: But I thought Megan was your girlfriend!

TOM: I never dated Megan.

NAMINE: See, if this was clarified several episodes ago then maybe the writing for this one wouldn't be so horribly stodgy.

ARUSEUS: But...uh...um...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

TOM: Well, maybe you could go out with Megan.

ARUSEUS: That's true!

{Cut to the halls}

ARUSEUS: Megan, will you date me?

NAMINE: Wow, way to put her on the spot.

MEGAN: First of all, no. I don't take random ask outs, and two, I'm taken.

ARUSEUS: Pfft. By who? Link?

CODY: Ahem. Now let's go, Megan. I'll treat you to some nice eats tonight.

NAMINE: Nice eats?! Ugh, no wonder Arceus has no girlfriend. He's living in the '50s!

ARUSEUS: B...b-b-b-b-b-Cody...and...he has...a girlfriend?!

TOM: How did Cody get here anyway? Isn't he, like, 16? Starting to find his way? Got a new-

{Aruseus slaps Tom}

TOM: ...thanks.

NAMINE: I didn't understand the reference or why Tom was slapping Arceus.

ARUSEUS: Wow, we've got the most impossible pairings here. Austin has a girlfriend, Cody has a girlfriend, Jess still exists...

TOM: Wow. You're real pissy about this.

ARUSEUS: I guess I'll be a single man the rest of my life...

TOM: Dude, we're going to find you a girl.

NOXIGAR: Girlfriend let's not forget please don't objectify people pleaase please please.

NAMINE: Woah, when did you get here?
NOXIGAR: A few minutes ago, actually.
NAMINE: So, uh, in this episode Arceus is trying to get a girlfriend but is failing 'cause "the most impossible pairings" are happening.

NOXIGAR: It's probably a good thing I don't give a shit about relationships. Otherwise I'd probably bemoan the same problems our intrepid hero is bemoaning.

Promise.

ARUSEUS: Thanks, man.

{Cut to another hallway.}

TOM: {whispering} Now the first and most important thing when dating is that you don't want to just rush and ask them out. You need to get to know them first.

ARUSEUS: {whispering} Got it. I think I see one.

TOM: {whispering} Wait...who?

ARUSEUS: {whispering} The girl in the green outfit...

TOM: {whispering} With the glasses? Seems fine to...wait...I think she's with that buff tan guy.

ARUSEUS: {whispering} Dammit. Wait, I know just who to go for!

TOM: {whispering} Aruseus...wait!

{Cut to a locker, belonging to a white cat girl.

NOXIGAR: {tries to think up of something to say while gazing into the abyss} I-

Aruseus casually walks up.}

NOXIGAR: The only places a university would have lockers is...

{Noxigar blinks.}
NOXIGAR: Holy shit.
NAMINE: What?
NOXIGAR: Arceus must have stumbled into the different physical education locker rooms! Technically he's in the girls' locker area.
NAMINE: Isn't that illegal for a guy to just waltz in there without a medical reason?

NOXIGAR: I don't know, but when this kind of crap happens in movies, visual novels, and the such it usually ends badly.

ARUSEUS: Hi!

GIRL: Hello! You new here?

ARUSEUS: Not really that new. I'm a junior transfer. What about you?

NAMINE: Wait, wasn't he a freshman not too long ago?

GIRL: Sophomore transfer. Just came here two days ago. I'm kinda shy.

ARUSEUS: Shyness is just a state of mind. No need to worry...I'm a good guy.

NOXIGAR: OH SWEET MOTHER OF LOGIC NOT BAD PICK-UP LINES AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

GIRL: Hehe...thanks. Say, what's your name?

ARUSEUS: Aruseus Parker.

FIONA: Fiona Richards. Nice to meet you.

ARUSEUS: So...you think you wanna go see a movie later on this week?

FIONA: Sure! Any ideas on what to see?

ARUSEUS: No...but I'll think of it!

FIONA: Okay! Hey, wanna go to the food court?

ARUSEUS: I'll walk you there.

TOM: Hm. That should keep him off my back for a while.

NAMINE: I highly doubt it will.

{The Paper}

Easter Eggs

• At Tom's line where he says "Promise," click on him to make him do this.

Fun Facts

• The girl in green with the glasses and the buff tan guy are Beth and Justin of TDI.
• The explanation for the easter egg is that the song during those videos is actually called "Promise."
• Tom starts to say one of the lines in the opening to the Cartoon Network show 6Teen.

NAMINE: So not only was Total Drama Island used, but another bad Cartoon Network show was referenced as well?

NOXIGAR: Pretty much. Then again, I'm certain I dislike Cartoon Network shows more than you do.

NAMINE: That's true.