RiffText/AruseusEmails/summercamp

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Coach, Husk, Fenri, Hivolt

Places: Monstropolis University (Room 232, Soccer Field, Some other dorm, Room 257)

NAMINE: Wait, the episode's called summer camp and yet there's nothing here to suggest a summer camp happens.

Computer: SkyPod

Date: October 25th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Why can't I get me an email...or a taco...

NOXIGAR: Anytime I asked myself this I walked to the local Taco Bell and ordered 10 Tacos.

NAMINE: But you can't eat through your problems!
NOXIGAR: Just because I can't do something doesn't mean I won't try. That's the whole point. Everyone always says being bad at something is the first step to being good at something.
NAMINE: So wait does that mean Arceus gets better at this email show over time?
NOXIGAR: Emphasis on first step. There's a lot more to being bad at something in order to get good. I forget most of the other steps, unfortunately.

NAMINE: Please don't just eat through your depression... it saddens me.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

subject: good ones

Hey, Aruman!

To alleviate you of the cavalanche of crappy emails you're getting, allow me to write a good one

Sorry. Have you ever been to a summer camp?

- ZPP

NAMINE: ZPP?

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, I haven't been to a camp-camp, so to speak, with the outdoors and the marshmallows and the Dock of Shame and the Boat of-

TOM: Aruseus?

ARUSEUS: Yeees?

TOM: Total Drama Island isn't a summer camp.

NAMINE: It's also not a good program to watch.

ARUSEUS: Right, right. So, I have been to a soccer camp once, but...that's about it. I still remember it.

{Flashback to the soccer field of MU}

COACH: Come on, you guys! We're down by 3! Murray, quit foolin'! Parker, get your game face on! Husk, pull yourself together!

NAMINE: 'Cause those are all things coaches say at soccer fields of universities.

HUSK: {offscreen} Yes, coach.

{Flashforward}

ARUSEUS: Oh man. We SUCKED that year.

TOM: Hm. Well, I could tell you about a tech camp I went to. My God, it was fun.

{Flashback to Tom having a party in another dorm}

TOM: {drunk} WOOOOOOOOOO! BREAK IT DOWN! {hiccups, falls over}

{Flashforward}

TOM: She was so...HOT!

ARUSEUS: What was?

TOM: That gir-I MEAN...the...computer? YEAH! I nearly burned myself on the...erm...fan.

NAMINE: Tom getting laid is not news to me. At least one character in this email show has other people jumping his bones.
NOXIGAR: "Burned myself on the...erm... fan?" He's not exactly good at hiding his sexual exploits either. Trying to mask a girl's identity by saying she's a computer. Pffft.

ARUSEUS: Hm...maybe I'll go bug the others on their summer camps.

TOM: Good thing class is over. JEEZ. I hate my English teacher...

{Cut to Principal Harrison's office}

HARRISON: Sure. You are allowed to go into other's dorms, just don't disturb them too much. Also, knock first.

NOXIGAR: Okay, it's really starting to bug me that Arceus keeps writing in bland composite characters when he could establish some Residency Advisors.

ARUSEUS: Ok!

{Cut to the halls}

ARUSEUS: Now who the hell has gone to an interesting summer camp?

??????: Wait a sec...that voice...I recognize you!

ARUSEUS: What the...AUSTIN?!

AUSTIN: Yup.

ARUSEUS: I haven't seen you in years. How's it been?

AUSTIN: Peaceful...away from you.

ARUSEUS: {Upset} Seriously? {normal} Anyway, have you been to a summer camp that's interesting?

AUSTIN: No, but I know someone who has.

ARUSEUS: REALLY?!

AUSTIN: No.

NAMINE: I like Austin. I want to high-five this guy.

{Aruseus makes a face like this}

ARUSEUS: You disgust me.

{Aruseus leaves}

AUSTIN: Now...back to reminising on my "How to Make Out Right" Club days...

NAMINE: It's just too bad we're probably never going to see him again. {sighs}
NOXIGAR: Eh, I'm pretty sure there's some other antisocial possible-antagonist we can root for while this email show still lasts.

{Cut to room 257; Fenri and Hivolt's dorm. Aruseus knocks on the door}

FENRI: Oh, hey! What brings you here?

ARUSEUS: Did any of you guys ever go to a summer camp at all?

FENRI: I did! There were marshmallows, and Lemon-

ARUSEUS: Fenri?

FENRI: Yeees?

ARUSEUS: Total Drama Wiki Island isn't a summer camp.

NOXIGAR: It's also not a good idea for a Wiki User Fanstuff. At all.

FENRI: Oh.

HIVOLT: You did soccer camp, right, Aruseus?

ARUSEUS: Yep. And we-

BOTH: ...totally SUCKED that year.

ARUSEUS: Well, I don't think summer camps aren't that popular here...maybe I'll just call it a day and go get dinner.

FENRI: Can we come?

ARUSEUS: Sure. I'll go get Tom.

{The three walk out, The Paper comes down}

NOXIGAR: Maybe I'll just call it a day and go get dinner.

NAMINE: Can I come?

NOXIGAR: Sure. We don't have anybody else joining, so I'll call for pizza.