RiffText/AruseusEmails/triplemail7

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Wolf

Places: Aruseus' Room, Outside

Computer: SkyPod

Date: October 2nd, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: The Suite Life on Deck is officially the stupidest Disney spinoff. {clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: Eh, I found Disney channel to be pretty average in general.

subj: moos-tache

Aruman!

If you had yourself a mustache, do you think
life would be any different for you?

- ZPP

ARUSEUS: {typing} Hm...well...what would my life be like...well, only one way to find out.

{Cut to the Kitchen}

TOM: What the hell are you doing?

ARUSEUS: Rummaging through the drawers to find a marker.

TOM: Why do you need a marker?

ARUSEUS: I need a moos-tache.

NAMINE: moustache

TOM: ...what?

ARUSEUS: A mustache.

NAMINE: moustache

TOM: I'm...not even gonna bother.

{Tom leaves, Aruseus draws a moustache on his face}

NAMINE: At this point I'm not actually sure if I'm spelling moustache correctly.

ARUSEUS: Ok. Let's see if it changes my life any way.

{Aruseus walks out of the house, Wolf sees him}

WOLF: Aruseus, you got a little something on your face. Well, it's hard to tell since your face is dark.

ARUSEUS: Oh, that's my moo-stache.

WOLF: Dude, you look...

ARUSEUS: Awesome? Handsome? Cooler?

WOLF: Like a friggen idiot.

NAMINE: Took the words right out of my mouth.

ARUSEUS: What?

WOLF: It makes you look dumb.

ARUSEUS: How?

WOLF: Well, I'd never be caught dead if I was walking around with a magic marker mustache.

ARUSEUS: How do you know it's magic marker?

WOLF: Because 1, you told me, and 2, I can smell it. In fact... {woozy} I can smell it alot... Woah...I'm {bleep}ing tripping out. Look at all the pretty Metools- {faints}

ARUSEUS: Woah. I better get rid of this.

{Cut back to Aruseus room}

ARUSEUS: {typing} So, ZPP, I figured out my moo-stache trips people out. So...bye.

{The Paper, fade to black}

ARUSEUS: HA! You seriously thought I was doing another triple email? Ehe...I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm not doing three emails now. Those are like, so season 3. Wait? Isn't it season 3? Well, not anymore. Next email's gonna be the big one-zero-zero. That's right, 100. So...anyway, keep your hats on for email 100 and the Season 4 to follow. See ya guys, you've been a great audience.

NAMINE: This is another underwhelming email; if it were a triple email you could have done more emails and made a more coherent story.

{Noxigar arrives onscreen.}
NOXIGAR: Now I know why I bothered with Arceus Emails in the first place!
NAMINE: What?
NOXIGAR: I liked most Wiki User and Non-Homestar Runner Character email shows ironically.
NAMINE: Enlighten me.
NOXIGAR: The irony comes from the fact while most of them repulse me, I don't outright hate the Email Show in question (like this one for instance). In fact, after the five years it's been since Ryan Bluefox has been gone I've still been able to like his stuff despite not having a proper reason to do so, but instead multiple reasons to dislike them!
NAMINE: That's probably some of the dumbest logic I've heard. And yet, I find no reason to refute it.
NOXIGAR: Exactly. You like my argument ironically! It also explains how people like other things, such as my liking of the webcomic Questionable Content, ironically!

NAMINE: I'm still skeptical of it, don't get me wrong, but okay.

{The Paper again}

Fun Facts

• Why do I need to do these?

NAMINE: Because Email Shows have Fun Facts?