RiffText/AruseusEmails/brother

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Lucas Aura, Van, Tex Aura

Places: Aruseus' Room

Computer: SkyPod

Date: September 19th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Give me liberty, or a bran-muffin! {clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: No, the quote is "Give me liberty, or give me death."
NAMINE: And if you were trying to tie the quote in to the email, wouldn't it be "Give me liberty, or give me email?"

subject: You know him.

Aruseus, is it?
Look. I'm Lucas Aura's older bro. I'm coming to live with him after
we've been split for 10 years. I do warn you...I had an accident so to speak, so please don't make fun of me.

See ya,
Tex Aura

ARUSEUS: Wait, HUH? He made ANOTHER character?

NAMINE: Acknowledging the problem does not instantaneously mean it gets solved.

ME: {offscreen} Sorry!

ARUSEUS: {typing} So...you're Lucas' bro, eh? Well, according to the master of the house, you're welcome here.

{Aruseus walks off. Cut to the Kitchen}

ARUSEUS: So...you have a brother.

LUCAS: Yep. Too bad he got caught in a freak accident.

ARUSEUS: Do you know anything about this...accident?

LUCAS: Well...he kinda got-

ARUSEUS: He's a mangled mess, ain't he.

LUCAS: No!

ARUSEUS: Steven Hawking wheelchair?

LUCAS: No...

ARUSEUS: NORMAL wheelchair?

LUCAS: Well, you could say his legs don't work for him.

ARUSEUS: Well, tell me.

LUCAS: Well, he-

{doorbell}

LUCAS: Must be him.

NAMINE: That's one speedy introduction and one speedy doorbell ringing.

ARUSEUS: I'll get the shotgun!

NAMINE: what

LUCAS: Wait! ARUSEUS!

{Aruseus runs to the door with a shotgun and opens it up. Van is there with groceries}

VAN: Hi, Aru-

{Aruseus shoots Van in the chest, killing him}

'NAMINE: Yeah, this is stupid. I don't care if it's a joke from somewhere else (Wikihood III), you don't just randomly kill a character whom you introduced for this Season.

ARUSEUS: FOR THE HONOR OF GREYSKULL!

LUCAS: ARUSEUS! WHAT THE {beep} WERE YOU THINKING!? Y-Y-YOU JUST KILLED VAN!

ARUSEUS: WOOLOOLOOLOO-what? Oh, him? He dies in, like, every episode of Wikihood. He'll come back in the next episode.

LUCAS: True.

NAMINE: But this isn't Wikihood. So... that logic would go out the window in Arceus Emails. Wouldn't it?

{Tex hops in, Aruseus' jaw hits the floor}

TEX: Sup, bro?

LUCAS: Glad you could make it.

ARUSEUS: He...he's...

TEX: Yup. Got caught in a fight with Metal Man himself or something like that. Don't quite remember.

ARUSEUS: Dude...he's like your...{snicker} half-brother.

{Tex jumps up to punch Aruseus in the gut}

NAMINE: I like Tex already.

ARUSEUS: Oof! Jeez...well, he ain't got half your strength.

TEX: Damn right.

{The Paper}

NAMINE: What exactly was the point of this email? I'm lost because it's so short, and Tex Aura hardly gets any depth other than a potentially tragic backstory about him being in a wheelchair and having difficulties with his legs. I mean, props for that, but everything else about this email is lost on me.

Fun Facts

• Van actually dies a lot in Wikihood III.