RiffText/AruseusEmails/grandpa

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Van, Megan, Grandpa Aruseus

Places: Aruseus' Room

Computer: SkyPod

Date: September 4th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {singing} I never had to check email, but I know someone who had, and I was wonderin' if I could... {clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: My answer is you could, but you shouldn't, check email.

subject: Comin Over

Hey, Sonny!
I'm coming over to town, Aruseus.
Better get ready, Sonny!

Hello,
Grampa Aruseus

ARUSEUS: {typing} What? My old gramps is coming over? Sweet! I get to see the grizzeled war veteran again! Hey, Tom!

TOM: What?

ARUSEUS: My grandpa is coming to visit! He's a real fun guy to be around!

TOM: Wait...but I thought you hated your grandpa.

ARUSEUS: What?!

TOM: Isn't he the one who dances alot?

ARUSEUS: Oh. Him. No, that guy's my great-grandfather. A little more like "not-so-great" to me.

NAMINE: Understanding Arceus' family tree is futile.

TOM: Hm. I'm actually interested that you're not trying to blow the house up this time.

ARUSEUS: Nope!

{Doorbell}

ARUSEUS: EEE! He's here!

NAMINE: A squee of such nature is largely unfitting of a demigod.

{Aruseus runs to the Living Room, opening up the door. Van is there with groceries}

ARUSEUS: Hey there, grandpa...Van.

VAN: Hey! I'm just bringing home some snacks.

ARUSEUS: Oh. Ok.

NAMINE: He said, with intense disappointment.

{Doorbell again}

ARUSEUS: Ooh! OOH!

{He opens the door to see Megan}

NAMINE: And the joke about people ringing the door and not being Arceus' grandpa gets old instantaneously.

ARUSEUS: Hi, Megan. Where were you?

MEGAN: Clothes shopping! {holds up a black shirt with a Twilight Princess style design}

ARUSEUS: Pfft. You and your Zelda.

NAMINE: {imitating Arceus} Pff, you and your constant being-a-generic-gamer-girl character-simply-because-everyone-in-Arceus-Emails-has-to-be-a-gamer.

??????: Am I late, grandson?

ARUSEUS: Pop!

{Aruseus comes to hug his grandfather, a middle-aged Aruseus wearing a plaid vest and leather pants}

GRANDPA: Well, if it isn't my grandson! How ya been all these years?

ARUSEUS: I've been good! I've decided to move out and find a place of my own, and that's where this house comes in, this house is all owned by me and my chums. That's Tom over there, the original owner of this house...

TOM: Yo.

ARUSEUS: That's Van...

VAN: Hey!

ARUSEUS: And there's Tom's girlfriend, Megan!

TOM: What?!

NAMINE: And I will never know what happened to Jess? :(

MEGAN: Hi!

TOM: But she...she's not my girlfriend.

GRANDPA: Wow! Of all the 60 years of my life I'm glad to have seen my grandson become a successful young man!

ARUSEUS: Where are my parents now? How are they without me?

GRANDPA: They miss you very much, but at the same time, they'll be very proud to hear of your success!

NAMINE: Translation: "Good riddance. Our son is such a schmuck that we actually DON'T miss him, and whether or not he's successful in life is irrelevant to our elation in his absence."

ARUSEUS: Thank you, pop!

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

Apparrently, The Polka-Man is Aruseus' great-grandpa.

NAMINE: No, that's not a Fun Fact. That's a gigantic asspull resultant of sheer laziness.