RiffText/AruseusEmails/tragedies

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Emerl, Wolf

Places: The Beach,

Computer: SkyPod

Date: August 8th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: I hear Ryan's making a new character to appear when I get home. I want to meet him so bad.

NAMINE: Will this new character be as one-dimensional as you, Tom, Fang, and all the others that Ryan's already made who, if properly patched up, would actually be passable individuals?

NAMINE: I'm not even kidding. Tom and Jess would be colossally easy to write better since they're average people. Not to mention that Wolf and co. could be scrapped, salvaged, then melded into one character.
NOXIGAR: I think I tried that with Oiracul DuFour already.

NAMINE: Oiracul can't be easily connected to any character Ryan Bluefox has made, though. All Oiracul is is a cleric who contracted lycanthropy.

EMERL:...{FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}

ARUSEUS: Quiet, you!

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

Hi, aruseus.

Look, I just got some tragic news, and I need to go somewhere to get my mind off it. Where do you think I should go?
Zoo977

ARUSEUS: {typing} What do I look like, a friggen therapist? I'm not gonna help you with your friggen problem.

NAMINE: Apparently "fucking" isn't the term he wants to use, so he conjures up some artificial swearing and looks more infantile than he already appears.

WOLF: Then I guess Mr. Newguy will have to wait.

NAMINE: I like how they just assume that the new character Ryan makes is going to be male. I would love for them to be proven wrong, even though it's been indirectly shown before how Ryan can make female characters.

ARUSEUS: Oh, I see. Well, Let's wing it so he can get here faster. Let's help Zooman with his problem.

WOLF: Ok.

ARUSEUS: Ok. My favorite method of getting rid of tragic thoughts is to overload myself with lots and lots of video games. And good ones too, like Brawl.

WOLF: Especially if you're angry at someone. If I need to relieve stress, I take it out on Fox.

ARUSEUS: What about Falco?

WOLF: Meh, Falco hates Fox too, so I go easy on him.

ARUSEUS: A'ight then. Wait a sec...

WOLF: What?

ARUSEUS: He said, "Where should I go."

NAMINE: Good thing you read the email out loud before responding to it so you don't get confused on the wording of the email.

WOLF: Whoops. Erm...

ARUSEUS: I think you could go down the shore with your friends, like we are!

WOLF: Yup! It's fun here, too!

ARUSEUS: And if you need information on what to do here, check out email 51!

WOLF: Or 77!

NAMINE: What? No re-establishing these locations and maybe sprucing up any plot holes you crafted within them?
NAMINE: I've already mentioned that the writing is excessively lazy.

ARUSEUS: This has been an episode of Dr. Parker and Dr. O'Donnel!

WOLF: See us next week.

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

• The names "Dr. Parker and Dr. O'Donnel" reference Dr. Phil.