RiffText/AruseusEmails/football

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Wolf

Places: The Boardwalk, The Beach

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: August 1st, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {singing} Shaaaaaaaaaaaaake your booty...Email domination!

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

subject: football

Aruseus; mah main man,

I want to make sure if you play any football?
Please be a football player? if you do, we'll
love you.

-Paul mcAlba

ARUSEUS: {typing} Oh no, Paul McAlba, no Paul McAlba, no. There's noooooooooooo way I will play football for you.

WOLF: Why not?

NAMINE: {imitating Arceus} Because only dumb jocks play football and I'm not a dumb jock!

ARUSEUS: I suck at it. I don't know a thing.

WOLF: Listen, I'll teach you.

ARUSEUS: Really?

WOLF: Yeah. To the beach!

{They hop the fence behind them. You hear a thud}

WOLF: Ow...need to work on my landing...

{Cut to the Beach}

WOLF: Ok. So...here's the ball.

{Wolf pulls out a soccer ball}

NAMINE: This already isn't funny, and I don't even grasp how the punchline's going to work out.

ARUSEUS: Uh...Wolf?

WOLF: Now, what you do is you have two goals, and you need to kick this ball into the other goal.

ARUSEUS: Wolf, that's-

WOLF: Now in each goal, there is a goalie. He can pick up the ball with his hands while the other players can't.

ARUSEUS: That...that's not-

WOLF: Look, what are you trying to say?

ARUSEUS: That's soccer.

NAMINE: Which is commonly known as football outside of the United States.

WOLF: Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of England. I don't know a thing.

{Aruseus kicks the ball into Wolf's head and leaves}

WOLF: Ow...do I always get hurt?

{A Mr. Weight falls on Wolf}

{Cut to the Arcade, Ryan is playing Megaman: The Power Battle}

RYAN: Die, Crashman!

ARUSEUS: Hey Ryan!

RYAN: Kinda busy now...

NAMINE: That's not being busy. At all.

ARUSEUS: Ok. {leaves}

{Cut to the Shorehouse, Dan is recording himself singing "Video Killed The Radio Star" at a high pitch. He is also wearing a wig}

ARUSEUS: Not even gonna ask...

{Cut back to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, I can't play football. So...go away.

{The Paper}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "well" to bring up this video.

NAMINE: Agh, no! The horrors of speeding things up to make them sound Chipmunk-ish! Why? Why?

Fun Facts

• Good Deal Dan is known on Youtube for gracing his friends with double-time songs.
• OBLIGATORY MICAH REFERENCE.

NAMINE: What MICAH reference?