RiffText/AruseusEmails/lifeordeath

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Wolf, Roy Jr.

Places: The Boardwalk

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: June 28th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Sure was nice of Dan to let us stay at his shorehouse.

WOLF: Yep.

ARUSEUS: Isn't this great? No more threats from Strong Bad, no more Depressio, and no more King of Town!

WOLF: And you know what? Now that I'm out of here, listen to what I have to say!

ARUSEUS: What?

WOLF: Damn straight!

NAMINE: Oh, bugger. I forgot that language filtering was a necessity during the time this was in the HRFWiki.

NAMINE: The lack of a language filter is at least one improvement from pre-Season 3 Arceus Emails.

NAMINE: A, in retropsect, minor improvement. But an improvement nevertheless.

ARUSEUS: They changed that too? Sweet.

WOLF: So...what do you want to do?

ARUSEUS: Well, I've got email to check. Good thing there's this bench.

WOLF: And good thing you can somehow get wireless connection here.

ARUSEUS: {singing} Checking emails down the shore, I want more, I want more!

NAMINE: Arceus, you always want more.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

subject: Tree

Dear asuseus,
I am skydiving, and my parachute isnt working. have you ever been in a life-or-death experience?
Zoo977
(P.S. I wouldnt go into your living room for the next 37 seaconds)

ARUSEUS: {typing} Wait, how could you be typing this email while skydiving?

NAMINE: Because Zoo finished skydiving.

Whatever. Yes, Zoo. I've been in many life or death experiences, or LODEs. It's called driving. Ever wonder why Roy Jr's not on this show anymore?

WOLF: You mean...you...

NAMINE: Wait, Roy Jr. died?
NAMINE: I bet it's going to be some anticlimactic reason, though.

ARUSEUS: {sigh} Yes.

{flashback to two years, Aruseus is on the road with Roy Jr. in the passengers seat}

ARUSEUS: Ok, and we just make the next turn and we'll be-

{Sputtering noise}

ARUSEUS: Crap. I got a flat. Hold on.

{flashforward to today}

NAMINE: Did Roy Jr. die, or not?

WOLF: Wait, he didn't die or get injured?

ARUSEUS: No. I got a flat tire and he came to his dad's deli late.

WOLF: That's not a life-or-death experience!

ARUSEUS: It was for him. Did you see how pissed Roy was?

NAMINE: Let me guess: Arceus called child support services on Roy, thus writing him out of the show, too? Or is there a lazier way of saying "Roy's not on the show anymore because x?"

WOLF: You sure we could say that?

ARUSEUS: Damn, pissed, it's all pre-teen talk.

WOLF: Oh.

NAMINE: Let Wolf enjoy himself, at least.

ARUSEUS: {typing} So in your response, Zoo, if you want to see an LODE, go to either email 24, 45, 55, or 70. Oh, and 75.

NAMINE: CONTINUITY

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

NONE FACTS!

NAMINE: "Sheer laziness!"