RiffText/AruseusEmails/cleaning

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Sheng Long, Strong Sad, Coach Z

NAMINE: I must defeat everyone in the cast of this email in order to stand a chance.

Places: Computer Room, Flying Ice Zone, Sports Field

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: June 3rd, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {singing} Micah claims he's faaaaaast, you gotta really know if he is right...Close your eyes and it's here, the email of my liiiiiiiiiife... {stops} Ok, fans...since I have more than 3 emails and I don't feel like doing a triple email, I'll clean out my inbox. Here we go, email one.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

Subject: lost

Yo Aruseus,

My bro's b-day is coming up, and I dunno what to get him.
Can you help?

Strong I.

NAMINE: Hey, Strong Intelligent. Good to see you!

NOXIGAR: Arceus Emails back then was popular enough where this spring cleaning episode was justifiable. Not justified, though, in that Ryan Bluefox did this to death already.

NAMINE: The answer to a question I never asked.

ARUSEUS: {typing} I know what you should get him. Get him what he actually wants, you fool! Ask him what he wants for his birthday, then get it! It's simple as that, Strong Dumb! {stops typing} Ok, email dos.

Subject: powers

Dear The Awesome One They Call Aruseus,

If you're an anthro God Pokemon, then do you have any kind of powers at all?

The Unpronouncable Name

ARUSEUS: I'm sure you've seen my power to create small things, like game discs, right? Well, I have powers. Powers to delete your email! DELETED!

PWNAGE!

NAMINE: "PWNAGE?" Eesh, you should get your computer checked if it's using dated phrases. What's next, "Gag me with a spoon?"

ARUSEUS: Awriiiiiight. Email number three.

<font=times new roman>>--<-@ - get me outta this box!</font>

Auserus,
Have you ever written a song?
Xaviar

ARUSEUS: Oh, I've written songs. I just wrote one how I DELETED your email! HA!

THIS IS A SONG!

ARUSEUS: I swear I've had two episodes before like this one.

NAMINE: I think it was three, but then again I might be miscounting.

subject: sheng long

Aruseus,

You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance!

Patrick

ARUSEUS: Ok. I'll go defeat Sheng Long.

{Cut to Flying Ice Zone, Sheng Long is running at Aruseus}

SHENG LONG: RAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

{Aruseus flicks Sheng Long, causing him to fall over}

ANNOUNCER: ARUSEUS WINS.

ARUSEUS: I stand a chance.

NAMINE: He said, yawning from the boredom of defeating Sheng Long. Arceus then looked up to the sky, and wondered when there would be someone more formidable than Sheng Long.

{Cut back to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: Here we go, fifth email.

subject: sports

What kind of sports do you play?

Funstar Player

ARUSEUS: {typing} Oh wow, an email that isn't worth deletion. Well, I do play sports. I've been playing Peg Strong Sad for years. In fact, Coach wants me to be there by four, and it's 3:57! Crap! {runs out}

{Cut to the Sports Field, Aruseus is pegging Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: Oof! Ow!

ARUSEUS: You see, Funstar? This is a sport!

{Coach Z walks up to Aruseus as he's pegging Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: OW!

COACH Z: This is great! A++! {Coach Z pronounces it "A plors plors"}

NAMINE: Wait, Arceus pegging Strong Sad is a sport? I thought it was a sex euphemism.

NOXIGAR: It is. Although, given this is Ryan Bluefox we're talking about, it's probably unintentional. Also, if it were intentional, Coach Z would be a bigger creepy pervert than he already was in canon.
NAMINE: The answer to a question- wait, I did ask that indirectly, didn't I?

NOXIGAR: Yes.

ARUSEUS: Um...you realize this isn't school, right?

STRONG SAD: Ouch!

ARUSEUS: Hehe...

NAMINE: This already an entertaining episode and there's no context to all this pegging.

{Strong Sad picks up a dodgeball and pegs Aruseus}

NAMINE: MY JOKES MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
{Unlike when Noxigar did this joke, Namine doesn't cry.}

ARUSEUS: Ow!

STRONG SAD: REVENGE!

COACH Z: Oop! You lorst. F--.

ARUSEUS: Crap.

{The Paper}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Strong Sad, Aruseus, or Coach Z to peg them.

NAMINE: What if I don't want to peg any of them?

If they are hit, they'll say the following:

STRONG SAD: Ow! Hey!

ARUSEUS: Oof! Now I'll never pass gym...

COACH Z: Orf! Hey, I'm the coach!