RiffText/AruseusEmails/yearbook

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Wolf, Marzipan

Places: Computer Room, Aruseus' Room, Kitchen

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: May 30th 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {rapping} I do a little this, and I do a little that, lemme tell you now, email's where it's at!

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

subject: Yearbook

Dear kid whos yearbook i wanna vandalise aruseus,
Tomorrow, my class is getting our yearbooks, but only 7 kids dont treat me like a garbage can. What should I do to ruin their yearbooks?

zoo977 Wall-e

ARUSEUS: {typing} Wall-e? What kind of name is that? You sound like a distant cousin of...um...R.O.B. Well, anyways, Wall-e, you're in luck. I still have some old yearbooks from my early highschool years that can help me teach you.

{Cut to Aruseus' Room, Aruseus is rummaging through his closet throwing several things, such as a Kick the Cheat toy, several T-shirts, and the leg of Fang Wolf}

NAMINE: Arceus has the leg of Fang Wolf because it's a memento.

ARUSEUS: Where is it!?

TOM: Aruseus, just what in the name of Dan Green are you doing!?

ARUSEUS: Uh uh uh! That's famous voice actor slash musician slash international heartthrob Dan Green to you!

NAMINE: OR to people like me who don't give a damn about Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, it's "That's Dan Green to you!"

TOM: Fine...what in the name of famous voice actor slash musician slash international heartthrob Dan Green are you doing...

ARUSEUS: Aha!

{Tom gets hit with Aruseus' yearbook}

NAMINE: Already this email is better than the previous 71. Just because of this one portion of the script. Let's see how long my elation lasts.

TOM: OW!

ARUSEUS: Here it is!

TOM: I see...

{Cut to Aruseus and Wolf sitting at a table in the kitchen}

ARUSEUS: The next step is to choose one of three methods for yearbook vandilization. Let's start with method one: the classic, "drawing all over them" method.

WOLF: Let's vandalize Marzipan's picture!

NAMINE: Hang on a sec. I thought because this is over at the WUW that Homestar Runner characters weren't an outright mandatory part of Arceus Emails?
NAMINE: Eh, it makes no difference in the end, considering this is already a show whose premise is lifted from Strong Bad wholesale.

{Cut to a view of the yearbook, Marzipan has a nose}

WOLF: Let's erase that nose. Carefully...

{Aruseus manages to erase the nose}

MARZIPAN: {from behind them} You do realize that's what I look like now, right?

ARUSEUS: Oh...um...well...

MARZIPAN: Tee hee! You guys are such idiots. {walks off}

NAMINE: Marzipan would never "Tee-hee" at any rate. And she'd never be that blunt in calling people "idiots."

ARUSEUS: Um...method two...Take the best kid in school and make him look good on the first few pictures, then blow his reputation on the last page!

WOLF: Let's try to find who was voted Class Adonis, or the hottest boy in school.

NAMINE: ...Adonis?

NOXIGAR: THIS GIVES ME A CHARACTER IDEA FOR WIKIHOOD! OR FOR ANYTHING ELSE!

NAMINE: No.

{They flip through several pages}

ARUSEUS: Here it...is...dude, we can't do this.

WOLF: Why not?

ARUSEUS: The Class Adonis was...Fang. It would be wrong to do this.

NAMINE: If you wanted to end the email anticlimactically, you could still have Arceus break down in tears upon realization that the Class Adonis was Fang. After all, it's already traumatized him so much to distance him from nearly every friend he's had from Season 2.

WOLF: Ok. Time for plan B.

ARUSEUS: Look for the runner up?

WOLF: Yup. Hmm...

ARUSEUS: Ok, this time we have to do this.

WOLF: Why? Who is it? Oh...

{They both give a sly grin}

BOTH: Tom.

{Cut back to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: {typing} So you see, Wally Wally Oxenfree, that's the proper way to vandalize your friends notebook. Take a look.

{Aruseus holds up Tom's yearbook page, it says "Congratulations, Tom!" in typed text, and written below it says "We just love your Usuki collection!" The Paper then comes down}

NAMINE: ...Usuki?

NOXIGAR: THIS GIVES ME AN IDEA FOR WIKIHOOD! OR FOR ANYTHING ELSE!

NAMINE: No.

Fun Facts

• Wall-e is actually a character in a new PIXAR film coming out. He's a little robot, and he reminds me of R.O.B. sort of.
• Marzipan having a nose references her 15th Answering Machine.
• Usukis are a collection of toys featured on Neopets site They're little Usul dolls dressed up in different outfits.

NAMINE: Oh. Well, I guess Adonis will still be a mystery to me.