RiffText/AruseusEmails/stuff

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Wolf O' Donnel, Bubs, Strong Bad (Tragic Clown Dog), The Cheat, Strong Mad

Places: Aruseus' Room, Computer Room,

NAMINE: How unusual. Normally you segue into more than two places to artificially increase the running time of your email responses. You often throw a Homestar Runner-based area and then that's that.

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: March 5th, 2008

Transcript

{Cut to Aruseus' room, Aruseus is on the bed looking excited}

ARUSEUS: Four more days...FOUR MORE DAYS!

WOLF: What are you talking about?

ARUSEUS: Shouldn't you know? You were a character!

NAMINE: Great, a Brawl joke that I didn't get until it smacked me in the head.

WOLF: Oh, that. Well, there's an email to check.

ARUSEUS: Sweet.

{Cut to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: Screw the rules, I have email!

NAMINE: It's probably a good thing that, after 2009, quoting Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series was considered an act of total mediocrity.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

Subject: stuff

Dear Aruseus,
You rock man. And I was wondering, how do you get all that fancy stuff? Do you have some sort of well-paid job? If so, do you plan on getting cool new games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band?

From, your fan,
Joe Palmer

Dallas, Texas

ARUSEUS: Rock man? I'm no rock-man!

NAMINE: Hey, at least he makes fun of the punctuation and spelling of this email.

WOLF: I think he means that you rock.

ARUSEUS: Why thank you, O'Donnel!

WOLF: How'd I get stuck with such an idiot?

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, my job isn't that well-paid, but it sure beats Strong Bad's! My jorb is part-time matinence

NAMINE: Writing coherent sentences and spelling words correctly aren't your strong suits, are they?

at Bubs. Whenever he's out somewhere else getting stuff to sell, I run it for him!

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, Aruseus is with Bubs}

NAMINE: Accurate telling of which places the email show will occur at isn't your strong suit, is it?

BUBS: Listen up, I gotta get merch. You run the store. Poke fun at Strong Bad and you get paid double.

ARUSEUS: Sweet.

{Zoom out to see Strong Bad in his Tragic Clown Dog costume}

ARUSEUS: Hey, TCD! Your fly's unzipped!

STRONG BAD: I'll give you five bucks if you kill the fluffy man!

NAMINE: Uh, which fluffy man? This statement makes no sense.

{The Cheat walks up to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, man. Where did I go wrong?

STRONG MAD: {offscreen} KEEP IT ROLLIN'!

NAMINE: And it was then that Ryan Bluefox dodged the possible Limp Bizkit reference and thus saved the email from being even more dated.

THE CHEAT: {giggling mehs}

{Cut back to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: Well, my job's awesome and I'm awesome. See y'alls!

WOLF: You seen Sonic and Lucario anywhere?

ARUSEUS: Oh yeah! They left.

WOLF: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

NAMINE: This is not how you end an email. However, considering this episode was awful and boring, ending it was probably the right thing to do regardless.

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

I'm not good with these things...

NAMINE: Fun Facts aren't your strong suit, are they?