RiffText/AruseusEmails/amongbrawlers

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, H44WP, Lyle Strong Bad, Sonic, Wolf O' Donnel, Lucario, Tom

NAMINE: Have I mentioned I played Super Smash Bros. Brawl today?

Places: Computer Room, The Stick, Onett, TLA Living Room

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: February 16th, 2007

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Aruseus Crossing, Population: Email!

NAMINE: Have I mentioned I also play games besides Super Smash Bros. Brawl today?

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

Subject: Among Brawlers

Dear Aruseus,
If you could live for a day with three of your favorite Brawl Characters,
who would you choose?

Sakurai

ARUSEUS: {typing} My god, when am I going to get an email that's not from another freakin' Pokemon!? Well, Darkrai,

NAMINE: I don't understand the word association taken to get from Sakurai, the creator of the Smash Bros. franchise, to Darkrai. They both sound so phonetically different that the joke neither makes sense nor is funny on its own merit.

I guess the only problem with this is...

{Aruseus turns to the window to see H44WP outside}

ARUSEUS: Lyle, get the shotgun.

LYLE: {offscreen} Oui! Meh!

ARUSEUS: {typing} We gotta keep the Homestar level up, or else...lawsuits.

NAMINE: Lawsuits? The most he'll do is just tell you to incorporate more Homestar Runner elements in the emails. You already force them once an email anyway, so the point of him 1.6-ing your Email Show is moot.

{Cut to the Stick}

STRONG BAD: So I see you're going away.

ARUSEUS: Yep.

STRONG BAD: Well, who's going to take care of the house?

STRONG BAD: The paycheck for my presence on Aruseus Emails and other stuff was totally not worth it, in hindsight.

NAMINE: Be lucky that after this email we get to go on a romantic evening.
STRONG BAD: That's not appropriate payment. That's just you treating me to something nice.
NAMINE: Yep. But it also allows me to stop by a nearby ATM to get you payment for being on this riff of Aruseus Emails.
STRONG BAD: Point noted. Also, you look good in white. I don't see why you had to wear a red dress to the date.
NAMINE: It matches your mask and boxing gloves.
{Strong Bad shrugs}

STRONG BAD: Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

ARUSEUS: Eh, Tom'll get it.

STRONG BAD: Well, good luck. Don't get yourself killed.

{Cut to Onett, Aruseus walks up to a house.}

????: Fox, if that's you, you're dead.

{The door opens to reveal Wolf O' Donnel (Not to be confused with Wolf from email 13) with his Blaster pointed at Aruseus}

ARUSEUS: Oh shnaz...

WOLF: Oh...you're not Fox. Sonic! We have a guest!

SONIC: Really? Hey!

ARUSEUS: Name's Aruseus.

LUCARIO: Yo, man.

ARUSEUS: So...I'm sent here to live with you for the night...

WOLF: Actually, as CD-I Link would say, "It sure is boring around here."

SONIC: Yeah, how about we come with you for...a week.

NAMINE: As if Sonic would use William Shatner ellipses so casually. Or any ellipses, for that matter.

ARUSEUS: Um...okay.

{Cut to the TLA Living Room, the doorbell rings}

TOM: Hey, Aruseus! And...who the crap are you guys?

ARUSEUS: Some Brawl characters want to live with us for a week.

WOLF: I'm housebroken.

TOM: Ok, fine. But no other Smashers. Only these three.

NAMINE: I'm pretty sure that's Aruseus' top three Brawlers, as was the entire point of the email.

ARUSEUS: Kay! You guys are going to have so much fun.

{The Paper comes down}

Fun Facts

• I'll try not to break 1.6 with these guys around.

NAMINE: You already tried so hard to not break 1.6 and ultimately it makes the characters fall on their faces into a chasm filled to the brim with chainsaw katanas.