RiffText/AruseusEmails/decemberween

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Christmas Critters, Squirrley Squirrel, Bubs

NAMINE: Wait, is an Animaniacs character really in this episode or is that my memory deceiving me?

Places: TLA Living Room, Computer Room, Tom's Room, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: December 24th, 2007

NAMINE: Given Christmas Critters was in the cast, the timing of this episode couldn't have been any more precise.
NAMINE: Decemberween Eve.

Transcript

{Aruseus is sitting on the couch o the TLA Living Room with a remote and a bag of chips}

TOM: {offscreen} Come on! You have to check an email! It's almost Decemberween!

ARUSEUS: No! I'm on break! {turns on TV}

{Cut to the screen, South Park is on, Episode: Woodland Critter Christmas}

NAMINE: Why you'd choose to watch horrible Christmas specials in a decidedly average comedy show is beyond me.

NOXIGAR No, really. I have yet to find a television show whose Christmas special I don't detest. Not even the Nostalgia Critic is successful at it and that's an online-exclusive review show which adequately mocked the Grinch.
NAMINE: Yeah, now would be a good time to stop before you overwhelm people with rant-y nonsense again.

NOXIGAR: Oops.

SQUIRRLEY SQUIRREL: Now don't be down, y'all. We can find ourselves a way to get rid of that nasty mountain-

ARUSEUS: O-KAY! I'm checking an email! {runs offscreen}

NAMINE: At least he's sensible.

{Aruseus runs into the Computer Room, and starts typing random junk, instead of typing "run_arumail.exe", he types "skg_ljkhfkal.egg"}

ARUSEUS: {as he's typing} Uh... {singing} I love email poofs, you love email poofs!

NOXIGAR: So, wait, why is he referencing South Park this whole time? I mean, the references are extremely dated at this point, so...

Error

Bad command or filename.

ARUSEUS: Oops. {types "run_arumail.exe"}

NAMINE: I'm not sure if that entire segment was a dyslexia joke or not. It better naught half bean.

Subject: decemberween

Dear Aruseus,
Happy Decemberween!
I hope you get all sorts of stuff and
give all sorts of other stuff.

Richard Allen George...no...it's just Cheez.

ARUSEUS: Wait, your name is Cheez? AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man, that's funny.

NAMINE: I'm a little lost as to why that's funny, but I digress.

{Aruseus clears the screen}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Dairy Product, thanks. I'll give stuff and get stuff as well! Well, I'm off to give and get!

{Cut to Tom's Room}

ARUSEUS: Do you know where I can get wrapping paper...and some tape?

TOM: Why? Are you bounding and gagging Foxx for stealing your french fries...AGAIN?

ARUSEUS: Yes. I'm also getting Decemberween gifts for everyone!

TOM: Oh! Well, ok. There's some in the attic.

ARUSEUS: Okie-salami!

TOM: Haw?

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}

ARUSEUS: Hey, Bubs! I'm looking for Decemberween presents. Got anything that will satisfy...er...let's say...Tom?

BUBS: Here you go! {Hands Aruseus a game cartridge}

ARUSEUS: A new Shploitz! game? Thanks! Now...what would Homestar like?

BUBS: Here you go! {Hands Aruseus a jar}

ARUSEUS: Week-old Witches' Brew!? That's impossible to find! Thanks!

BUBS: No probalo!

{Fade to the TLA Living Room, several characters are there}

ARUSEUS: People of the Imperial City, er...Free Country, I have gifts! This one's for you, Homestar. {Hands Homestar the jar}

HOMESTAR: Week-old Witches' Brew!? That's impossible to find! Thanks!

ARUSEUS: Here's yours, Tom! {Hands Tom the game}

TOM: So that's where Strong Mad hid it...

ARUSEUS: {straining and holding a heavy box} Fang...here's...yours!

FANG: Ooh!

{Fang opens it up and Foxx pops out of the box}

FOXX: AAAAAAAAIIIIRR! {deep breath} AAAAAAAAIIIIRR!

{Aruseus hits Foxx over the head with a baseball bat}

ARUSEUS: Jess, I got you this! {Hands Jess the bat}

JESS: Er...thanks?

ARUSEUS: And a Happy Decemberween to you!

{The Paper comes down}

NAMINE: So a bunch of average gifts are gotten? This isn't even lifting from Strong Bad Emails anymore. This is lifting from the remainder of the Homestar Runner franchise almost wholesale! All it needs is a Deep Impact DVD and it would be completely wholesale.

Fun Facts

• "Richard Allen George...No, it's Just Cheez" is a song by Less Than Jake
• Imperial City is a reference to "Oblivion: The Elder Scrolls IV."
• Tom getting his Shploitz! game back references Foxx's Answering Machine.

NAMINE: Oh, in-jokes I can't be bothered to look at for referential material.
NAMINE: No, seriously, that's kind of bad. Between the answering machine and Zippy Emails, what am I to really bother with?