RiffText/AruseusEmails/skewl

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Cyrus, Fang, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Caity, Ert, Tom, Mac, Luke Luxray, Roy Rukario, Slick, Bandit Keith (easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, CGNU High, Aruseus' Homeroom, Roy's Classroom, CGNU High Gym

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: October 11th, 2007

NAMINE: So it would appear it took another month between the previous email and this one. I am to deduce it takes a while between each email.

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {singing} Sonic is in Brawl, HEY! I'm gonna check an email, HEY! {clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: I don't know the song, and I surmise I won't get details as to what email song this is.

subject: school

Hey Aruseus!
I just wanna know what your highschool is like
and how you and the other seniors are holding up on your last year.

Pencils and shavings,
Keith

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, I just got back from a day there. My school is named-

{Cut to the outside of a school it says CGNU High on it}

ARUSEUS: CGNU High.

NAMINE: Crazy Go Nuts University High. Doesn't any of that sound redundant to you? Or contradictory?

{The CGNU fight song plays}

{Cut back to Computer Room}

ARUSEUS: {typing} All o' my gewd

NAMINE: good

friends here are there! and some new ones too! We have the awesomest

NAMINE: most awesome
NAMINE: Honestly, I think the term "awesomest" died out in 2002. That's just my presumption, though.

teachers, but lets discuss my classmates.

{Cut to Aruseus' Homeroom}

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} Well, first there's me.

{Aruseus appears wearing a sky blue shirt, red tie, and khaki pants}

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} Then we've got ol' Dumbstar and S.B.

STRONG BAD: I'm surprised Homestar made it to high school.

NAMINE: Wouldn't Strong Bad be saying this offscreen, too? At least, until he actually shows up on screen?

{Homestar and Strong Bad appear in the same uniforms}

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} Then there's Fang, Cyrus, and even more seniors that'll make your spit hurt! Wait, that didn't make sense.

NAMINE: Try to filter your words every time you make a script.

{As he names them, Fang appears, than Cyrus. Than a large shadowy crowd behind them.}

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} Yeah. I also have the coolest lunch menu! Also, lunch buddies!

NAMINE: I can deduce your school doesn't have open lunch. Which is a shame.

{Cut to the Cafetieria. Ert, Tom, and Caity, all in uniform, are sitting. Aruseus takes a seat.}

NAMINE: Wait, they're all in uniform? Don't tell me you're referencing Cromartie High School.

NOXIGAR: That actually wasn't a terrible anime, to be honest. Then again, it wasn't good, either.

NAMINE: But I get the feeling this guy either watched it or pretended he lived it.

ARUSEUS: Hey, my bromides! What's for lunch?

TOM: Well, I felt like having a cheeseburger today.

ERT: I got a big muffin! It's choco-choco-chip!

CAITY: Ert, don't eat too many of those. You'll "pull a Strong Sad."

M BISON: You're not going Turbo, are you?

NAMINE: Phrasing that makes sense, please.

M BISON: OF COURSE!

ERT: I'll get all depressy and crap?

CAITY: No, you'll get fat!

ERT: {holds up letter K} K!

NAMINE: Caity proceeds to beat up Ert for referencing Sesame Street is shunned in this Cromartie High School-ish universe. Y'know, since it's not JAPAN, it is therefore socially abnormal

ARUSEUS: Gimme that muffin!

ERT: Never!

{They get into a fight cloud, Mac pops up in uniform}

MAC: Whee! This will be fun!

NAMINE: That's not something you say when two people get into a fight at a school. No. Just, just no

{Mac jumps in the cloud, Luke from Mega Movie Night walks in,

NAMINE: From where, exactly?

He is wearing a white suit and red tie, and has a faculty ID card on a lanyard around his neck}

LUKE: And just WHAT is going on here?

ERT: {quietly to Aruseus} Oh crap, the principal.

LUKE: I've had it up to here with your shenoligans!

NAMINE: shenanigans

Mac Jefski, report to my office immeadiately.

MAC: What'd I do!? Aww... {walks off}

ARUSEUS: Phew, I thought we were going to get our butts handed to us.

ERT: Well, I ate the muffin anyway.

ARUSEUS: Aw man, you crapbag.

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} And also, we have some well known people as our teachers. Like how Roy Rukario is our history teacher!

NAMINE: Who?

{Cut to Roy's Classroom}

ROY: Ok, so who can tell me when the Revolutionary War happened?

MAC: {raises hand} OOH! ME! ME!

ROY: {sigh} Mac...

MAC: The Taco Age?

NAMINE: "No, Mac. The Taco Age happened several centuries AFTER the Revolutionary War. Try again!"

ROY: No, Mac. The correct answer is 1776.

MAC: Mr. Rukario?

ROY: What now?

MAC: You sound like Joe Swanson.

ROY: {sarcastic} That's great.

NAMINE: And the same flaw from JCMovies rears its ugly head!
NOXIGAR: Actually, I've also made that mistake in early MFT3K riffs. I corrected myself in later riffs upon realization on how stupid making my sarcasm obvious was.

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} Also, our gym class is cool too!

NAMINE: Do you have Gym Class Heroes? Do you?

{Cut to the Gym or CGNU High, Slick is in a blue sweatshirt and has a whistle arounds his neck}

NAMINE: Who the hell ARE these people?

SLICK: Ok, class. Today, we will be playing basketball. Fang, catch.

{Slick throws a ball to Fang, but it misses and knocks his head off}

FANG: Well this really sucks.

{Cut back to the Computer Room}

ARUSEUS: {typing} So there you go, Bandit Keith.

{Namine gets a seizure from how tactless the reference was.}
NOXIGAR: Give me a sec! I need to call the hospital stat

That's my school.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Bandit" see a scene.

BANDIT KEITH: I can't believe I was referenced in another email! In America!

Fun Facts

• The Bandit Keith easter egg refences a 1-Up Email. Don't know which one.

{An ambulance finally drives on by and picks up Namine. Noxigar gently weeps, and proceeds to flip off the repertoire of Bandit Keith references.}