RiffText/AruseusEmails/pvsf

Cast (in order of appearence): Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Ert Plus, Homestar, Pter, Fang, Coach Z (easter egg), Mac (easter egg), Stong Bad (easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Strongbadia, The Ring, The Field (easter egg)

Date: June 16, 2007

Computer: A-Tech 950

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Emails here, emails there. Meh! It's an email.

Hello Aruseus. You have 1 new email.

ARUSEUS: Let's go. {Clicks the email icon}

Subject:Pter vs Fang

Dear Aruseus,
Who do you think would win in a fight?
Pter or Fang?
Sincereley,
Badstar.

NAMINE: You want a fight between two side characters to happen, Badstar? I forgot you had a thing for Battels. You and Bellstrom both, actually.

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well...I don't really know, I mean, I have mixed feelings, I think it would be a flat-out tie.

{Aruseus clears the screen}

ARUSEUS: {typing} I mean, Fang is able to reform if say, an arm comes off, so Pter is at a disadvantage, but Pter has no lower section, so no shin kicking. Well, this would be a good way to make some money! LET'S GO! {runs out}

NAMINE: How do you make money off of a tie?

{Cut to Strongbadia, a boxing ring is laid out, several cardboard bleachers sit, on them are many characters, two of which include Ert Plus and Homestar, Ert is holding a bag of popcorn}

ERT PLUS: I've got all my bets on Fang here, he looks menacing.

HOMESTAR: How much did you bet?

ERT PLUS: No money, but if I lose the bet, Mac will keep smacking me in the rear with a frying pan.

NAMINE: So it was a gentleman's bet, but without anything gentlemanly about the end result.

HOMESTAR: Oh. Well...I got my hopes on Pter, but if I lose, Coach Z will give me 23 butt pats to help his record.

ERT PLUS: On that trading card I suppose...

NAMINE: Was the author that obsessed with butt harm jokes? The Coach Z trading card wasn't even funny when the Brothers Chaps did it!

{Aruseus walks in front}

ARUSEUS: Quiet! The match is gonna start!

{Cut to the ring, Pter and Fang have boxing gloves}

FANG: I wonder how you type with those...

NAMINE: He doesn't wear those boxing gloves to type

PTER: Shut up and fight.

{Pter throws a punch at Fang, but Fang dodges it. He kicks Pter in the chest}

PTER: Oof!

FANG: Had enough?

{Pter grabs Fang's leg and starts gnawing on it, but then spits it out, sending it out of the ring}

PTER: Needs salt.

{All of a sudden, Pter is standing on his hands while Fang is being beaten up by an unseen force}

ARUSEUS: What's going on?

PTER: I;m kicking him.

ARUSEUS: WHA!?

NAMINE: "I;m not using apostrophes. Gotta be a rebel and all that!"

{Fang is knocked down, but then kicks Pter in the face}

PTER: Crap!

{Pter falls over, knocked out}

ARUSEUS: It looks like the match ends in a tie.

NAMINE: "Just as I predicted!"

ERT PLUS: Dan-guh!

HOMESTAR: Crap!

{Cut back to A-Tech}

NAMINE: THE ACTION WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EVER STOP

ARUSEUS: So you see, Badstar, the match ended in a tie like I thought it would. Though, I still don't get Pter "kicking" Fang. That's gonna give me the jibblies just thinking about it. {stops typing} So untill next time, keep sending me emails, and I'll be sure to check them!

Click here to email Aruseus.

Easter Eggs

• Click on "match" to see a revisit of One Two.

{Cut to The Field with Ert Plus, Mac, Homestar, and Coach Z, Ert is kneeling down, as Mac hits him with a frying pan in the butt with a "clang" sound.}

ERT PLUS: Ow!

COACH Z: 'Atta boy!

{On the other side of the screen, Homestar is in the same position, as Coach Z butt-pats him once}

HOMESTAR: Ow!

MAC: 'Atta boy!

{the scene repeats 2 more times, on the third time, Strong Bad comes up and slaps his forehead}

{Namine slaps her forehead after Strong Bad slaps his}
NAMINE: Since it was a tie, shouldn't there not be any physical touching of butts?