RiffText/AruseusEmails/tripleemail2

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Foxx, Dinoshaur

NAMINE: If Dinoshaur only has one bit of dialogue and it involves limericks I'm seriously going to inquire as to why you'd include him in this. Hopefully he gets the amount of lines he deserves.

{Beat}

NAMINE: Hang on, I just realized I expected too much of this episode from how short it is.

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Computer: Intell 600

Date: April 28th, 2007 [edit] Transcript

{Cut to the Computer Room}

ARUSEUS: Emailemailemailemailemail check!

   Hello Aruseus. You have three emails.

ARUSEUS: Ooh! Another triple email? Wait...No no no no no, No no no no! I'm not losing another freakin' signing contest!

   Just do it.

NAMINE: Uh, you do realize you can just delete singing contest-based emails, right?

ARUSEUS: Alright...

   subject: Ha ha ha ha!

   OH ARUSEUS!
   I AM VIACOM'S V OF DOOM!
   YOU SHALL OBEY ME!
   I AM THE V OF DOOM!

NAMINE: This was back when YouTube had that thing with Viacom about copyright. So I forgive it for the archaic nod.

ARUSEUS: {typing, and saying in a higher pitch} Oh, Anonymous! I AM ARUSEUS! I WILL DELETE THIS CRAPPY EMAIL!

   DELETED!

ARUSEUS: Argh. See, Stan? It's just like email 7 all over again.

   Email 7 was adventure.

NAMINE: "You're getting your email titles confused again, Arceus."

ARUSEUS: Oh. Which one was carpmail?

NAMINE: KARP KARP MAGIKARP
NAMINE: No, there's seriously no reason for this intentional misspelling. It's not funny.

   Email 27, and it's crapmail.

NAMINE: Thank you, Alpha Stan, for correcting Arceus.

ARUSEUS: Freakin' running gag...

   subject: Eww! Ketchup on eggs?

   Dear Aruseus,

   Why did Foxx chew off Fang's head? It was gross! You gotta go stop him!

   Insert witty comment here, Chwoka

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Chakra,

NAMINE: Ha ha ha, NARUTO
NAMINE: Knowing better courtesy of yoga, tai chi, and other exercise-based Asiatic activities, chakra actually was mildly entertaining for a mispronunciation of Chwoka's name. However, due to Arceus' track record, I am to assume it's a Naruto reference without further context.

Foxx probably did it because Iori won't do it. Hold on, I'll go stop him. {leaves}

{Cut to The Field, Foxx is lying there, with one leg}

ARUSEUS: Foxx! Where's your leg?

FOXX: Fang said he had a tast

NAMINE: taste

for Bluecubes.

ARUSEUS: Ouch.

FOXX: It'll grow back, that's the way life works.

ARUSEUS: Actually, It'll grow back next email, cuz it's the way Cyrus writes it.

NAMINE: OH SNAP

FOXX: Pretty weird when you know someone is writing your life as a transcript

{Aruseus leaves, Cut back to Intell}

ARUSEUS: I guess I have time for one more email.

   subject: Meh!

   What would you do Aruseus if a dinoshaur came up to you?
   Denny

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Denny's Menu, I would probably-

{Dinoshaur walks in}

DINOSHAUR: Hi.

ARUSEUS: Aah! Who are you?

DINOSHAUR: I am Dinoshaur, a Wiki User.

ARUSEUS: Like Cyrus?

DINOSHAUR: No, he is a falcon, I am an Astromund.

{The Paper comes down}

NAMINE: Three lines dialogue? That's it?

NAMINE: And you just jammed him at the end of the email, too.

NAMINE: I officially feel bad for Dinoshaur.

[edit] Fun Facts

   * Another instance of carp/crap.
   * The Subject line of the second email references sbemail: colonization.

NAMINE: I already point out other potential fun facts in this riff, so this page is inaccurate.