RiffText/AruseusEmails/death

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Cyrus, Tom, Foxx, Fang, Lyle, Pter, Kyubii, Negaruseus

NAMINE: I honestly thought Alpha Stan was a throwaway character. Same goes for Lyle and some of these others.

Places: Computer Room, The Field,

Computer: Intell 600

Date: April 17th, 2007 [edit] Transcript

{Cut to the Computer Room}

ARUSEUS: And I check my, E-HE-MAIL! E-HE-MAIL!

   Hello Aruseus. You have one URGENT email.

NAMINE: I can't let you check the URGENT email, Aruseus.

ARUSEUS: Huh? Open it.

   subject: You're going away.

   Attention, Aruseus. Sorry.
   I am afraid I am killing you off of my fanstuff.
   I don't hate you, but you seem to hog all of the attention.
   Enjoy your last few seconds on the Fanstuff Wiki well.
   Your creator,
   - Cyrus

ARUSEUS: {typing} Wha? {voice breaking} I thought they loved me... What's with this hogging all of the attention?

NAMINE: You're more-than-likely the best creation of Lucian Summers. True story. Take that as you will, though.

{Cyrus walks in}

CYRUS: You hog too much attention. Tom will take over.

ARUSEUS: Cyrus, please! Don't kill me!

CYRUS: I'm sorry, Aruseus. I feel bad about this too. {takes out a laser} This will be quick and painless.

{Cyrus blasts Aruseus with the laser, he falls to the ground slowly, landing motionless...}

NAMINE: I will not kill my heroes thus.

ARUSEUS: {as he is falling} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

   Alas, my poor friend, I knew him...er...not that well.

NAMINE: As you were a recently-crafted piece of tech, I don't expect you to know him that well. But, that isn't a proper excuse, as neither do I!

CYRUS: I better go. {warps out}

TOM: Aruseus? I heard a scream! What's going-

{Tom enters in shock}

TOM: AAH! Alpha Stan, what's going on?

   Tom, Aruseus is dead.

NAMINE: "Aruseus is dead. Long live Aruseus."

TOM: DEAD!? This can't be! I never thought that would happen! We must organize a funeral.

{Cut to the Field, set up like a funeral, Tom is up at the podeuim}

NAMINE: podium

TOM: We are here to mourn for the loss of Aruseus, the person with the second most emails under Fake Characters on the Fake Character Email Page, under NeoStinkoman, but more importantly, our friend. Aruseus was like a brother to me, and he was the best I have ever known. Anyone else care to say a few words?

{Foxx walks up to the podieum}

FOXX: Aruseus was a cool guy. I liked all of out

NAMINE: our

crazy adventures, like when he stuffed me in Coach Z's locker, but despite that, we were good friends. I will truly miss you, buddy.

{Fang walks up to the podieum}

FANG: What to say...Aruseus was great. He left me to check his emails before he died, and I did them well. I hope to carry on your show, buddy.

{Lyle walks up with the Intell 600, Alpha Stan appears}

   I may have only known him for a couple of minutes, but I knew Aruseus would be a good guy. That is all.

NAMINE: Hi, unnecessary spacing between Alpha Stan and Lyle's line. Mind if I stick myself in here to completely negate you?

LYLE: Meh! {walks off}

TOM: Anybody else?

{silence}

TOM: Well, I guess that's it. Let's carry him off to burial.

{Foxx, Pter, Tom, and Kyubii walk off with the casket, carry it into the hurst, which Fang drives to the Cemetary. Tom waves goodbye}

TOM: Goodbye...friend.

{Cut to the Computer Room, as Lyle places the Intell 600 on the desk, it has words, reading:}

   In Memory of: Aruseus
   Email checker, and friend
   1988-2007

{Cut to the TLA Living Room, with all of my characters}

NAMINE: Yes, we get hot Zuko on Katara action finally

TOM: Ok, I have the will in my hands, to see what we get.

   Dear Everybody,
   If you are reading this, I am, unfortunately, dead.
   Here is what I will leave to everyone.
   Fang, you recieve my room, with a new TV
   Lyle, take all of my music CDs, I know how much you love them.
   Foxx, you also recieve my room, bunk in the same room as Fang
   Pter, you recieve my cereal recipe
   Kyubii, take all of my games
   Roy and Roy Jr, you recieve my TV in my room
   Tom, you recieve my entire email show. Good luck with it.
   Goodbye,
   Aruseus 

NAMINE: {singing} I'm the leading man, and the lies I weave are oh so intricate, oh so intricate

TOM: Alright. Nobody complain if you got something you think is crappy. Just deal with it.

{everyone converses}

TOM: I'm off to check an email.

{Cut to the Computer Room, Tom saves the memory message, and types, "run_arumail.exe}

   Hello Tom. You have one email.

NAMINE: Hello, unnecessary spacing. I am glad you don't have grammar problems like Alpha Stan.

TOM: Open it.

   subject: You're so gullible.

   Attention, Everybody else. You suckers really thought I'd killed him?
   He was only paralyzed for three hours, and you have only 30 minutes to save him.
   Good luck, you will need it. HAHAHAHA!

   - Suryc

TOM: GUYS! {runs out}

{Cut back to TLA Living Room}

TOM: Hurry! To the cemetary!

NAMINE: cemetery

Aruseus is not yet dead and only has about an hour to live! He will wake up and suffocate unless we get him out! GET SHOVELS!

{Cut to the Cemetary, everyone is there with a shovel}

NAMINE: They buried the proper grammar and unearthed their wanton disregard for Wiki Editing Guidelines. I don't care if Karkat's the one telling you them, you don't disregard the Guidelines. The RURUS {slaps self}

FOXX: Dig, everybody! DIG!

{Everyone starts to dig in the grave, when a rumble is heard, suddenly, a white hand with a big yellow ring shoots out, suddenly, Aruseus emerges from the hole}

ARUSEUS: {gasping for air} I'VE FINALLY FOUND A USE FOR THIS DUMB RING!

TOM: HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP! YOU'RE ALIVE!

{Everybody cheers}

???????: Wait! That is not the real Aruseus! It is I who is the real one!

ARUSEUS: Alright, so you found out my plan.

TOM: Aruseus?

ARUSEUS: Aruseus? I'm not Aruseus, I'm {takes off costume to reveal a darker colored Aruseus} Nega-ruseus!

{Screen turns black with "OMG!" in big white letters}

FOXX: Well, I'm not Foxx, I'm {swiftly puts on a jester hat} Foxx with a silly hat!

{Screen turns black with "OMG!" in even bigger letters}

{Cut back to the original scene, silence for 5 seconds}

NEGARUSEUS: Well...I can't think of anything to do so...

{A jetboard appears}

NEGARUSEUS: I'll get you next time, Team Laser Explosion!

FOXX: That was odd.

NAMINE: I agree. It was also pointless.

TOM: Like your hat.

{Everyone but Foxx laughs}

FOXX: I think it's rather slimming.

ARUSEUS: It's good to have me back and not dead.

{Cyrus warps in}

ARUSEUS: What's up, Cyrus?

CYRUS: Sorry for the worry before. Aruseus is not really dead, I just wanted a serious email for once. Suryc was the one that would've killed you off. Luckily, I messed with his laser, and created Negaruseus just in time. I didn't want you to ruin your vacation, Aruseus, the real Aruseus.

ARUSEUS: Thanks!

NAMINE: "My vacation was already ruined by having it take place offscreen, but thanks!"

{The Paper comes down} [edit] Easter Eggs

none [edit] Fun Facts

   * I am not really killing off Aruseus. Thank goodness. 

   * The lines "Aruseus? I'm not Aruseus, I'm Nega-ruseus!", "Well, I'm not Foxx, I'm Foxx with a silly hat!" and the Black OMG screens is a take on what happens in Rogerregorroger's Sonic Rivals in 2 Minutes 

   * Negaruseus' last line references Team Laser Explosion

NAMINE: Where oh where could my hot Zuko on Katara action be? I guess it's not in this episode.