RiffText/AruseusEmails/news

Aruseus starts a news program.

NAMINE: Ah, this'll be interesting.

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, The Cheat, Homsar

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Computer: Intell 600

Date: Febuary 9th, 2007

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Aruseus used Check Email! It's super effective!

subject: news

Aruseus - the coolest of the cool people and better
than Strong Sad or Homsar!

I want you to do the news and have a news channel replacing the awful news
channel named Fox news. Really, bugs the crap out of me.

Good crap,Meg Griffin,Quahog,Rhode Island

NAMINE: Oh. Crap. Looks like the episode is already taking a nosedive, and it hasn't even been a minute yet!

ARUSEUS: {typing} Meg...Griffin? That's a familiar name...nah, it's not. Wait a sec. You mean to tell me Foxx has his own news show? HE MUST BE STOPPED!

NAMINE: "Do I spell FOX with one X or two?"

ARUSEUS: Then that does it! I have to compete with Foxx. I'll start my own news progrum.

{Cut to The Field, Aruseus and Tom are moving a desk}

ARUSEUS: Little more...

TOM: Here?

ARUSEUS: Little to the left...and DONE!

TOM: Hoo...that was heavy.

ARUSEUS: Well, we're done here. Now to get some chairs!

TOM: Urrrrgh...

{5 chairs later}

ARUSEUS: Ok! We finally got it!

TOM: {panting} I...hate...you.

NAMINE: Are the chairs really that heavy? If they were giant couches I'd probably share his sentiment!

ARUSEUS: I know! Isn't it fantastic?

TOM: Whatevs. Get to your crappy news show.

{fade out an in, Aruseus is in a blue suit}

ARUSEUS: Hello, and welcome to the Ring at 5. Today's top story is, Strong Bad: The Last Great Guy? Is it true that Strong Bad is the only cool guy in Free Country? Besides me... Any way, The Cheat and I...

{The Cheat pops up from behind the desk}

THE CHEAT: Mehmeh!

NAMINE: "Obligatory cameos are for losers!"

ARUSEUS: Are still examining this subject. We've come to a conclusion that-

{Zoom out to see Homsar standing next to Aruseus holding a cardboard speech bubble that says "happy peaches"}

ARUSEUS: Strong Bad is...wha!? What are you doing here!?

HOMSAR: AaaaAaaaAaaaAaa!

ARUSEUS: Out with you!

HOMSAR: Pshoo...

HOMSAR: AaaaAaaaAaaaAaa! An out of body experience is real unpleasant!
NAMINE: If your cameo wasn't so awkwardly shoehorned, I'd totally agree that you're not quite in-character in this episode.

ARUSEUS: Now as I had stated before...

{The Paper}

ARUSEUS: No! Not yet!

Fun Facts

NAMINE: Seriously, why are all these episodes so short? This one had a lot of promise to it that goes unused! Is Aruseus just that unfathomably lazy that he can't make a proper news show? Strong Bad was able to throw in a few more minutes before his episode ended!