RiffText/MFT3K/1-Up Emails/spinkick

1-Up, Homestar Runner and Ben

BLUEBRY: OLD BEN KENOBI

visit Strong Bad and The Cheat.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Homestar Runner, Ben, Strong Bad, The Cheat

Transcript

File:TLOASFUF July 05 Grand Prize.png

I won the prize!

BLUEBRY: that kid from middle school who read star wars books in the hallway and picked his nose when his teacher thought he was in the bathroom thought your email show was cool
SKUB: Guys, I drew a space ship in Algebra, it's pretty rad.

NOXIGAR: Bluebry, you know that's a pain in the ass to read, right?
NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY! YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE!

{Cuts to 1-Up and Homestar Runner with ripped clothes

BLUEBRY: so, the latest fashions

and bags on their back}

BLUEBRY: backpacks

NOXIGAR: I personally prefer satchels.

1-UP: Dad, Look.

BLUEBRY: "He said while making no indication of where his dad was supposed to look."

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We made it to Strong Bad's House. Yes!

1-UP: That's not Strong Bad's House, Dad. That's Stinkoman Headqaurters. It's me and Stinkoman's Treehouse.

BLUEBRY: "we even put a portable tv in it that mom wasn't using anymore"

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But, Strong Bad's House used to be there. Oh, I get it. Strong Bad lives in there now.

SKUB: There is no need for emotions in the world of Homestart Running.

He changed he's house.

BLUEBRY: him and he's crazy antics

{Cuts to Strong Bad and the cheat sitting down watching TV}

STRONG BAD: Where could he be?

THE CHEAT: {cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: No. Nobody could've stole him.

{Homestar Runner and 1-Up walk in}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's up?

STRONG BAD: Why are your clothes all ripped apart.

BLUEBRY: "And where did all my question marks go."

1-UP: Somebody destroyed our house.

STRONG BAD: Well, Somebody took my son.

SKUB: Bo-ring

NOXIGAR: It's hard. It's hard when Bluebry's dominating a good majority of this riff anyway. It's hard, and nobody understands.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What son? I diddn't know you had a wife.

BLUEBRY: nuclear families aren't outdated i guess

NOXIGAR: I know, right? No wonder I can't stand Bob's Burgers.

STRONG BAD: I don't have a wife. I made a robot with the soul purpose of being my bodygaurd.

BLUEBRY: {GROAN}

Not only that But, I also created him because I got lonely. Ever since Strong Mad and Strong sad left home with their wives, I was lonely. So, I made Stinkoman.

SKUB: "He is a robot like myself. What is loves."

1-UP: Oh, Okay. Is it okay if I use your computer?

BLUEBRY: "Yeah, son kidnapped, I'm real sympathetic but I haven't checked Digg in like two days now"

STRONG BAD: Go ahead. In fact, I'll be glad to help you look for Marzipan and Marzichan if you help me look for Stinkoman afterwards.

BLUEBRY: these guys act like kidnapping is some sort of fun game
SKUB: It's called Hide and Seek, Bluebry

NOXIGAR: Yeah, Bluebry.
NOXIGAR: Wait, why did I justify that joke?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay. Hey, Wait a minute. We never said anything about that. How did you know?

STRONG BAD: Oh. My Time Television showed me. It shows what is going to happen.

BLUEBRY: "You can buy one down at the Mary Sue store on St. Paul."

NOXIGAR: Remind me to visit said Mary Sue Store later. No particular reason, really.

{Cuts to 1-Up sitting on aa stool

SKUB: My Name, is 1-Up, an I have Problem.

in front of Strong Bad's Lappy 486. But, It's broken}

BLUEBRY: {turns to Skub} hey want some popcorn? But, It's broken.
SKUB: I'd love To. But,

1-UP: Hey, It's my old Lappy. It's working again

BLUEBRY: But, It's broken.

and Strong bad uses it now. I'll have to use it... just one more time.

BLUEBRY: "I swore to myself never to use my powers again..."

NOXIGAR: Hey, if 1-Up's godmodded before and wants to stop using his powers, that's his perogative, man!

1-Up,
What's with that spinny kick you do?
What kind of training does it take
to learn it?
You ate my lappy,
JelloB.

1-UP: The spin-kick is an attack I learned when I was a kid. Stinkoman taught it to me. It was the very first attack we learned. As for what kind of training I larn,

BLUEBRY: canadians

NOXIGAR: I wish I was one!

I learn all types of training. I learn them in Challenge Class at school. As for your last statement, I diddn't eat your Lappy, Jelly Bee. Hey, Good name by the way. A Jelly Bee!

SKUB: AAAH! Be careful with those exclamation marks—I almost had a heart attack!
CHWOKA: WHY, BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FAT
{Brooks hits Chwoka with a trolley.}

NOXIGAR: Thank you, Brooks, for doing something funny for once.

Hmm... Jelly. That's making me hungry. {runs offscreen} Pudding Awaaaaaaaaaay!

SKUB: Wow, pudding?? Innovation at its finest.

NOXIGAR: In Homestar Runner canon, you do realize 1-Up is a very static character, right?

{Cuts to Homestar Runner, Strong Bad and The Cheat watching TV with Cold Ones in there hands}

BLUEBRY: hey look over their

STRONG BAD: I always thought that Bob loved Kate.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But,

BLUEBRY: But,

NOXIGAR: But,

Bob is an Evil Guy.

THE CHEAT: {cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Yeah. This is a good show. Pass the Popcorn.

BLUEBRY: this is the most unimaginative and depressing dialogue ever

NOXIGAR: But, you've used those lines before right in this episode of MFT3K!

THE CHEAT: {cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh. The Popcorn is all gone.

SKUB: {Strong Bad puts the pistol to his forehead. He's got one bullet, one chance to right all the wrongs.}

NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY! What's with you and forcing Strong Bad to commit suicide?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'll get another packet of Popcorn. {gets up an walks into Kitchen}

{1-Up walks onscreen}

1-UP: Guys.

STRONG BAD: Shoosh. We're watching TV.

1-UP: Oh, Sorry. Where's my Dad?

THE CHEAT: {cheat noises}

SKUB: Translated: "you're adopted"

1-UP: Thanks, The Cheat.

{1-Up walks into the Kitchen. Cuts to the Kitchen where Homestar Runner is grabbing a packet of Popcorn}

SKUB: Is he German? Because that's the only explanation there is for him capitalizing every dang word.

NOXIGAR: I Shouldn't Ask If You're A Homestuck Since You're Obviously Not One. But, In That Particular Webcomic There Is A Character Who Capitalizes Every Word She Uses Ever.

1-UP: Hey, Dad.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What is it, son?

1-UP: Doesn't it seem odd that someone steals Marzipan and Marzichan and one moment later, the house is destroyed.

BLUEBRY: "How could this happen."

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes, that is odd.

1-UP: I think I might now wgho we're dealing with. But,

BLUEBRY: But,

To make sure I'm correct we must think of what's been happening lately.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: There was you dissapearing to the Future.

SKUB: Nothing odd about that.

1-UP: Yes. Good, Good. {writes it down on a notepad}

BLUEBRY: {that just came out of nowhere}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And there was the time Homeschool Winner stole Marzipan.

BLUEBRY: you see, he stole her because women are property

NOXIGAR: No. Just, just no.

1-UP: And the time Tampo was my Master. {writes it all down on the notepad}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And the time Sticklyman stole all the talismans of Power.

BLUEBRY: talismen i believe

NOXIGAR: That would be incorrect.

1-UP: Wait. Stop right there. All of this relates to one thing.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What is it?

1-UP: It all makes sence. Sticklyman, Homeschool Winner, Master X, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Saargstton and Liekand. Look. What is the one thing that every enemy on the planet wants?

BLUEBRY: just a little love

HOMESTAR RUNNER: The Dark Elf.

BLUEBRY: the baddest, most hardcore elf! heck yeah!
SKUB: Th-this is from Mega Man

NOXIGAR: No, Skullbuggy, it's not from Mega Man.
NOXIGAR: I'm actually not sure where it's from.

1-UP: Exactly. It all makes sence. The puzzle is being put together. We just need one final peice

BLUEBRY: "i" before "e"

NOXIGAR: Except- wait no the c is after the i and the e nevermind.

to the mystery.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's that?

1-UP: Oh, Come on! Isn't it obvious? Fine. I'll tell you. The Talismans, The Time Travel, The Super Powers, The Dark Elf. All these powers are controlled by...

BLUEBRY: the invisible hand of capitalism.

NOXIGAR: Pff, I wish.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Gasps}

1-UP: Exactly.

SKUB: A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD!!!

BOTH: Marzichan's Wand!

1-UP: Homeschool Winner stole Marzipan because master X gave him the abilaty to Time Travel and Homeschool Winner went against Master X because he wanted Marzipan's Invisible Necklace. The Necklace was transformed into a Wand when she secretly snuck away and lied to us saying she was going out for a coffee.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, She was really actualy going out to transform the necklace into a wand because Master X was a good guy and promised that it'd do good.

SKUB: Oh, the action never stops.

NOXIGAR: This isn't action. This is anti-action, or whatever the word for that is.

1-UP: But,

BLUEBRY: But,

He's Anger and Hatred

BLUEBRY: he is anger and hatred

against all living things took over so he became a bad guy because of an Evil Dark Spirit located in the Dark Orb.

SKUB: of Evil Darkness.

Marzipan's Wand was passed on to Marzichan to control. Marzichan was soon taken over by Master X and kept it secret from us. So, That explains it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Explains what?

1-UP: Listen carefully. I am only going to say this once. When I was stuck in the future, a group of enemies abducted me into their Spaceship. Marzichan was one of the Enemies. I am guessing it is because of the wand.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, If Marzichan and Marzipan have been stolen. Then that means...

1-UP: Every robot will be taken over by Darkness.

SKUB: This is just retarded. No wonder it won a spaceship!

NOXIGAR: There are larger Cosmic Irrationalities.

The Robots will go against everyone and then the human-race is done for, the world will belong... to the robots...

BLUEBRY: never seen that before

{Homestar Runner and 1-Up gasp}

1-UP: We can't do anything now except sit and wait.

BLUEBRY: just stay the course, don't cut and run

When I say it is time, We will get him... Whover

BLUEBRY: Whover was our 31st president

NOXIGAR: I believe that would be Hoover.
NOXIGAR: Herbert Hoover.

he is. Tommorow, We will go back to our destroyed home to complete the puzzle and solve the mystery.

{They both leave. The Paper comes down}

Fun Facts

• Bob and kate are both characters from a TV Show called "Blackadder" made by BBC.
• Homeschool Winner getting married to Marzipan is reffered to "Homestar Runner Movie 3: Mid-Life Crisis"

BLUEBRY: didn't see it

NOXIGAR: Oh man, I wanted to see it but it turned out to be this crappy indie comic book when I tried to look at the film's plot summary. Then, a few months after I saw copious amounts of forum signatures, avatars, and excess quoting of the film, I tried seeing the movie with some people and saw how horrible it was. Then I started rooting for the antagonists because I'm a contrarian and that's the only reason why I RiffTexted MFT3K.