RiffText/MFT3K/1-Up Emails/tampo2

1-UP EMAIL 57!

1-Up is emailed about Tampo and gets mad.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Stinkoman, Tampo, Stlunko, Boy, Brody

Transcript

{Cuts to 1-Up and Homestar Runner at a shop}

BLUEBRY: "MONEY IN THE BAG—MONEY IN THE BAG"

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'll go buy some food with the money we have left. You can go and check your emails on one of the shop computers.

BLUEBRY: because the employees are cool with that

1-UP: It's okay. I brought the broken Lappy and I reproggrammed it's batteries to last forever.

BLUEBRY: "I learned how at the Mary Sue Academy."

{1-Up puts the broken Lappy on a desk and sits down}

1-UP: I'm checking email with the best computer. My old Lappy and Strong Bad's New... Broken... Computer.

Tampos betteer than you!!!

1-UP: {typing} Better is spelled with only one E.

BLUEBRY: ...no it isn't

Not three. By the way, Tampo does not rule. Tampo is the same coolness level as me. In fact, If it weren't for me, Tampo wouldn't even exist.

{Cuts to a Flashback of 1-Up and Stinkoman fighting Tampo and Stlunko}

1-UP: Stinkoman! Aim for the red orb in the middle of the brain, I'll take care of the robot with the big fists.

STINKOMAN: Sure thing, Kidstar! Ha! Ha! Ha!

BLUEBRY: Ha!

1-UP: Stop calling me Kidstar! My Mummy called me Kidstar when I was a baby.

BLUEBRY: then he got sold to the british museum :(

But, My real name is 1-Up. Daddy said s-

STINKOMAN: Look Out! {jumps out of the way}

{Tampo floats in ands hits a boulder off a cliff, causing it to sqaush 1-Up}

STINKOMAN: {jumps over to the boulder and picks it up} Hey, Kidstar! Aaaaaaaaaaare you okaaaaaay?!

1-UP: Who are you? Who am I? Am I Kidstar? I am Kidstar! And you must be... umm...

BLUEBRY: bond

{A boy walks past and looks at them both}

BOY: Hey, Look! It's the Guy!

BLUEBRY: OH MY GOD GUYS IT'S THE GUY
SKUB: OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD

STINKOMAN: Thank you, Thank you.

1-UP: Oh! So, You're the guy! Aww... I want to be the guy too!

STINKOMAN: I'm Stinkoman! {walks off, mumbling} Idiot...

{1-Up stands up and looks around}

1-UP: Where am I? I seem to be... in a place where the buildings and bushes are round.

{Stlunko uses he's fists to hit 1-Up}

1-UP: Ouch! Ow! Oof!

{Tampo starts charging up a beam of laser.

BLUEBRY: look out, he's got a beam of laser

Suddenly, A Mysterious Dark Person shoots a weird black glowing plasma blast at Tampo. 1-Up jumps in the way and gets hit}

1-UP: Ouch! That hurt!

TAMPO: What did you say?!

BLUEBRY: he said "Ouch! That hurt!"

1-UP: I said "Ouch! That hurt!"

BLUEBRY: yeah okay that

STLUNKO: He saved your life. We shall spare this one and go after Stinkoman tommorow. When we get home, I shall translate what he said.

BLUEBRY: ...but...you speak english

{Cuts back to 1-Up at the broken Lappy}

1-UP: {typing} So, You see? You shouldn't be saying stuff like that, Tampo owes he's life to me. I wonder what the blast did. I was speaking English. But, Everyone else thought I was speaking an evil Language that hasn't been used for 20,00X years.

BLUEBRY: ...what

Whew. I'm bored. Maybe, I should check another couple of emails.

BLUEBRY: NO

LOL! Tampo Roxxorz!

1-UP: {typing} Are you another Tampo Fan? Jeez. I'm going to have to do another flashback, aren't I? Huh? Huh? Answer me! Oh, wait. Computer can't talk back at you.

BLUEBRY: you're a particularly bright one, aren't you

Oh, well. Next email.

TAMPO!!!

1-UP: Oh. Hi, Tampo. You signed your email. But, You forgot to ask a question or make a comment. You also forgot to say hello. Next email.

{Cuts to Tampo, Brody and Stlunko watching the email on the SuperCom in the Lunar Warehouse}

Tampo Rulez!!!!!

1-UP: {typing} Tampo does not rule. Okay. I answered all the emails. Bye.

BLUEBRY: bye

{On the 1-Up Email on the SuperCom, The Paper comes down}

TAMPO: Diddn't we send that email to make sure he was still our minion. What happened to that?

STLUNKO: He answered that in 1-Up Email 50. I have detected that 1-Up is currently leaving the shop he is in and heading our way and to the Graveyard that is across the road.

BLUEBRY: that's weird because all i detect is shoddy writing

BRODY: Is there any possibility that we could get rid of him.

TAMPO: Yeah, If you guys helped me. But, I made a deal with 1-Up that I'd help him.

STLUNKO: When did you make that deal?

BLUEBRY: you were just watching the email where he friggin explains it

TAMPO: hen I was fighting him before. But, I wasn't really thinking properly when I made that deal with 1-Up.

BRODY: It doresn't seem like you were thinking at all.

STLUNKO: Maybe, We could get revenge on 1-Up.

TAMPO: Yeah. But, The history books say that the chosen one would have the power to destroy everyone with he's wand.

BLUEBRY: why would a history book say that

BRODY: Stlunko, Do you detect any Magic Type Objects near the duo of Homestar Runner and 1-Up?

STLUNKO: No. But, By analysing their brain data, I have detected that they are after some kind of wand. I have also detected that this wand controls the power of the Dark Elf.

TAMPO: Do you think there is any way we can beat 1-Up and Homestar Runner to the Graveyard?

STLUNKO: Negative. This Unkown Firewall is stopping me from detecting anyone inside the graveyard or even near the graveyard.

BRODY: So, When you lose 1-Up and Homestar Runner's detection, then you will know that they are in the Graveyard.

TAMPO: No. 1-Up and Homestar Runner's detection is gone. But, They were nowhere near the forcefield when they dissapeared.

STLUNKO: Forcefield?!

TAMPO: That's my way of saying firewall.

BLUEBRY: this writing is lackluster at best

BRODY: But, Not only is it a forcefield. It is actualy literally a firewall.

BLUEBRY: so it's literally a wall of fire

It burns with black darkness.

STLUNKO: We better not go near it.

TAMPO: Why?

STLUNKO: Remember what happened last time we handled with Black Fire.

BLUEBRY: hey guys remember the last time we handled with improper grammar?

BRODY: It's called Dark Fire.

STLUNKO: Whatever, Whatever. The oint is, The last time we handled something like the Dark Elve's Power, We were destroyed.

BLUEBRY: he makes a good oint

BRODY: But, He isn't using the Dark elve's Power.

TAMPO: That might be true. But, This guy is using some kind of power that has Darkness and the abilaty to control the dead. This is a different kind of Darkness. It controls Zombies, Vampires, Monsters, Witches and any other types of scary stuff.

STLUNKO: Including Aliens?

TAMPO: Yes.

BLUEBRY: but only the scary ones

Why?

STLUNKO: Well, Remember Nebulon?

BRODY: He could be controled. But, Nobody would like to control NEB-1 because of the fact that he's style and power is low.

BLUEBRY: nebulon needs to get his swag on, son

He was defeated by 1-Up.

TAMPO: You must remember that 1-Up is the chosen one.

BRODY: 1-Up is the chosen one?! You never told us that!

BLUEBRY: "Oh, I forgot to mention it. Yeah, he's the savior of the world or whatever."

with this information, we could find a way to get the wand.

STLUNKO: I get what your saying. We let 1-Up and Homestar Runner get Marzichan's Dark and Powerful Wand so we can fight him when he comes back and then take control over the Dark Elf.

BRODY: That wasn't my plan. But, I like your idea better.

TAMPO: So, It is settled. Well, Let's go do stuff.

{The Paper comes down}

STLUNKO: That is not our paper. I have detected that the 1-Up Email Paper is in thew Lunar Warehouse.

TAMPO: Who cares. We'd have to keep talking if the 1-Up Email diddn't end.

BRODY: Good point.

Easter Eggs

• Click on one of Stlunko's Fists to see Strong bad and the Cheat watching Caleb Rentpayer.

Transcript

TUCKSWORTH: Are you becoming a 20X6 Superman?

(20X6) CALEB RENTPAYER: {In a cool 20X6 voice} I sure aaaaaaaaaaam!

BLUEBRY: that was the most unfunny thing i've ever seen and my school's talent show has impressionists