Slas Emails/welcome mat

{Tune of "Eye of the Tiger Chorus plays at the computer desk}

SLAS: IT'S THE... EMAIL'S STUPID QUESTION... THAT KEEPS YOU ALL ENTERTAINED. I FEEL LIKE NO LONGER SINGING.

{Tune ends in a record scratch}

Subject: Wlecome to the neighborhood!

Dear 977,
Welcome to the neighborhood! Here are a few things to remember:

1. Always put out fivesday decorations. ALWAYS.
2. Stay away from the old man down the street.
3. If anyone asks if you have a finger box, say you have one made out of red plastic.
   
4. Never mention clue around me.

~The other 977

SLAS: No, he messed up. This is what it should read.

{Slas' head blocks the screen while he types. Chalk noises can be heard. After five seconds, he moves, revealing he typed new stuff but chalked out old stuff.}

SLAS: NOW we have a winner.

Subject: Wlecome to the neighborhood!

Dear 977 Guy who wins the race at the end of Rocky or something,
Welcome to the neigh gay-borhood! Here are a few things to remember beat the hell out of:

1. Always put out fivesday decorations. ALWAYS Me.
2. Stay away from the old man down the street Myself.
3. If anyone asks if you have a finger box, say you have one made out of red plastic I.
   
4. Never mention clue girls around me, as I am a homophobe.

~The other 977 idiot on Earth, meaning everyone but Slas

{Slas laughs out loud.}

SLAS: {not completly calmed down} Oh, I wish that was what he really sent. {Calms down} 779, I'm afraid you're too late. I already decided I HATE fivesday. It's not even capitalized! Second, the old man gave me this computer! He acted weird though. Said I needed to "repay the favor" later. Third, I frankly told them they can shove it, and really, REALLY did make one, then beat them with it. Fourth, clue.

{Zooms out to show Zoo looking like Goku standing next to . He suddenly screams and goes Super Saian on Slas' ass. Slas screams and is taken offscreen. A "Chuck Chuck" is heard, followed by the Paper coming down.}

Looks like Slas will be busy for a while.

> Click here to e-mail Slas

[email protected]

{5 seconds later Jake comes in.}}

JAKE: {yelling} Whatver he does, Slas, you're paying for it!