RiffText/Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Bell Quest/Segment4

{Dr. Brainfreeze is sipping a coffee}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Oooooh that is good coffee.

{Chwoka, SkullB, and Bluebry walk in. Dr. Brainfreeze drops his coffee on the floor}

CHWOKA: Well, that wasn't too bad, right guys?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Back already!? I wasn't ready yet!

{Dr. Brainfreeze runs off-screen}

SKULLB: ... Wonder where he's going?

CHWOKA: Well, he's running tons of these experiments, right? It makes some sort of sense.

{Dr. Brainfreeze peeks back in-frame.}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: I have clones for that reason. Oh, and, uh...{points to the coffee spill} clean this up.

{Dr. Brainfreeze runs back off-screen.}

SKULLB: I'm not going to, just to spite him.

CHWOKA: But you can pressure-wash the carpet in two microseconds, why don't you?

SKULLB: ... You're missing a vital point. I'll let you figure it out.

CHWOKA: Oh, right. Spite.

{Dr. Brainfreeze walks back onscreen}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Gentlemen! Seeing as you're here, I figure now is a good enough time to introduce you to my new partner-in-crime...Assistant!

{Assistant, wearing a polo and slacks, steps up. He looks a lot less pale than normal.}

ASSISTANT: You wanted to see me, Doctor?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes... I did!

SKULLB: Wow. What a dork.

CHWOKA: ...I don't like him already.

ASSISTANT: ... D-do I... no, no. Sorry.

SKULLB: Dork.

ASSISTANT: So, what's this about, Doctor?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Well, you know my experiments on watching bad things to find the worst fiction in existence? This is the "Homestar and Related Fics" group.

ASSISTANT: Oh! Nice to meet you all!

CHWOKA: What is the point of this, Doctor!?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: I'm sorry we're not up to your standards of MADCAP BLARGHEDY BLAG humor.

SKULLB: We have standards?

CHWOKA: I think you're overestimating-

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Bell Quest.

{Chwoka curls up into a little ball and wimpers}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: But no, seriously. I've got two fics for you!

SKULLB: ... T-two?

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Don't worry, one's short.

ASSISTANT: Lucky for YOU, you have to wait a week.

CHWOKA: Oh, well that's-

DR. BRAINFREEZE: without anything to do in between.

ASSISTANT: What's with that guy? {points to Bluebry}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: I think he took the polar plunge.

{The curtains close. Episode end}