RiffText/Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/10

Synopsis

Chaos Emeralds are scattered thanks to H44WP.

LIGHTNING GUY: Why would you be scattering thanks to him? I thought he was the enemy.

Darkangel recollects them. Homestar is baking a pizza.

Transcript

{H44WP goes through the portal back to his userpage house.}

H44WP: At last, I'm home free.

{H44WP gets out the Chaos Emeralds he stole.}

LIGHTNING GUY: I missed something, didn't I?

H44WP: Now to try what Noxigar should've done ages ago... CHAOS CONTROL!

{The wiki has several gaping holes in it, and is scattered.}

LIGHTNING GUY: The wiki is scattered? I didn't know that was physically possible.

H44WP: And now to get rid of these Chaos Emeralds...

{H44WP throws the Chaos Emeralds out of a window. Cut to Darkangel next door, who spots them.}

DARKANGEL: Well, what do we have here?

{Darkangel picks up the Chaos Emeralds.}

DARKANGEL: Excellent.

{Darkangel auctions the light blue Chaos Emerald on EBay,

LIGHTNING GUY: No one buys it because, surprise surprise, Sonic is just a game.

keeping the rest. Cut to Cyrus and Garzel.}

CYRUS: Somehow H44WP has scattered the wiki.

LIGHTNING GUY: OK. You win this round, lampshade.

I suggest parodying Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

GARZEL: Eh, sure. Why not?

LIGHTNING GUY: {quickly} I can think of many reasons. Many, many reasons!

{Cut to Clamburger on his computer}

CLAMBURGER: This is too short.

LIGHTNING GUY: No! It's good! It's perfect!

{Clamburger pulls a plug and his computer shuts down. Clamburger goes to a couch and watches TV.

LIGHTNING GUY: The action never stops, by the way.

Cut to Mike Control holding an egg.}

MIKE CONTROL: This is your brain.

{Mike Control gets out a frying pan.}

MIKE CONTROL: This is a drug.

{Mike Control shatters the egg into the frying pan, turning a stove on. The egg's insides in the frying pan sizzle.}

MIKE CONTROL: This is your brain on drugs.

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, I get it now.

{Cut to Homestar baking a pizza}

MIKE CONTROL: Okay, now that I've done an 80's reference,

LIGHTNING GUY: A what

can I have my pizza now?

HOMESTAR: You have to find the Sword of Bill Cosby,

LIGHTNING GUY: Shoot me.

first!

MIKE CONTROL: Well, this episode is unsavorily incomplete. I'm gonna go eat The Mu.

LIGHTNING GUY: Leave some for the cops.

{The background blackens to a "CANCELLED" text in red}

NOXIGAR: {offscreen} The show's not cancelled, the episode is!

LIGHTNING GUY: You always manage to disappoint me.