Records Of Bell/Records/27

Summary

It's a Records of Bell Christmas!

Cast:

Places:

Insult: tarballs

Credit Joke: Obviously Definitely Maybe Not You

Episode Information: 503-Never Buy Your Wife "Super Football Bros." For Christmas

Transcript

{open to the house. Tracy and MB are there}

TRACY: Mmm, boy, my lips are gettin' heavy.

MATURE BLING: I can't tell when you're telling the truth.

TRACY: I'm not.

MATURE BLING: How do I know anything you've said to me is-

TRACY: You don't.

{cue opening theme. Cut to a park. The ground is covered in snow. The castmembers walk in}

IM A BELL: Ah, what a lovely winter day.

SARAH: Yes, perfect for a walk in a park.

DON SKULL: True...

{pause five seconds}

IM A BELL: ...God, my writing sucks.

DAIGO: Hey, at least this isn't as bad as Bell Quest.

IM A BELL: ...Rule 2 of Im a bell: Don't talk about Bell Quest.

DAIGO: ...What's Rule 1?

MATURE BLING: Don't talk about Keiko.

{a single tear falls from Bell's eye}

DAIGO: ...BELL QUEST BELL QUEST BELL QUEST KEIKO KEIKO KEIKO.

{Bell roundhouse kicks Daigo into a nearby tree, which falls on him. Cut to a few minutes later. Daigo has a crack in his skull}

DAIGO: ...I hate you.

{Bell wellfaces}

DAIGO: ...WHY DID I EVEN JOIN YOU?

IM A BELL: WHO IS THE ONE WITH THE WHIP?

DAIGO: I'M SORRY!

{cut to a few minutes later. There are some benches with various homeless people sitting on them. The castmembers walk in}

IM A BELL: Hmm... I'm feeling rather generous today. Why not we let some of these people stay at the house? Even if just for the night.

SARAH: Well, I can see why you're feeling generous. It's Christmas Eve today, correct?

IM A BELL: ...It is? I forgot.

SARAH: ...How?

IM A BELL: Blame the censors. They don't like us saying anything about beliefs. {looks to the audience} {bleep} you, censors. Anyways, let's see who we have here... {camera cuts to a guy with a long beard trying to grab a small child} No... {camera cuts to an old woman} No... {camera cuts to H44WP} NO. {camera cuts to a man in a white trenchcoat and a light blue fedora. A figure whose body is obscured by a hooded cloak is sitting beside him} Ah. You two will do.

MAN:{looks at Bell} Eh?

CLOAKED FIGURE: What? What do you want?

SARAH: We were wondering if you two-

MAN: We cannot help you with whatever it is you came here for. Please go away.

IM A BELL: ...Okay. I guess you don't want to stay at our house. Let's go. {turns around, starts walking away}

CLOAKED FIGURE: You fool! {gets up, starts running towards Bell} WAIT!

IM A BELL:{turns around} Hmm?

CLOAKED FIGURE: I'm sorry about my friend. He is a little... Cold-hearted. W-we would love to stay at your house tonight. Will you please reconsider?

IM A BELL: ...Well, when you put it THAT way... Sure. Get your friend.

CLOAKED FIGURE: Yes, sir. {runs back to the man, grabs him, runs back to Bell}

IM A BELL: Alright! Let's go.

{cut to the 8-Bit house. The cast, the man in the trenchcoat, and the hooded figure step in}

CLOAKED FIGURE: Ah. What a lovely house.

SARAH: Thank you.

MAN: Yes... Lovely...

IM A BELL: Well, now that we're here, I'd better introduce ourselves. I'm Imothy Bellstrom, you can call me Bell.

TRACY: I'm Tracy, Bell's son.

SARAH: I'm Bell's wife and Tracy's stepmother, Sarah.

MATURE BLING: And I'm Bling, the family pet.

CLOAKED FIGURE: Nice to meet you all.

MAN: What're these little car things?

DON SKULL: I'm Don Skull-

DAIGO: And I'm Daigo-

DON SKULL & DAIGO: And we're Skullbuggies.

CLOAKED FIGURE: Isn't there some television show about you?

DON SKULL: I believe you are referring to the SkullB Show. Technically, it's not about us, but two of our brothers.

CLOAKED FIGURE: Ah. I see.

IM A BELL: Now that we've introduced ourselves, will you two reveal who you are?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Well... Alright. {looks at the man} You can go first.

MAN: Okay. {removes hat and trenchcoat, revealing he has long, white hair and light blue skin. He is wearing a blue shirt and blue pants} I am Jack Frost.

CLOAKED FIGURE: And I... {removes cloak, revealing he is an anthropomorphic crow} -am Forrest Raven, the Hooded Crow.

IM A BELL: ...AHAHAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY.

JACK FROST: ...What is?

IM A BELL: Jack Frost and the Hooded Crow, like the song.

FORREST: Song? What song?

IM A BELL: Jesus, does ANYBODY know Jethro Tull anymore?!

TO BE COMPLETED TOMORROW!!!!!