RiffText/BQ/1

NARRATOR: Hello. I bet you are wondering, who were those people and why did they just capture Bling?

NAMINE: Actually, I was wondering what narrative technique you could've used instead, to capture my attention.

Well, let's see..

{Cut to an underground lab. Two dark, unseeable

NAMINE: Knowing that unseeable is a word, I concede this is somewhat correct. On the other hand, I also surmise you could've just settled for invisible.

figures are staring at a monitor. On the monitor, Bling is in his bed, asleep.}

NARRATOR: But, nevermind that now, let's see what Im a bell's doing.

NAMINE: Oh. I was kind of hoping for an introduction of who exactly Bling and Im a bell are.

HOMESTAR: You said Doing {pronounces this like "boing"}!

{cut to Im a bell's computer room}

IM A BELL: Hey, where's Bling?

Captured

Dear Im a bell,
We have captured Bling. Please get Badstar, and whoever else you want and bring them to some random place. You'll probably see us. Whoever we are.
From
Anonymous Evils

attatchment

NAMINE: From the Homestar joke-repeat and the Strong Bad Email-esque introduction, I can already tell where this originated first: The Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki.

IM A BELL: Bling... KIDNAPPED?!!! NOOO!!!-Hey, an attachment!

{Im a bell clicks the attatchment. the words "Alphacram.exe re-installed! Well, that sucks!" appear onscreen}

NAMINE: I would've hoped the attachment might have been a helpful guide on why Bling was a valuable hostage, or maybe even a clue as to why Badstar is valuable.

IM A BELL: Alpha Cram? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh, hey Badstar.

BADSTAR: What's up? Bling Kidnapped? ALPHA CRAM RE-INSTALLED? NOOOO!!!!!!!

IM A BELL & BADSTAR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Namine sighs}
NAMINE: Yare yare daze. I was hoping for something a bit more comical than "screaming NO at the top of your lungs."

IM A BELL: So, who should we bring? I think my cousin could help!

BADSTAR: Good idea! Let's bring Vegerot!

NAMINE: Sounds awfully close to an amalgam of Vegeta and Kakarot.

{Namine glares.}

NAMINE: Dragonball Z and I don't get along.

IM A BELL: How about Home-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Me?!!!!

IM A BELL: -school. Let's bring Homeschool. Oh, and Hom-

HOMESTAR: ME?!!!

IM A BELL: -sar. Homsar should come with us. Oh, and-

HOMESTAR: MEEEE?!!!!! Pleeeeaase? Can I come?!

IM A BELL: -Kraxario & Anthru-Borg. Hey, Homestar, you wanna come, too?

NAMINE: Actually, this scene was rather hilarious. I imagine they could have scrapped Kraxario and Anthru-Borg, though.

HOMESTAR:{annoyed and tired} I guess so. {whispering} Pain-in-the-

VEGEROT: We need to bring this to the HIA's attention.

HOMESCHOOL: Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

IM A BELL: Homeschool? Since when have you been out of randospace?

HOMESCHOOL: Oh, a few hours. You know who we should bring?!! Ebeneezer Finklehöller!

NAMINE: Nice name, but... who? From where, more specifically?

IM A BELL: Why that jerk?

BADSTAR: Let's bring Pter and Kyubii.

IM A BELL: Grood ideer! Y'know what? I think this is enough. Lesse, Me, Badstar, Bellson, Vegerot, Homeschool, Homsar, Kraxario, Anthru-Borg, Homestar, Ebeneezer Finklehöller, Pter, and Kyubii... Yeah, that's enough!

NAMINE: I'd have simply kept it simple with just Badstar, Im A Bell, Homeschool, and Homestar. I see you were trying to be generous to your friends with the inclusion of Pter and Kyubii, so I surmise they could also tag along.

{Cut to the lair of the two evil guy's.

NAMINE: guys

One of them is looking at Bling, who is in a cage.}

????-?????: Hello, Bling! BWAHAHA!!!

?? ? ????: {Offscreen.}Hey, come look at this! This will sure give you a laugh! --what's ???? ?? ??? supposed to mean? ????-????? means Anti-Bling, but I know ???? ?? ??? doesn't mean H44WP or Ll e bami.-- --...It means Ll e bami. ??=Ll ?=e ????=bami.--

NAMINE: It might've done you a service to not arrange the question marks in this fashion. Given I saw the Episode title involving Anti-Bling, I already knew one of them was Anti-Bling the whole time. As for the other, you kind of gave it away as I was copypasting the script. I'm not sure if that constitutes cheating or not.

????-?????: What?

{????-????? walk's over to where the two boss evil guys. The boss guy's are looking at a monitor.}

?????:

NAMINE: Counting the number of ?'s and having personal knowlege of whom Im a bell had a gripe with back then, I'm going to hazard a guess this is H44WP.

It's those fools! they actually think they can find us! What they don't know is that our lair is located on... THE EXTREMELY SPOOK CLIFF!

NAMINE: SPOOK CLIFF's origin.

{Beat}

NAMINE: I am slightly amused, I guess?

THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN MAKE IT HERE IS IF THEY HAVE THIS MAP!!! {Holds up a map. A wind blow the map out of his hands and out a window.}

????-?????: Aw, sh-

NAMINE: Convenient.

{cut back to the computer room}

IM A BELL: Wait, how are we gonna find-

{a map flies into Im a bell's eye}

IM A BELL: GWAAAH!!!!!

VEGEROT: Hey, it's a map to the kidnsapper's

NAMINE: kidnapper's

lair!

END OF CHAPTER 1

NAMINE: This actually wasn't half-bad of an introduction. If this actually had a little more exposition and paced itself, it would actually be somewhat decent.