RiffText/AruseusEmails/killer

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Roy Jr, Bubs

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: July 18th, 2007

NAMINE: "Lines of Dialogue In The Email: 27"

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Check check check, all you do is flippin' check and ya' know how to check e-mail! {clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: I check you check

Subject:Roy Jr's Revenge!!!!

Aruseus,
I heard that Roy Jr. is trying to kill you. Really. DO SOMETHING!!!!
-Sterrence88

ARUSEUS: {typing} Look, Stimpy84. Roy Jr. and I are the closest pals. He would never kill me. I can think of all of the good times together we had...

NAMINE: Those times are actually nonexistent.

{Flashback to triplemail3}

ARUSEUS: Get down from there!

ROY JR: Never!

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} And then...

{Cut to the Field, Aruseus is holding Roy Jr. by the tail, he raises him up}

ARUSEUS: Who wants this dog?

ROY JR: Hey!

NAMINE: You tried to sell him.

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} And there was also...

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, Roy Jr. is peeking from behind the Sign}

ARUSEUS: Get your blue butt down here, NOW.

ROY JR: Make me.

NAMINE: "Promise me you won't sell me to slavery!"

ARUSEUS: Ok.

{Aruseus changes into Fire form and shoots a Fire Blast at the sign, burning it, along with Roy Jr, who becomes charred}

NAMINE: Do you use any of the other plates? I think Toxic Plate needs more love. Because seriously, Toxic Spikes'll wreck your shit.

ROY JR: Ow.

BUBS: You're paying for that.

{Cut back to E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Ok...maybe not such good times, but still...we had times! Now, go away!

{Aruseus sends the email and walks out, suddenly, a giant tomahawk blade swings from the ceiling}

NAMINE: And now Roy Jr. wants payback. Payback he rightfully deserves.

ROY JR: {offscreen} Shoot!

{Cut to TLA Kitchen, Aruseus is looking through the fridge, Roy Jr. peeks through the doorway}

ROY JR: {quietly} I hope he takes the milk...

ARUSEUS: Hmm...I'm in a craving for milk...

NAMINE: "Hey, Arceus! Pour milk on my breasts!," said Cresselia. It was mating season all over again-
NOXIGAR: While that is only hilarious to me, I highly advise you stop doing that. It's getting a little out of character for you. And I already am one who looks at people on Tumblr with unbridled disgust the moment they make Eridan Ampora say "nyeh" - something he never does in the actual comic.

ROY JR: {quietly} Yes!

ARUSEUS: ...based products! I do like a bit of gorgonzola! {takes out a block of cheese}

ROY JR: ARGHBLBLBL!

{Cut back to the Computer Room, Aruseus is nibbling the cheese}

ARUSEUS: Mmm...cheese.

{Roy Jr. comes in with an axe and slices Aruseus}

NAMINE: Slices Arceus where? How do we know the wound shouldn't be fatal?

ARUSEUS: Ow?

{Aruseus' upper half slids off the chair}

ROY JR: ARGH! I thought that would kill you!

ARUSEUS: Get the glue gun now.

ROY JR: Why?

ARUSEUS: 'Cuz if you don't, I'll blast you to next email.

NAMINE: "You only have five seconds of consciousness left, Arse-hee-yuhs! So bugger off!"

ROY JR: Uh...leaving!

NAMINE: That's your closing line.
NAMINE: COMEDY GOLD RIGHT HERE!

{Roy Jr. runs out, The Paper Comes down}

Fun Facts

• "I do like a bit of gorgonzola!" is somthing

NAMINE: something

HST says alot.

NAMINE: This email sucked. How does something get away with having less lines than the first email? I don't understand why this show is liked by Noxigar, let alone whoever gave Arceus that Fanstuff of the Fortnight award.