RiffText/AruseusEmails/jlammy

Aruseus gets a dare.

NAMINE: "I dare you to continue this Email show."

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Strong Bad, Inner Aruseus, Lyle, Tom, Strong Sad {easter egg}}

Places: Computer Room, Strong Sad's Room {easter egg}

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 4th, 2007

NAMINE: I bet this was really awesome back in 2007 when it all started. Otherwise it wouldn't have gotten a Fanstuff of the Fortnight in late 2008.

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {while typing "run_arumail.exe"}: I'm all about the e-mail. It's crazy cool.

subject: jlammy

aruseus
i dare you to say jlammy 100 times
JLAMMY MAN

NAMINE: Why would you accept this email? That's a totally lucid premise that really goes nowhere.

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Mr. I Have Poor Grammar, or IHPG, I'll accept your dare.

{Aruseus gets up out of the chair and does a morning stretch}

ARUSEUS: Ok...here I go. Jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy, jlammy,

{The screen fades to black, white texts appears onscreen}

A few minutes later...

ARUSEUS: {panting} jlammy...jlammy...jlammy...jlammy...Ah! I can't do this. Wait! I have a plan!

NAMINE: Does it involve transferring the email to someone else?

{Aruseus types onscreen}

Fwd:[email protected]

ARUSEUS: Perfect plan.

STRONG BAD: High-five!

{The scene freezes and darkens, Inner Aruseus appears}

INNER ARUSEUS: CHA! That dunb fatso will be stuck in his room until the end of time!

NAMINE: Well, bullying Strong Sad without an explicable reason wass definitely one of the quirks early Strong Bad Emails had. Not a funny quirk by any means, but if he wants his Email show to fluorish I guess he has to continue along with the imitative nature.

{Strong Bad and Aruseus high-five, cut back to Lappy}

ARUSEUS: {typing} So there you have it, Jiblamy. I said jlammy 100 times.

LYLE: {Offscreen, The Cheat noises}

ARUSEUS: I told you! I will Hyper Beam the crap out of Zippy if he doesn't get you that burrito!

NAMINE: Oh, a Pokemon nod. Although I think this was back when Gen. IV was still the norm. Also, Hyper Beam sucks. "You'll lock yourself in for a turn? I'll just switch over to this Ghost-type here, and-"
NAMINE: Yeah, those nitpicks are more Noxigar's style. Anyway, I guess it's good for the author to keep his reference frame... stable?

LYLE: {Offscreen, annoyed and questioning The Cheat noises}

ARUSEUS: You better believe it, or I'll "1000 Years of Pain" you!

NAMINE: "I couldn't totally not reference Naruto. After all, I still found that show likeable until Shippuden!"
NAMINE: Heh. Noxigar found Naruto okay enough to watch until later variants of it threw him off too much.

LYLE: {screams, Cut back to Lappy}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Ugh...Lyle still wants a burrito...I better go give Zippy what he deserv-

{The screen zooms out with the door visible. A loud fart noise is heard, and a gas cloud can be seen going through the door}

TOM: {offscreen} AH ZAMORAK! THAT REEKS!

LYLE: {The Cheat noises}

TOM: LYLE! NEXT TIME I SEE OUR GENERAL, I'LL TELL HIM TO NOT GIVE YOU BURRITOS!

NAMINE: I recommend Zaba's next time you're in the mood for Mexican cuisine. You'd actually get to choose the burrito's ingredients so your guts don't split!

LYLE: {depressed The Cheat noises}

ARUSEUS: Tom! Shut up or I'll "1000 Years of Pain" you too!

TOM: THIS IS AT LEAST 5000 ON THE NOSE!

NAMINE: Line totally didn't come out of nowhere. Nope.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

Click on Strong Bad to see what happened to the e-mail.

{Cut to Strong Sad's room}

STRONG SAD: Jlammy...jlammy...jlammy...jlammy...

NAMINE: I feel bad for Strong Sad.

Fun Facts

• Jlammy is from Imitation Strong Bad Email "threemail".

NAMINE: REFERENCE TO ANOTHER SHOW I WOULDN'T KNOW OF

• This is the shortest Aruseus Email to date.

NAMINE: Thankfully, this was also the easiest riff to date.

• 1000 Years of Pain is a technique in Naruto that Kakashi uses.

NAMINE: Oh, if only I remembered Naruto well enough to check your facts.

• "Hyper Beaming Zippy untill he gets you that burrito" is from Zippy Email this is war.

NAMINE: REFERENCE TO ANOTHER SHOW I WOULDN'T KNOW OF

• Zamorak is one of the three gods in the online game Runescape

NAMINE: If only either Noxigar or myself cared about Runescape~