(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/AruseusEmails/variations
ARUMAIL1: variations
Aruseus explains himself in different timezones.
Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Aruntosaurus, Caveman Homestar, Pterodactyl Coach Z, Aruseus the Steed, Knight, Homestar, The Polka-man, Nick Knackerston, The Sneak, The Homestar Runner, Anthruseus, Cheatball, 1-Up, Anthru-borg, Overlord T, Stinkoman {easter egg}, Bubs {easter egg}
Places: Computer Room, The Cave, Peasantry Field, Knick-knack Stand, 20X6 Field, Overlord T's Fortress, 20X6 Computer Room {easter egg} The Field {easter egg}
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: January 1st, 2007
Transcript
ARUSEUS {while typing "run_arumail.exe"}: E-mail he, E-mail hoo, E-mail ha, E-mail HA HA!
NAMINE: Hm, this isn't too bad. Although I think E-mail only has two syllables, making this song throw in an additional syllable in the term every time he sings it.
subject: variationsDear Aruseus,
Sidekick Bob
If you had different variations, what would they be?
Curious,
ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Bobby, I guess we'd start out with the prehistoric era, where there would be the viscious Anrontosaurus!
NAMINE: Oh, a time-based episode. Hoorah.
{Cut to a cave in prehistoric times, where you see a brontosaurus-like Aruseus smash a cave with his tail}
ARUNTOSAURUS: {roars}
{Caveman Homestar walks onscreen}
CAVEMAN HOMESTAR: Oh, jlammy. That annoying dinosaur is after us again.
NAMINE: Wait, is the time frame of this before or after cavemen discover the art of language?
ARUNTOSAURUS: {roars, smashes Caveman Homestar, Coach Z Pterodactyl files in}
COACH Z PTERODACTYL: Check it out! The Aruntosaurus can do it again!
{Cut to a field in Peasantry, where a non-anthro Aruseus, walks onscreen with a knight riding him}
NAMINE: Wait. Aruseus can morph at will?
ARUSEUS: Then in the time of Peasantry, there would live a vailant knight, and I would be his steed!
{The knight whips the steed}
KNIGHT: Move you worthless piece of dung!
{Cut to Nick Knackertson's stand, in the Old-Timey Era}
NAMINE: Oh come on - at least the caveman era had more than one line for some characters!
ARUSEUS: After that, I probably...
{Homestar runs in}
HOMESTAR: Wait, wait. I got it. Do you like to dance?
ARUSEUS: No. Dancing is a waste of my...
HOMESTAR: Ok. In Old-Timey, you would be...
{Cut to Nick Knackerston's Nearly Fabulous Knick-Knack Stand}
HOMESTAR: ...The Polka-man!
NAMINE: I'm a bit confused right now. Give me a second here.
{The Polka-man walks in}
THE POLKA-MAN: Yello there, Nick! Do you wanna see me dance?
NICK: No thank you, I'm tired.
{The Sneak comes onscreen and steals a knick-knack, but Nick hits him with a flyswatter. The Sneak ends up a splat on the ground. The Homestar Runner Walks in}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, phooey. The Sneak, did you try to steal one of Nick Knackertson's Nearly Fabulous Knick-Knacks?
NAMINE: Pretty sure he did, yeah.
{Cut back to Computer Room}
ARUSEUS: What!? That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! How did you come up with that?
HOMESTAR: I read the transcript.
ARUSEUS: You can read?
NAMINE: Looks like you haven't heard of HREmails, or near everything else Homestar was in.
HOMESTAR: Sorry for bothering your e-mail. I guess I should go.
ARUSEUS: You better.
{Cut back to Lappy}
ARUSEUS: {typing} So there you have it. Then again I might as well predict who I will be in the future, probably some guy working for some evil alliance bent on taking over the world...
{Cut to 20X6 Field, Anthruseus is standing there, striking poses}
ANTHRUSEUS: Oh yeah! No one can defeat me! I'm strong!
NAMINE: More like you're god-like
NAMINE: No, seriously. Was the fact Aruseus is equivalent to a demigod not taken into consideration for these lines?
{Cheatball bounces in}
CHEATBALL: Cheatball! {explodes}
ANTHRUSEUS: {flying away} AAAAAH!!!
{Cheatball reappears. 1-Up walks onscreen}
1-UP: Hey Cheatball, Did that white furry guy have any pudding? I lost my pudding. I want pudding.
NAMINE: For some reason I'm also in the mood for pudding.
ARUSEUS: Finally, I would still be in that alliance, but then take over the whole world, and I would be cyborg-ish, and less annoying.
{Cut to Overlord T's fortress, where he is sitting in a chair}
OVERLORD T: Anthru-borg, get me a prawn shake!
ANTHRU-BORG Oh, all right. {flies offscreen, comes back}
OVERLORD T: Good! Get me another!
NAMINE: Not quite a stellar example of you "taking over the whole world" is it?
{Cut back to Lappy}
ARUSEUS: {typing} So there you have it, Bubs. All my variations. Though I didn't really like my Old-Timey version...Ah well, Homestar's an idiot and you can't change that. {The Paper comes down, reading "Click here to email Aruseus."}
{After about 5 seconds, Aruseus will say something}
ARUSEUS: {under his breath} Polka...ew...
NAMINE: Hm? I guess I'll figure out what his deal with polka is.
Easter Eggs
- Click on "variations" to see a cutscene.
{Cut to a Computer in 20X6, Anthruseus is answering an email}
ANTHRUSEUS: {typing} Well, Bob, back then I was probably be a little taller, and I answered emails!
{Zooms out, Stinkoman is standing next to Anthruseus}
STINKOMAN: Get off of MY computer!
{Cut back to Present-day Computer Room}
NAMINE: It's never been established if Stinkoman had a computer or not.
- Click on "Bubs" to see another cutscene.
{Cut to the Field, Aruseus is in a crawl position, straining, while Bubs is sitting on his back}
BUBS: Move you stupid pile of crap!
{Aruseus collapses, Cut back to Computer Room}
Fun Facts
- Sidekick Bob is from Tampo Emails.
- The scene with Anthru-borg is similar to the easter egg in Not-So Zippy Email "massive fail" with Mr. Cradgage and Pyro.
- In the easter egg, Anthruseus mentions his present day form.
- The E-mail song is a parody of the Numa Numa Song.
- The Coach Z bird flying in is a reference to Summer Short Shorts.
NAMINE: Oh, if only these references, other than the latter two, made any lick of sense.
