Difference between revisions of "RiffText/BQ/MST3K"

Latest revision as of 08:17, 6 December 2015

BADSTAR: Hello, I'm Badstar, that star in this... abomination. Why are we doing this? Cause its been years since we've starred in this, and we wanna rip this crap apart! ...Also we wanna ripoff the MST3K crew.

IM A BELL: And I'm Bell, and I continue to make monstrosities like this to this very day! I just can't learn, can I, Badstar?

BADSTAR: {Chuckles} Neither can I, neither can I... Anyway, let's tear this apart like yesterdays meatloaf! ... {Whispers} Never let Sarah cook again...

IM A BELL:{whispering} Well, I liked it. {pulls out a remote control, presses a button}

{cut to a theater similar to that of MST3K's "theater". Silhouetted like everything else, Bell and Badstar walk onscreen and sit down}

SKULLB: Hey, you know what would be even more meta than this? If I did a commentary on a commentary! I mean, it's like the Ouroboros of irony, and... I'm, uh... I'm not welcome here, uh, am I?

NAMINE: Sucks to be Skullbuggy after MFT3K, doesn't it?

BADSTAR: ...You can stay for the first part, how about that?
IM A BELL: I'm fine with that.
BADSTAR: But the catch is you can't make fun of anime... AT ALL
IM A BELL: MUAHAHAHAHA

NAMINE: This sounds more like an IRC chat than an actual riff. That's probably what DVD Commentaries are supposed to be, anyway. It's what they are in practice at least.

SKULLB: Oh, I would, but... I've got some current obligations. You know, legally.
{Pan over to show Chwoka with a gun to SkullB's head.}

NAMINE: Those are some heavy obligations, depending on what gun Chwoka owns.

SKULLB: I do hope you understand.
{Chwoka grabs SkullB by the neck and drags him out.}
BADSTAR: Well, lets begin this monstrosity... PLAY THE TAPE

{Cut to a black screen. Slowly, writing in gold letters slowly fades in. It say's "Im a Bell

IM A BELL: How did I not notice that one? I usually go insane over the wrong capitalization of my name.

NAMINE: I'm missing an accent on my e in literally everything involving the WUW that I'm a part of. I usually don't sweat it.

and Badstar present..." The writing slowly fades away}

BADSTAR: This is probably the part I hate the most... the fact that I was in this revealed to the whole world...

BLING: Hi juys! Who is you?

IM A BELL: I hated that even more.
BADSTAR: Dear god, we were such noobs...
COW: Dear god, I wasn't evolved in most of this.

NAMINE: I imagine it would be hard for cows to evolve at ramming speeds.

????-????? & ?? ? ????: Grab 'em!

COW: I hope you meant Grab him, because 'em is usually plural.

{two men capture Bling}

BLING: WAAAH!!!! HEWP ME! SOMEONE!

COW: I'm still annoyed by your lisp.
IM A BELL: At least I only replaced R's and L's with W's.
COW: Slightly good point.

{the words "Bell Quest" appears they slowly fade away}

COW: What happened to punctuation
IM A BELL: Happening what to coherent sentence?

END OF PROLOGUE!

NARRATOR: Hello. I bet you are wondering, who were those people and why did they just capture Bling? Well, let's see..

{Cut to an underground lab. Two dark, unseeable figures are staring at a monitor. On the monitor, Bling is in his bed, asleep.}

NARRATOR: But, nevermind that now, let's see what Im a bell's doing.

HOMESTAR: You said Doing {pronounces this like "boing"}!

{cut to Im a bell's computer room}

IM A BELL: Hey, where's Bling?

Captured

Dear Im a bell,
We have captured Bling. Please get Badstar, and whoever else you want and bring them to some random place. You'll probably see us. Whoever we are.
From
Anonymous Evils

attatchment

IM A BELL: Bling... KIDNAPPED?!!! NOOO!!!-Hey, an attachment!

BADSTAR: {Singing} Eyes on fire, strong desire...

NAMINE: I don't recognize those lyrics.

{Im a bell clicks the attatchment. the words "Alphacram.exe re-installed! Well, that sucks!" appear onscreen}

IM A BELL: Alpha Cram? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh, hey Badstar.

BADSTAR: What's up? Bling Kidnapped? ALPHA CRAM RE-INSTALLED? NOOOO!!!!!!!

COW: !!!!!!! That's bad !!!!!!!

IM A BELL & BADSTAR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM A BELL: O

IM A BELL: So, who should we bring? I think my cousin could help!

BADSTAR: Good idea! Let's bring Vegerot!

IM A BELL: How about Home-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Me?!!!!

IM A BELL: -school. Let's bring Homeschool. Oh, and Hom-

HOMESTAR: ME?!!!

IM A BELL: -sar. Homsar should come with us. Oh, and-

HOMESTAR: MEEEE?!!!!! Pleeeeaase? Can I come?!

IM A BELL: -Kraxario & Anthru-Borg. Hey, Homestar, you wanna come, too?

HOMESTAR:{annoyed and tired} I guess so. {whispering} Pain-in-the-

VEGEROT: We need to bring this to the HIA's attention.

HOMESCHOOL: Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

IM A BELL: Homeschool? Since when have you been out of randospace?

HOMESCHOOL: Oh, a few hours. You know who we should bring?!! Ebeneezer Finklehöller!

IM A BELL: Why that jerk?

BADSTAR: Let's bring Pter and Kyubii.

IM A BELL: Grood ideer! Y'know what? I think this is enough. Lesse, Me, Badstar, Bellson, Vegerot, Homeschool, Homsar, Kraxario, Anthru-Borg, Homestar, Ebeneezer Finklehöller, Pter, and Kyubii... Yeah, that's enough!

{Cut to the lair of the two evil guy's. One of them is looking at Bling, who is in a cage.}

????-?????: Hello, Bling! BWAHAHA!!!

?? ? ????: {Offscreen.}Hey, come look at this! This will sure give you a laugh!

????-?????: What?

{????-????? walk's over to where the two boss evil guys. The boss guy's are looking at a monitor.}

?????: It's those fools! they actually think they can find us! What they don't know is that our lair is located on... THE EXTREMELY SPOOK CLIFF! THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN MAKE IT HERE IS IF THEY HAVE THIS MAP!!! {Holds up a map. A wind blow the map out of his hands and out a window.}

????-?????: Aw, sh-

{cut back to the computer room}

IM A BELL: Wait, how are we gonna find-

{a map flies into Im a bell's eye}

IM A BELL: GWAAAH!!!!!

VEGEROT: Hey, it's a map to the kidnsapper's lair!

END OF CHAPTER 1

NAMINE: Kind of disappointing that they didn't continue.